Benjo the Great? (5)
1726 Words
Freedom at last. Sorta.
Since Forhampe's roads are not narrow and winding, our chances of being detected are honestly a mixed bag.
We can take advantage of blending in with the crowd (since people come here to mostly buy flour), but we can also run the risk of being spotted from above due to the fact that most of the houses here have only one floor.
Indeed, the two Anti-Troll Warriors use that topography fact to their advantage. They can throw their knives at us with deadly accuracy and then smile with sadistic glee once it's confirmed they've eliminated their number one eyesores.
To prevent their sharp steel being suddenly implanted into the most vulnerable parts of our bodies, we hasten our run, towards the outskirts of town, back to the wheat fields where the farmers are still preparing for harvest time.
Here, the two curs can no longer avail of the height advantage.
But we still have to tread carefully, as the wheat fields are prime spots for ambushes.
This cat-and-mouse chase drags on for minutes, then hours, to the point that we're close to exhaustion.
Fortunately, I have a solution for that.
I have in my satchel a bunch of Energy Biscuits that are still crisp and loaded with nutrients to keep us going.
While we're hiding in between the tallest of the wheat plants, I take a pack for myself, and give the other pack to him.
Once we munch on them, we can feel the energy flowing back into our bodies.
I direct Benjo to a rudimentary shed in the northeastern corner of the fields, which only has a roof.
And as we land our feet onto the shed...
“DODGE!”
I shout after I've sensed something approaching at supersonic speed.
Once we evade our bodies from the expected trajectory...
Four knives appear in one of the shed's supporting posts a split-second later.
And barely a minute later...
The two Anti-troll Warriors, who should be classified as trolls themselves due to their desire to wreck the lives of their ideological enemies, show up.
And they're in for the shock of their lives.
“What unfair act you've done, escaping my paralysis net that can't be cut by ordinary weapons!”
Linus is obviously surprised and aghast by our escape from their clutches.
To him, I respond...
“Yup. You said ordinary weapons, not weapons that can be summoned by magic.”
Deecuz has his own choice of words.
“Curse you! You may have outsmarted us... BUT WE'LL STILL KILL YOU BOTH IN THE NAME OF THOSE WHO ARE SLAIN BY THIS OPPRESSIVE CRAPSHOW! Furthermore, Mr. Interloping Adventurer, you've certainly caused us a lot of trouble! Maybe we should build a time machine and incapacitate you before you take on this futile job of defending this bastard!”
Man, your logic is so twisted! If you wanted this quest I'm in to never happen in the first place, you two should've filed a complaint with the adventurer's guild, not us!
Even in the face of furious anger, Benjo has a cool, calculated response.
I decide just to let him speak his mind, as he knows better about Forhampian politics than I do.
This means he has somehow moved on from the death of his friends; as he knows his redemption, and theirs, is nearly within his grasp.
“Slow day, eh? Besides vehemently defending that widow and thinking of ridiculous ways to undo our beloved mayor's rule, you've got nothing else on your plate. Hmph.”
Linus vehemently replies...
“Nah, you're clutching straws in the wind. All you think of is a thousand-year Reich that's not going to happen, you good-for-nothing butt-fart. We will not stop to tell the kingdom, to fight the garbage, the true slob you worship. We will not stop to expose your bullcrap. We will not stop talking. We will not sugarcoat anything.”
Deecuz follows up with...
“So sod off, enablers of an evil empire. You are becoming hollow automata. People are becoming disillusioned by the dung-heap you have. How freaking dare you, you reactionaries!”
And Benjo's response?
“That's it? You're spewing out that broken-record idiotic opinion piece with no facts to back it up. As for me, I say... hahaha, OK. And then you supposed anti-troll knights are all 'YOU'RE GRASPING AT STRAWS!! REEEEEEE!!!! OPPRESSORS! OPPRESSORS!'”
I then feel that what they're talking about is no longer about politics, but about the worth of human lives who have differing opinions.
And so, I also speak my mind.
“Listen up, knights. From the way you are acting, it seems you've both lost your way. Yes, it's nice to have an opinion and express it without others getting in your way. That's a freedom this entire kingdom guarantees. But then... if you are reacting negatively to opinions that are opposite to yours, you can't just go on a rampage and kill those of opposite sides outright! They're people like you and me, who have dreams and aspirations in life. Please, I beg you... remember the human.“
The wind blows through the shed, as my diatribe is punctuated by a moment of silence.
