Alpha Bully – Enemies to Lovers Erotic Romance Novel

Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Zoey

Someone once said, ‘you can’t die from a broken heart, you only wish you did’. Well, they were right, because I would give anything to sink into oblivion right now. My heart feels like it’s been ripped from my chest while being shattered in the process. It’s painful. I’m trapped in an emotional hell.

“What’s wrong, sweetie?” The middle-aged woman beside me asks, her ear buds dangling in her hand. I sigh inwardly. Being trapped three-thousand plus miles in the sky with a bunch of strangers while having an emotional breakdown isn’t a scene I ever envisioned happening to me. I certainly didn’t expect to get thrown pitiful this pitiful stare the woman’s giving me right now.

“Sweetie?”

Oh, my God. Can I just be left alone? I know I keep sniffling and wiping my nose and eyes, but do I have “come talk to me about my problems” stamped on my forehead? Sighing, I wipe my face, giving her a forced smile.

“It’s nothing, really,” I reply.

But from the concern still etched on her face, it’s clear she doesn’t believe me. She leans down for a bag under her seat and fishes a Kleenex out, offering it to me. “Whatever it is, I promise it won’t last forever. My mama always told me; time heals all wounds.”

I take the Kleenex with a genuine smile this time. “Thank you. I needed to hear that.”

The words weren’t a cure for my heartbreak. I still feel like s**t. But it reminds me there’s hope around the corner. One day—someday, I will feel happiness again.

The woman leans her head to the side, assessing me. “Just hang in there. Take it one day at a time. Trust me, you’ll start moving on before you know it.” She gestures with her ear pods. “Now, I’m going back to my movie.”

I respond with another smile, then rest back against the seat and take a slow exhale. With my eyes closed, I try to summon happy memories to tide me over for the flight. But my stubborn, one-track mind remains stuck on reels of Sawyer; him kissing me, teasing me, making me laugh... well, he did make me happy for a while. A short while. But what he did, the way he destroyed me, it cancelled every cherished moment with him. God, I don’t want to think of him anymore.

I’m so stupid. I think that makes it worse. Because how can I be mad when everyone was telling me what a terrible choice Sawyer was? There were so many signs, but I trusted my heart, thinking I would be the girl who could change him. My stupid, dumb-struck heart saw a s*x God and decided nothing mattered more. It told me we could find a way to work. That I could ignore his past, all the differences.

I dab the napkin over my eyes, then ball it up and press both hands to my face. I’m almost home. Once I land, I’ll be fine. I can always breathe easier in Cali. It’s like my happy place. Plus ten. Times ten now that it gives me extra space from Sawyer, my parents, Asher, and the hell that rained down on me in Miami and New York.

One more hour to go, then my feet will be firmly on the ground and ...

And what? It doesn’t change anything. Sawyer cheated with me on his ex. The same ex, in fact, that I was supposed to make jealous by being on his arm as his fiancé. But he didn’t stop there, did he? He couldn’t contain himself, couldn’t keep his hands off her. I was just a short distance away looking all over for him while he and her almost f****d in the room next door.

Tears sting my eyes. I twist on my side, giving the woman my back and turning my gaze to the window, giving the fluffy clouds my undivided attention. This is the world’s longest flight ever. At least, that’s what it feels like. I just want to get to the comfort of my apartment so I can fall apart like I want to without strangers feeling sorry for me.

The flight finally lands, and I’m doing a solid job of keeping my emotions checked until I pull out my phone. There are a few missed calls and a text message from Asher asking if I reached home okay. But there’s nothing from Sawyer. No, ‘I f****d up’ or ‘I need you’, nothing. For two days I held on to hope that he would call and explain what happened in the back room that night. Two days, I kept checking my phone, rehearsing my response, ready to forgive him and move on. But there’s been nothing but silence. Crickets. It’s obvious he has already moved on. The floodgates open and I burst into tears. The cab driver slows down, his eyes meeting mine in the rearview mirror.

“Is everything okay, miss?”

I shake my head. “Don’t mind me, please. I’m just having a bad day.”

He picks up speed once more, and I chucked the phone in my purse and lean against the seat as the tears freely trickle down my cheeks.

When I finally get to the apartment, Tiffany greets me with a long, big hug, even though we were both together in New York last night. Because the airline had overbooking issues, we had to take separate flights to get home. She must have gotten in about an hour before I did.

“Hey, you holding up okay?” she asks.

I shake my head. “You were wrong, Tiff. Sawyer isn’t in love with me. He hasn’t called or texted. He’s not fighting to win me back—”

I burst into tears against her shoulder and she rubs my back in a soothing way that makes me cry even harder. “There, there. Let it all out,” she coos.

“I hate this. I don’t want to keep crying over him, Tiff. How do I make it stop?”

“You love him, so it won’t be so easy. One step at a time, okay?” She eases us apart and wipes my face. “Come on. I have Ben and Jerry’s, pizza and your favorite movie ready to go. And me. Honey, I’ll be here for as long as you need me.”

Her response triggers another round of tears. I cry into her shoulder until my loud sobs reduces to intermittent sniffling. I think I might be out of tears – didn’t even know it was possible. She kisses the top of my head and sighs.

