Off Camera

Nothing ever stays buried.

"No f*****g way."

"Yeah, that's what I thought when they told me too." I dropped onto my bed face first, my body stretching off the pent up exhaustion in it.

Hori was standing in the middle of the room, one sock half off her foot. She'd stopped attempting to remove it the moment I started talking.

"Since when did the school start giving a s**t about things like that?" Hori asked, her eyebrows raising even though she knew there was no way I could possibly have an answer to that.

“One of the reasons I turned them down.” I said, my face still flat on the bed, muffling my voice in some way. “And besides, the dude's an ass, he legit told me to f**k off in class today.”

Hori's mouth flew wide open and I could have sworn that I saw a mocking smile cross her face for a second. “Are you being serious? You mean the hot transfer kid told you to f**k off.”

She burst out laughing, unable to hold it back in anymore. Her gaze caught my still body after a while and she stopped.

“Well, he isn't all that.” She continued, trying to reduce the impact of the damage she had already done.

"Besides, something is off about the whole thing. Transfer students don't just show up mid year with the board already managing their image, Connie.”

"I know." I sat up, my gaze focused on her. “and that's why I never want to have anything to do with him.”

She yanked off the socks from her foot and reached into her bag, pulling out her laptop.

"What are you doing?" I asked, my gaze following her as she got on her bed and opened up the laptop.

"Looking him up." She responded immediately, her gaze focused on the laptop.

"Hori—"

"Kyrian what again?" She stopped typing and met my gaze.

I sighed and rolled my eyes. "Maddox."

"Maddox." She typed it fast, murmuring the syllables until she was done. "Kyrian Maddox—"

I lay back and looked at the ceiling, my hands supporting my head as I waited patiently for what seemed like ten minutes.

"This is pointless—"

I sat up. Hori's eyes were wide as she stared at the screen like she had just seen a ghost.

I waited a while for her to say something but she didn't.

"Hori."

She turned the laptop around slowly, her gaze shifting to my face.

HOCKEY PROSPECT KYRIAN MADDOX SUED FOR s****l ASSAULT—SCANDAL RAISES QUESTION ABOUT HIS FUTURE IN HOCKEY.

My heart dropped. I knew the bastard was cancerous, but this…this is way worse.

Former girlfriend of Crestfield-bound prospect Kyrian Maddox came forward with allegations of s****l assault last spring. Maddox was held briefly before charges were dropped following contradicting testimonies. The case has since been closed but questions remain about—

I stopped reading, my fingers were pressing into my palm and my heart was beating so fast I thought it was about to force its way out.

Assault.

I wasn't past it, I never was, I had only been lying to myself.

"Hey." Hori's voice pulled me out of my spiral. "You okay?"

"Yeah." I answered, blinking my way back to the present. "Can you just—get me some water. Please."

I could feel her gaze on my skin. I kept my eyes on a fixed point on the wall and kept my body completely still and after a moment I heard her set the laptop down and get up.

I breathed in and out slowly

It's not the same thing, I told myself. It's not about you.

I pressed my nails harder into my palm, my feet tapping the ground in irregular rhythms.

Hori came back and pressed the cup into my hand, her eyes scanning me for a moment.

"What was—" she started.

A knock at the door stopped her and both our gaze shifted to the door.

I put the cup down, stood up, crossed the room and opened it without even caring to ask who was at the door.

Dean Harlow stood in the corridor, still putting on the same clothes he had on in the afternoon.

"Miss Reid. Sorry to disturb your evening." He glanced past me, into the room. "There's someone in the boardroom asking for you.”

Who could it be? I thought to myself, but of course there's only one way to find out.

The corridor felt longer than it had this afternoon or maybe I was just walking slower. I really couldn’t tell.

The boardroom door was slightly open when I got there and I could see light coming through the gap.

I pushed it open and the room felt extremely large with just two people in it.

He turned the moment I walked in, he was wearing a black suit, with an height that made him look like Bruce Wayne and Harvey Specter at the same f*****g time.

"Miss Reid." He extended a hand, his eyes scanning my face. "Director Callum Vress. Sit down, please."

I sat down and he remained standing for a moment, then took the chair across from me and set his hands flat on the table like he was about to drop a bomb.

"I'm going to be direct with you," he said, his face effortlessly neutral and hard to read.

"I'm the executive director of a new production launching here at Crestfield this semester. A show called Playbook." He spoke slowly, like he had all the time in the world.

"Twenty four students, four shared houses. Each of you will be ranked based on audience engagement." He paused again for the umpteenth time since he started speaking. "We want you in it."

I stared at him patiently, waiting for him to finish speaking before I politely turned him down.

"Not as a matchmaker," he continued. "As a participant, paired with Kyrian Maddox in a relationship the cameras follow across the semester."

My heart stopped for a moment and then I almost laughed, because the audacity of this man was very impressive.

I'd said no three hours ago to something smaller, in this same room, and someone had gone away and fetched this man and his television show bullshit like that was going to change anything.

"Director Vress," I said, very calmly, a small smile tugging at my lips. "I was in this room earlier today and turned down something considerably less than what you're asking for." I reached for my bag. "So I think you already know my answer."

"Miss Connie—"

"I'm sorry, I really am, thank you for your time—" I stood, pushed the chair back, turned toward the door—

And then I heard it.

My body stopped before my brain could even catch up. Every single thing in me went completely still and I stood there with my back to the room and the sound coming from behind me and I knew.

Before I turned around, before I saw anything. I already knew exactly what was playing because I'd spent two years trying to forget about it and I'd never quite managed.

I turned around slowly and the screen on the wall was on.

The girl on it was me, moaning loudly as that bastard slammed his c**k inside me. The same bastard that leaked the video to my high school and the hockey community at large.

That was two years ago in a different city and a completely different life that I had packed up and moved away from and now, I was looking at it on a screen in a boardroom.

My heart slammed against my ribs. I was just standing there with my hands trembling at my sides and Vress watching me watch the tape.

My hands wouldn't stop shaking, no matter what I tried. I pressed them flat against my thighs and gripped the fabric of my jeans.

He clicked the remote and the screen went dark.

The room was completely silent.

Vress looked at me, his hands settling back on the table.

"I think you'd want to reconsider.”