Escaping the Cage

Chapter 1 - Waning freedom

I fly down the path. Wind in my face, arms straight back. If I close my eyes I can almost convince myself I'm a bird. At least until I have to push my board again. When I’m skating I almost feel like I’m okay, like the sun really is warm and the colors really are there. For these precious few minutes. I am free. I check my phone hoping for a message from Sierra only to find one from my demon mother.

“Jay, time to come home. You have jobs to do and you need to study for uni” it reads.

I growl in anger. I struggle to keep my breathing even, not wanting my mothers’ influence to ruin my precious skating time. I kick my board around and skate back towards home; my feeling of freedom waning with every turn of my boards’ wheels.

As I walk in the door of my house I check my phone again, hoping Sierra has bothered to reply to my message. Nothing. I throw my board and my bag in my room and wander into the kitchen. There’s a small mountain of dishes waiting to greet me. Gravy from last nights dinner smiles sadistically at me from the plates. I trudge over to the sink and begin filling it with warm water. Trailing my fingers through the stream of water. At least if I do this now mum won't bite my head off about it later. The sink is now a soapy bath and the one by one I clean the dishes. Gravy smirks give way to shiny white porcelain. If only life was as simple as washing some dishes. I chuckle at the thought that life could ever be simple. “Jay!” Oh brilliant. My mother's home. And she's not happy with something I've apparently done. “Why are you washing the dishes Jay?”. Huh? Didn't she text me to do chores literally 20 minutes ago?

“Uh, you texted for me to come home and do chores right?”

“Yes.But not those chores you i***t. Honestly. Your brother was going to wash the dishes for money. What is he gonna do now Jay?” “I don't know mum. All I know is you asked me to do chores. So I did chores. Sorry.” I grip the edge of the sink until my knuckles turn white. Trying to stop myself from screaming profanities at her. Honestly is this woman f*****g serious. What a joke. Is what I want to say. But instead I smile politely and say “Don't worry about it mum. I'll give Sammy some money”.

“Of course you will! You practically stole it from him by doing the dishes anyway.” my mother replied, her voice taut with anger.

Fuck you, you absolute t**t of a human. I’m your son too you know? “Yeah all good, no worries mum” I hiss as I dry the last plate. I turn and walk towards my room, it’s only a distance of say 20 steps. But in my head it might as well be 20 miles. 20 miles of jail cell. 20 miles of ‘home’. I kick my door open and collapse onto my bed. The satin sheets caressing me softly, like the lover I wish I had. Ugh, I should get onto studying so that I can skate late into the night I promise myself. But I know that in reality I’ll just get distracted by her i********: again. I heave a weary sigh and resign myself to fate. After hours of scrolling post after post, my phone dings. Twice. My heart skips a beat as it goes into overdrive. Sierra? Did Sierra message me? I quickly switch to messenger. Thumbs almost twitching with excitement. “Hey moron, how’ve you been? Also, what did I say about messaging me again when I’m busy?” I can almost feel the pure annoyance that drips from her message. But for some stupid reason, it made me happy that she simply replied. I’m seriously sick. The only things I love are skating and a girl that finds my presence an annoyance. “Hey Sierra, I’ve been getting by. Just cruising through haha. How about you?” I almost drop my phone typing the message because I’m still shaking with excitement. Knowing that I won't get a reply for a couple of hours I grab my board and head for the door. The cool evening air is a salve on my flushed cheeks. A gentle caress that reminds me of where I am. My sadness deepens. You’ll be fine once you start skating buddy. I tell myself. Hoping and praying that it’s true. My board sighs as she glides across the concrete. I am a sailor and she is my ship carrying me over concrete waves. I take a deep breath. Relishing the scent of the cool summer air. I am nothing but a flash of color as my ship carries me faster and faster through this concrete ocean. As I arrive at my destination I snap out of my trance and take in my surroundings. The summer breeze ruffles the hair of tall conifer trees and carries with it the scent of tree bark. Flowers bloom beneath the trees, intertwining to form natures version of an abstract painting. It’s breathtaking, and right in the center of it all stands me. A skater boy loser with nothing to give. What irony. I check my phone telling myself it’s to see what the time is, but as always I find myself checking messenger to see if Sierra even took the time to read my message. Nothing. Should have known. The silence in this place is deafening, forcing me to confront all of my dark thoughts. I begin to skate again, humming the tune of ‘West Coast’ by The Neighbourhood in an attempt to keep my thoughts occupied. My phone rings and I nearly jump off my board in shock, as I swerve to try and keep my balance I struggle to answer my phone, The caller Id says it's my best friend Alex. “Hey Al you goon. What’s up?”

“Jay you skitz f**k. You free Friday night?” His voice slurs and I swear I can smell the alcohol on his tongue. Drunk on a Wednesday evening. Classic Alex.

“Jesus Alex, are you really drunk right now? You absolute unit. Yeah, I should be free why?”

“Mate we are headed to a party. You can meet my friend Georgia. I showed her your i********: and she says you’re pretty hot bro. You’re in”

“Alex man.” I pause. “I don't know about that. You know how I am about Sierra.”

“Bro f**k that chick. She doesn't even you the time of day. Georgia is lovely I promise. At least give her a shot, for me”. That's what I like about alex. He may be a borderline alcoholic. But when it comes to his friends he always does right by them.

“You know what Alex. I’ll do it. For you. Maybe she can rid me of this cursed love” I say jokingly. Secretly wishing it would happen.

“Good man. Hey bro if you ever need to talk. I’m here for you. Don’t give up on me just yet yeah?” I’m stunned into silence. Alex always knows exactly what to say to keep me afloat in my life's stormy sea.

“Don't worry brother. I ain’t going under just yet. I’ll see you Friday.” I choke out. Emotion stealing my ability to speak.

“Awesome, the addy is 9 Westburn Terrace. We’ll all meet at the Maccas down the road and head in together at 9. Full details are in the f*******: group that I just invited you too. Later buddy”

“Sweet as. I’ll check it when I get home. See ya man” I end the call and notice the stars have come out to play. They dance together across the sky. How I wish I could join them up there, free in the cosmos. A symbol of hope for others. One day buddy. One day. I set sail again. My board carrying me home. For the second time today I feel my heart sinking and my sadness growing as I get closer to home. As the moon wanes in the sky above, my heart wanes too. Aching to feel free for one more moment.