“I’m happy to be your snot rag.” I draw back and swallow the sobs that are still sticky in my throat. She wipes my eyes anyway. “But I agree. I was wrong. Now, it’s time to move on from him.”

I suck my bottom lip and nod, even though thinking of being with anyone else is like having someone hammer nails into my heart. To make up for my pain, Tiffany bundles me in a fluffy blanket and gives me cookie dough ice cream and a spoon. I take a bite of the half melted ice cream and stare at the TV without watching the movie.

All I’m seeing Sawyer, his tousled hair looking like Serena had been running her fingers through it, his eyes still dark with the residue of l**t for his ex. He basically yelled at me and told me to f**k off when I confronted him about his cheating ways. It should take nothing to get over him after what he did, but I’m struggling. I’m a f*****g mess.

“Hey.” Tiffany nudges my knee with hers. “I won’t say anything else, okay, not after this, just hear me out.”

“Okay.”

“You cared about Sawyer and I know that. It’s not going to be easy to get over him, but his silence confirms you deserve someone better, someone who values you, who won’t make you do crazy things like pretend to be his fiancé to make his ex-girlfriend jealous. You deserve a man who will fight for you, and I promise, you will find him one day.”

“I know.”

“And I swear to God, whoever the lucky guy is has to pass a Tiffany level inspection or he’s not getting in your bed. Maybe we could even get you like a chastity belt so you do the thinking with your head instead of your...” She motions to my lap with her spoon. “You know.”

It works. I laugh. I nearly choke on my ice cream, but I laugh all the same. We spend the rest of the night watching throwback TV which makes me feel slightly better because I don’t have all those hijinks to deal with, at least.

The combination of ice-cream, pizza and a few glasses of wine is the sleep inducer I needed. I fall asleep the second my head hits the pillow. After a dreamless night—thankfully—I wake up feeling all of ... zero percent better. Tiffany doesn’t bug me much. She gives me an entire day to wallow and cry, and I take advantage of it, lying curled under the sheets for most of it. But it’s a new day now and she’s already on my a*s, insisting on a shopping trip. Even if we buy nothing, she swears we need to get out of the house.

“I’m not up for it.” I bury my face deeper into the pillow. “Besides, didn’t we shop enough in New York?”

“As if.” She tugs on the sheet, uncovering me. “It’s time to stop wallowing in self-pity. Get your butt out that bed, take a shower and let’s go.” She dumps the sheet on my chair on her way out. “And I won’t take no for an answer, either.”

As shitty as I feel, I’m not in the mood to argue, especially when I have a best friend as determined as she is. So, I get out of bed, and head to the shower. With warm water gliding over my body, revitalizing me, I take some time to think. Tiffany is right. Sitting around and feeling sorry for myself won’t change anything. Even if life sucks right now, crying and feeling sorry for myself won’t fix it. As I stare at the water going down the drain, I decide that every single memory, every thought of Sawyer is going with it. I won’t think of him anymore. I won’t try to find those special moments in our time together that made me think we were more than just a fling. I won’t look back and wonder ‘what if’. I’ll just move on because it’s time. Sawyer doesn’t love me. He never did. And now that I’ve gotten the message, I won’t look back anymore.

Easier said than done, but I’m going to try.

I wrap a towel around myself, get dressed, and join Tiffany downstairs. “Let’s prepare for the new school week in the very best way.”

“There you are.” She hugs me tightly. “I thought you’d gone full ghost mode or something.”

“What do you mean?”

“You know that saying ‘ghost of your formal self’. That’s seriously been you. But this smile makes it all better. Let’s take the town by storm.”

With that fun note, we head to the mall. We try on clothes, buy less than a third of what we try on, get lunch at our favorite Thai restaurant, pick out a few accent pieces for the apartment, drop by a vintage bookstore for a classic I always wanted to read... It’s a montage of an afternoon where we just have a good time, make jokes, and pretend that I never left Cali to begin with.

Today brought everything I needed and then some. Still a long way from my old self, but I haven’t shed a tear all day. Progress. Huge progress.

Until...

Tiffany squeezes my hand when she catches me staring too long at a lingerie store. I couldn’t stop the memory it conjured, now I can’t stop thinking of the time back in Miami when I surprised Sawyer by draping myself with lights dressed in a lingerie for the first time in my life. The pleasant shock on his face made my night, and the way he took me afterwards—

“Hey.”

It takes me an instant to realize Tiffany is nudging me. “Huh?”

“I was asking, do you want us to check out the lighting store? We could probably find a few things to spruce up the apartment even more.”

I shrug. “Why not?”

Tiffany leads the way into the lighting store. It’s darker, black lights and lava lamps lighting up the back. A burnt-orange lava lamp with a volcanic base catches my eye and I reach for the price tag. It costs a brow-lifting penny, but staring at its beauty, I’m quite sure it’s worth every cent.

“I think it would be great in your room.”

“Really? I think it might keep me up.” I eye it up and down carefully. It’s cute though, definitely not the kind of purchase I would make. I’m a simple girl who likes simple things. But maybe, it’s time to step out of my comfort zone.