And then...
“Remember the human? REMEMBER THE HUMAN?! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Once he supported that mayor, all semblance of humanity in him has been erased.”
Linus answers to me in a way that I can feel his sanity slowly slipping away. I bite back...
“And who has the authority to say that? YOU?!”
Deecuz reacts...
“YES! Because we're the one real and genuine opposition to this blood-soaked regime!”
Ugh. Self-righteous people... they really are the lowest of the low to me.
Even my words couldn't penetrate their already twisted minds.
This makes me remember one of the many moments I share with my girlfriend, Belle Shepparton.
She once told me about her misgivings with those types of people one lazy afternoon.
“Walter... understanding is the key to reconciliation. And the single biggest roadblock to genuine understanding among us... is ourselves.”
“Ah, so you're waxing philosophical today. Tell me more about it, Belle.”
“My father taught me that self-righteousness people, in fear of making themselves look weak to others, put up a pedestal so high that others can't reach it. And that pedestal is their own egos.”
“So in a sense... self-righteous people can't have the power to understand others, because others can't hear their egotistical messages because the pedestals are so high, and those people only hear their own messages from their own positions up above.”
“You're correct. We all have the tendency to be sensitive and defensive whenever something is brought up that hurts our fragile egos. But what we can do to prevent being self-righteous is to destroy the pedestals we produce ourselves before they send us up high, unreachable by anyone.”
“Heh... you know what, Belle? You can be a philosopher someday.”
“Oh, Walter. You're flattering me.”
Empowered by Belle's words...
“The time for words is over, so-called 'Anti-troll Warriors'. Looks like I have to pummel some sense into your thick skulls for you to grow up, kids.”
Once he knows that a fight is coming up, Benjo brings out his Cloak of Invisible Stealth, which he immediately kept once he knew we were being captured.
A two-on-one fight, eh? Good chances for any seasoned adventurer.
The two initiate their insanity-filled rampage with their combined charging attack as they scream...
“DIEDIEDIEIDIEDIEDIE!!!”
They aim to connect their combined fists to my face; and so I counter their attack by clutching their gauntlets together.
“Produ Lakab Sasop.”
I conjure a pair of steel handcuffs that are bound tightly, with no chains in between, to tie the two's hands.
“Produ Lakab Sasop.”
And methodically, I do the same with their other hands.
They're now both incapacitated and unable to fight, with their backs bound to each other as their hands are tied to each other's.
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! CURSE YOU, BENJO! CURSE YOU, ADVENTURER! YOU TWO WILL HAVE YOUR JUST DESSERTS SOMEDAY!”
As if.
One week later.
As the people of Forhampe eventually knew the truth behind the political feud that made beasts out of ordinary men and snuffed some of them in the process, Mayor Wilagun Portanalto immediately resigned from his position and effectively let his defenders go. Coreleia Cojuaquibredus, meanwhile, finally confessed to her crimes of adultery and attempted mariticide and swore never to run in any governmental position in the entire kingdom again as a result. Her own set of defenders, as well as the two Anti-troll Warriors, turned themselves in to the constabulary for being accessories to the crimes that led to the brutal murders of then-mayor Portanalto's defenders, as well for covering up Mrs. Cojuaquibredus' own crimes.
With the mayoralty seat of Forhampe left in a vacuum, His Highness the King enacted a temporary transitional council that will take over the leadership of the town until the next mayor is chosen, who must be unaffiliated with the two disgraced former candidates.
The souls of the lives that were taken as a result of the political fallout in Forhampe can now rest in peace.
As for Benjo, whose full name is Benjo Ronquillus...
He's currently writing his first book, which is a horror novel about vengeful spirits of victims of politically-motivated killings, seemingly inspired by the now-resolved controversy.
He now lives in a nice-looking house, and not the shoddy underground shelter.
As he hands me a handsome reward of 75,000 guintos for a completed quest...
“This is all I have from the former mayor. Go take it. Spend it in a way much better than I did.”
“I normally can't accept money that comes from politicians, directly or indirectly; but since he's no longer in power, I guess I can take it.”
“Well, you should know by now that I'm starting a clean slate as you suggested. I'll earn honest money via honest entertainment.”
“But don't skip the milk tea.”
“With a balanced diet and exercise, of course.”
We both give off light-hearted chuckles by this honestly corny joke.
1019-567, “They're Hunting Me Down!”
Quest complete.
- Writer
