Nothing Between Us

...Now it Begins...

As I reached out to take the ice cream from him, our eyes met, and I couldn't help but notice that he looked at me differently. There seemed to be something on his mind, and I couldn't wait to find out what it was. I yearned for him to open his heart to me and share his deepest thoughts and emotions. I stood there patiently, waiting for his lips to part and for his words to carry on the wind, bringing me solace and clarity. The anticipation was almost unbearable, but I knew that it would be worth the wait. So I waited, with bated breath, for him to speak and bring me the peace of mind that I longed for.

I'm waiting...

I delicately rip the smooth, creamy surface of the ice cream apart, savoring each bite as he intently watches my every move. The cool sensation melts in my mouth, sending shivers down my spine as I indulge in this sweet treat. The biting cold was so intense that it penetrated every layer of my clothing, causing my body to shiver uncontrollably.

Across the room, his lips tugged upwards, first in a hesitant lift, then blooming into a full chuckle. Yet, a flicker of sadness lingered in his eyes, crinkling the corners ever so slightly, like a faded photograph where joy had begun to dim.

Your gaze locked with his, and a jolt of surprise surged through you. The unexpected mix of emotions etched on his face was a captivating portrait. Was it a memory tickling at the edges of his laughter? Or a sorrow intertwined with the warmth of the moment?

Exhaustion settled over me like a heavy blanket as I finished. That night was done. The shower's spray felt like a welcome wave, washing away the day's residue. As I climbed into bed, each tick of the clock seemed deafeningly slow, like a movie on rewind at half speed. My mind replayed everything leading up to that message, and everything after. A single question echoed: Did any of it matter? Was there a flicker of happiness anywhere in that jumble of moments?

*Ding*

I heard a sound from somewhere. I received a message from my ex.

"Good night, Kiara! I know it is probably hard for you to sleep tonight! I am having a hard time too! Do not worry, we can still be friends."

Finishing the text left a surprising echo -- a sense he might be asking for things differently. Now, every notification chime feels amplified, sparking a flicker of ... was it hope or anticipation? *desperate*

*DING* *RING* *DING*

"Hey, how are you feeling?"

Sigh. "I'm okay, don't worry about me anymore. We can stay as friends, but I do need some time alone. After all, we have just broken up!"

"Okay, I understand."

Even after sending the text, he continued to message me for a few days and stopped.

...the days and the nights continue to be the same...

He still hasn't told a soul to me... I'm waiting...

Even when it was just me and him alone in a room, playing pool. I won a couple of games, and so did he. The cousins left since they couldn't sleep over! They had to visit their house in LA. My younger brothers decided to play games on their computer. No one was hanging out with him and I could not leave him alone. He is a guest and, as a person who lives under the house, has to entertain the guest who is visiting. That is the rule of living in an Asian house. Every day, we played pool, played cards, ate, and did a lot of activities together.

I guess that is where I fell for him even more. He was able to handle all of my crazy sides. I have horrible anger issues. I will get mad at every little thing. I am one of the cousins who listens and helps others stop fights and helps them consult with one another. The funny thing is that he helps me with everything I do. Whether I help the kids, play with the kids, or hang out with my girl or boy cousins. He is always there with me. He supports me in everything I do. He made me feel loved and secure as a woman.

Every time I look at him or glance a peek to see what he is up to now. I would find him looking at me. It might just be me though, because he looks at everyone else simultaneously. I do not want to think that he likes me when he really likes me as a cousin.