She bumps my hip with hers. “Treat yourself.”

“I’m tempted, but...”

“But what? Stop second guessing every decision, Zoey. If you like it, get it. Simple.”

After hesitating again, ready to talk myself out of it, I shake my head. No. I deserve this. I deserve anything that will make me smile. Satisfied with my decision, I remove it from the shelf and the cashier bags it, asks for my card, and treats it like a normal day.

Tiffany acts like she’s ready to start a whole party in the store for this one purchase alone. “You did it! I can’t wait to try it out.”

“You’re going to end up in my room more now, aren’t you?” I tease.

She flashes an innocent face and puts her hand to her chest. “Who? Me? Drawn in by something pretty?”

We head home, plug it in and stare at it, waiting for the goo to move in the lamp. She flicks the lamp twice before groaning. “Okay, why isn’t it doing the lava thing?”

“It has to heat up. It can take some time.”

She stares more intently at it as my phone rings in my pocket. I pull it out, check the caller ID and show it to Tiffany. “Think Asher has kind words?”

“If he upsets you, I will be happy to shove this lamp up his ass.” She taps it again. “Whether it works or not.”

I answer the phone and sigh. “Hi, Asher.”

“Hey. I wanted to give you some time to ... settle in.” He hesitates and that tells me more than enough. “How are you?”

“Ask me in a year, or two,” I reply with a dry chuckle.

I’m still embarrassed over Asher being there to witness my humiliation, especially when he had been under my skin the entire time, telling me how wrong Sawyer was for me. If only I had listened, I wouldn’t be in this position trying to pick up the pieces.

“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry this happened to you, Zoey,” he says.

“Really? You didn’t call to tell me ‘I told you so’ again?”

This conversation feels like déjà vu. I remember Asher rubbing it in after he revealed how he paid Sawyer three hundred thousand dollars to stay away from me. Back then, I called him a hater. Now, he’s one hundred percent on point.

“I would never do that, not when I know you’re hurting.”

This is a far cry from the Asher who used to trip me on the stairs when we were kids, and I appreciate how much he’s changed. The silence draws out. I purse my lips, trying to think of anything to say that would suppress the emotion bubbling inside me. But nothing comes to mind. The only thing I want to do is fall apart.

“Zoey—”

“I don’t want to talk about it, Asher, please.” The tremor in my voice seems to carry across the room, because Tiffany looks up at me with concern. “Just... don’t tell Mom and Aaron.” They weren’t too thrilled to find out Sawyer and I had gotten together. As much as they adore Sawyer, they think he’s too wild for me, and this will only prove them right.

“Sorry... I already did.”

“Asher!”

“Listen, Elise called me because she kept getting your voicemail and it slipped out, okay? I didn’t mean to tell her.”

“God...”

Tiffany looks right at me and motions her arm in a giant X while imitating a buzzer. Asher doesn’t hear her or doesn’t care. “Anyway, I just wanted to check in to see how you’re doing.”

“Hanging in there, that’s all I can say.”

“I’m sorry. You will get over him, I promise, and you’re going to find a guy who’s not a douchebag, someone who’s worthy of you.”

“That’s what everyone keeps telling me, so I guess we’ll see. Right?”

“Right.”

“Thanks for not saying I told you so.”

After ending the call, I rest the phone on the coffee table and plop down on the couch, my thoughts already wandering. Throughout our fling I’d held out some hope, I can admit that, some hope that Sawyer wasn’t a complete douchebag. But his actions only proved otherwise.

Sawyer will never step a pinky toe in my life again. He lit the match and burned down the bridge between us.

“Hey.” Tiffany drops beside me then takes my hand and rubs it. “Are you okay?”

“I feel validated, does that count?” Even though I’m fighting hot angry tears. So much for the progress I made today.

“It’s something.” But her attention flicks to the lava lamp. She bounces. “Oh! And so is that! Look, a bubble!”

I let the smile spread over my face and sit down next to her. We both stare at the lava lamp for a while, but the orange goo doesn’t really do anything. Huffing, Tiffany insists on us figuring out dinner and then we compare schedules to see who will be cooking, how to make our cleaning chart, and everything else.

By the time we finish eating Chinese take-out the lava lamp is in full force. Tiffany ignores the TV for it, and I play with her hair while we curl up on the couch. “A watched lava lamp doesn’t bubble I guess.”

But if this silly lamp can go from boring to captivating in a few hours, then I know I can get over Sawyer. I can forget even the best memories and make a life that gets me just as excited and bubbly as the lamp is right now.

I won’t fall into the past. Not for a second, not when I lay down in bed and can’t seem to fall asleep, not in the morning when I’m alone in the kitchen while Tiffany sleeps in.

I’m just planning the future, eager to grab it and make the most of the sanity I still have.

Which means I’m making pancakes, real homemade pancakes that will get Tiffany excited when she finally comes down for breakfast and make me feel a little more like my old self again. I turn on the stove and I can’t help smiling as I turn on some music and put myself to work.

Nothing exists outside of California as far as I’m concerned, and I plan on keeping it that way for as long as humanly possible.