SHE STARTED ASKING QUESTIONS

1306 Words
She started with the servants. Not the senior ones. Not the steward or the head housekeeper or any of the people who reported to her father and would report back to him that his daughter was asking questions she had no business asking. She started with the laundry women, because laundry women knew everything and were never asked anything, and because the laundry room was in the east basement where her father never went. Her name was Polla. She had worked in the palace for thirty years and had a cousin who had traveled as far north as the Kern River trading wool. "Vorreth," Polla said, without looking up from the sheet she was folding. "Cold place." "What else?" "Quiet people. Not rude. Just that they don't talk much. My cousin said he passed through a village and the children didn't stare at him the way southern children stare at strangers. They just watched. Like they were waiting to decide." She snapped the sheet flat. "He found it unsettling. I think it sounds sensible." "And the castle? Draven?" Polla glanced at her then. A quick look, up and down, the kind that measured whether a question was idle curiosity or something with weight behind it. She must have decided it had weight. She set the sheet aside and folded her hands. "My cousin didn't go that far north. But there was a soldier who came through here six years back. Fought in the second Vorreth border conflict. He used to drink at the kitchen table with old Marsh before Marsh retired." She paused. "He said the castle was cold in a way that had nothing to do with the stone." Seraphine wrote that down. "What does that mean?" "I'm telling you what he said, my lady. Not explaining it." "Fair." She looked at her notes. "What about the king?" The laundry room went quieter. It had not been loud to begin with, just the sound of women working, but something in that sound changed. Polla picked up the sheet again. "Big man," she said finally. "That's what the soldier said. Not in a soft way. The kind of big that means he's used to carrying something heavy." She smoothed a wrinkle from the linen. "He said the king walked into a room and the room got smaller. Not because of his size. Because of how still he was." Seraphine wrote: stillness. She thanked Polla and went to find the stable master, who had delivered horses to a northern lord three years ago and had passed within a day's ride of the Vorreth border. He told her the roads were good but the inns got worse the further north you went, and that she should bring her own blankets because the northern ones smelled like pine in a way that either you loved or you didn't. She wrote: blankets. She found a palace guard who had a brother in the northern army. He told her Vorreth soldiers didn't celebrate after a victory. They cleaned their weapons, checked their injured, and went to sleep. "Efficient," he said, with the slightly uncomfortable look of a man describing something he respected but didn't understand. She found a cook who had prepared a feast for a visiting northern dignitary eight years ago. The dignitary had eaten everything and complimented nothing. "Not rude," the cook said, almost to himself. " like complimenting the food wouldn't have occurred to him. Like it was a thing that was there and it served a purpose and that was the end of it." She wrote: functional. Unsentimental. By midday she had filled four more pages and had a much clearer picture. Not a complete one. But clearer. Vorreth was a kingdom that had been at war more often than not for a century. Its people had learned to be quiet and watchful because quiet watchful people survived longer than loud comfortable ones. Its king had come to power through violence and held it through something that nobody described the same way twice. Some said it was strategy. Some said it was fear. The soldier in the kitchen had said something else, something Polla repeated to her in a low voice as Seraphine was leaving the laundry room. "He said the king won the Ashwood siege because the enemy broke first. Not because of the cold or the supply lines or any of the things they write about in the histories. Because the king stood on that line for nineteen days in weather that should have killed him and he never once looked like he was thinking about leaving. And eventually the other side looked at him standing there and they just stopped believing they could win." Seraphine had thought about that all morning. A man who could simply outlast things. In the afternoon she went to the library and found the military history again and read it more carefully this time. The first wife was mentioned in a footnote. Her name had been Aelith. She had died in the second year of Kael's reign. The cause of death was not listed. The footnote moved on to a trade agreement. Seraphine sat with that for a long time. A dead wife and no remarriage for thirteen years, and then a political marriage to a princess from a southern kingdom he had certainly never met and probably never thought about. She tried to put herself in his position and found she couldn't quite manage it. She could imagine the cold stone and the quiet court and the years of war. She could not imagine what it felt like to be the kind of person a room got smaller around. She was the kind of person rooms forgot about. She had spent nineteen years being pleasant and careful and contained, and she was very good at it, and it meant that people tended to look past her and speak freely, which was its own kind of power, but it was not the kind that made rooms go small. She wondered what he would make of her. She wondered, more honestly, if he would make anything of her at all. If she would simply be a political arrangement that arrived in a carriage and was installed in a set of rooms and occasionally appeared at his side at formal functions. She had heard of marriages like that. Her own parents' marriage had started that way, though it had softened over the years into something almost warm. She wrote in her journal that evening: What I know: He is large. He is still. He is efficient and unsentimental. He has fought three wars and won them all. His first wife died and he did not remarry for thirteen years. He holds a room without trying. He can outlast things. What I don't know: Everything else. What I need to find out: Whether the stories are exaggerated. What happened to his first wife. What is in the north tower that no one will name directly. Whether he will speak to me or simply around me. What I have decided: I will not be afraid. Or rather I will be afraid and I will do it anyway, which is the only version of not afraid that has ever been available to me. She closed the journal and looked around her room. The walls she had looked at every morning for nineteen years. The window with the view of the garden she was only allowed into with an escort. The bookshelf with the same forty books she had read so many times the spines were soft. Three weeks. She had spent nineteen years in a cage that was too comfortable to call a cage. At least this one would be new. She got up and began to make a list of what to pack.
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