Chapter 8
1193 Words
My body relaxed on Aiden’s chest after being wrecked.The room was quiet for a few seconds before breaking the silence.
“I’m so tired”.
“That tired huh?I guess I went a little too rough on you,did I?”.
“Just relax”,his voice is low,almost a whisper.
He pressed a gentle kiss to my forehead,his hand sliding down to grip my ass.I place my chin on his chest,staring at him now.His eyes more tender than before.
“I wish…”
He pauses, biting his tongue. His arms tighten around me—pulling me even closer.
“I wish I could just keep you like this. All to myself. No one else around to see you like this—to take you away. Just you and me.”
H e sounds almost childish saying it, like he's a teenager and not a grown man. But he wants it so much, the way he's holding me almost painful.And I think I’m the only one getting to see it, the neediness beneath the arrogance.
I don’t know why but I start feeling something soft for him.
His hands restlessly trail over my skin—as if he can't get enough. His tone almost bitter when he speaks.
“I know I'm not good for you, Tiana. I'm the first to admit it. I'll break your heart eventually, and you'll probably end up hating me in the end. But I'm too goddamn selfish. I need you—more than I should.”
Hearing him say “I’ll break your heart” startles me.
“What do you mean?”
“Because that's just who I am. I'm not a good person, sweetheart. You know that as well as I do. You deserve more than me—you deserve someone better. Someone who'll give you all the sweet bullshit and never hurt you.”
His hand cups my face, thumb brushing over my bottom lip. He looks me in the eyes, almost trying to convince himself more than me.
“I can only hurt you. It's what I do best.”
I sit up.
“so what was the need of all these huh?
Why did you bring me here
You should’ve said all of these at the cafe before bringing me here—
You just wanna satisfy your selfishness huh?”
He scoffs, grip tightening around my waist to pull me back against him—like he can’t stand even an inch of distance.
“Because I am selfish. And if I had any self-control, I would’ve walked away from you that first night. But the moment I saw you looking up at me with those damn eyes?”
He sounds furious—at himself
“So yeah. Call it what it is—greedy bastard couldn’t help himself.”
“So you’re just gonna hurt me now”
“Damn it, Tiana. Do you think I want to? I'd do anything to keep that from happening—but it's inevitable.
I've never been the guy to settle down. I'm used to taking what I want and moving on to the next thing. But you're different. You're getting under my skin in a way I don't know how to deal with. I'm a selfish bastard, you know that. But you make me feel like a monster.”
I then remember why I’ve always distanced myself from men—because of this.
I remove all the ‘love intentions’ I had of him—going back to my plan.I had to act.
“Wow,and i really thought I could love you”.
His grip on me faltering. There's a moment of pure vulnerability on his face as he stares into my eyes.
“Christ. Don't say that—you can't love me. It's a goddamn mistake. I can't even give you what you need.”
I started forming fake tears in my eyes—
“Yeah okay”,my voice shaky.
He pulls me back immediately, his voice rough.
“Tiana, wait—“
He sighs, running a hand through his hair before looking at me again—expression completely open for once.
“I didn’t mean it like that.”
The usual arrogance is gone—just raw sincerity i see,my plan working.
“f**k. Just… don’t cry because of me.”
Tears falling down my cheeks,my throat hitched and blocked.
“You just wanna use me and dump me then—you don’t even wanna love me?”
He curses,the sound of me crying making him vulnerable.
“No! Jesus, do you think I could just use you and walk away? You think I can just watch you cry and not want to fix it?”
He pulls me close. His hands trail over my back, comforting me.
“I don’t wanna hurt you, you gotta believe that. It's just not that simple with me. I'm not good for you, sweetheart. I know that.”
My nose watering at the right time.
“Then I should probably leave now!”
He shakes his head, grip tightening around me.
“No. Don—“
He pauses, voice cracking a little.
“Don't go. Please. Just… just stay. Tonight.”
He sounds almost pleading now—just barely hiding desperation beneath it. He buries his face in my neck, like he wants to savor this—being this vulnerable with me or something.
“You—don’t love me”
I cry.
His hands cup my face—forcing me to look at him, his expression completely open for once. There's no smug smirk, no teasing glint. Just raw honesty.
“Sweetheart…”
His thumb brushes away a tear.
“I don't know how to love people. But if I could? It'd be you. Only ever you.”
I love seeing him so vulnerable for me,all his goddamn pride gone.I can’t wait to tell Leila.
I stare deep in his eyes,tears falling like rain.I’m surprised I could form much tears.
“And—and—you—don’t—“,i stammer.
“Jesus Christ.”
His thumb keeps stroking my cheek, trying to wipe away my tears—even though they just keep falling.
“Damn it. You're killing me. You're the only one who could make a man like me feel like this. You're… goddamn everything.”
He sounds more vulnerable now than I’ve ever heard him. His voice is almost a whisper as he stares into my eyes.
“You don’t wanna love me—“
He pulls me flush against him again, holding me so tight like he's afraid I'll disappear.
“Damn it, Tiana. I want to love you. I want it so bad, it scares the hell out of me.”
I catch his lips in a deep kiss,he kisses me back like he's trying to prove something—his hands clutching my waist like he never wants to let go. His voice is rough against my lips.
“You have me now. All of me. Every goddamn messy, selfish part of it.”
I lay on his chest and after a few minutes,I doze off.
- Writer
