The Adventurous Vagrant

Surrounded (4)

“Haha. You have a great memory, Perrina. Guess it's time to finish my story, since it's confirmed we're both safe for now. Heck, we can even spend the night here. And now, the conclusion.”

One week later...

Belle ran to me with a hint of disappointment on her face.

“Walter... the reason I ordered this much at the restaurant a week ago... is that I wanted my chest to be bigger!”

My heart skipped a beat with that confession.

“I... I thought you would be disappointed by what the Most High gave me!”

What in the Most High was she saying?

I never once objected to the size of her breasts.

They're not small, but they're not big, either.

To that, I reply, while also hugging her, feeling her heartbeat beneath her rack.

“Why worry about that, Belle? You're still you. And I love you for the way you are. So don't worry if you want your... what should I call them... jugs? Orbs? Darts? Gourds? Odes to joy?”

“I don't care what you call them. What's important is...”

“Please don't worry too much about your chest. I don't care if you want to make it bigger... just... don't lose sleep over that, OK?”

“OK. Thank you.”

Perrina has only this to say...

“W-Walter... hearing that... makes me think about mine... T-The reason they're after me... is because of my small chest. They're... specifically chasing after flat-chested girls, claiming them to be status symbols of youth. And that fact makes them much more creepier than they ever look.”

“How'd you draw such conclusion?”

“I-I learned about it... five months ago... when I saw another girl run, crying, towards the town's local constabulary precinct. I got a glimpse of her body... and she was indeed flat-chested.

“Months have passed, and the incidents of flat-chested girls getting... tainted... multiplied... a-and the constabulary had to do something, but they couldn't get even a solid lead on who are the real perpetrators.

“I-I knew I would be targeted, too, because of my appearance. S-so... I had to do some hide-and-seek... and... and...”

She bursts into tears, and I know what she would be saying next if not for her breakdown.

She was almost accosted by these five guys.

And in her moment of desperation... she had to rely on the protection of an adventurer to end her nightmare... and those of the other girls affected, directly or not.

Naturally, I have to console her.

And it's getting dark, too.

As the moon shines on the shack's lone opening that is clearly meant to be a window, we feast on a simple dinner of liver sauce (that is, chopped pork liver and spices that are then pureed into a thick and savory sauce) over rice cooked over bamboo tubes we found in a corner of the shack earlier.

So... I have to shield her from these five presumable deviants, huh?

And I can see them coming.

Once the shack's door opens...

Tyrone and his posse appear.

Naturally, I have to shield Perrina from them.

But something's not right with them.

Their eyes are not filled with a perverted desire to mangle a girl's virginity. And their muscles are less pronounced.

Sure, they are all five tall, dark, and handsome men, all wearing the same white shirts and white short pants.

But those minute differences... and the way Tyrone the leader speaks...

...makes me think something's fishy.

“P-Please listen to us... we're not going to hurt you.

“I'm the real Tyrone Reylaw, and my buddies are the real articles, too. Recently, there have been reports of five persons who look like us that prey on flat-chested girls, and the reports keep piling up in the local constabulary precinct's records.

“Even worse, once the people in Vetev are somewhat panicking over those reports, those five perverted good-for-nothings suddenly kidnapped us and imprisoned us in another shack right here in Domagoso Prairie. They did it to besmirch our reputation.”

I answer with the highest level of sincerity...

“Then who are you, really?”

“We are refugees of a nearby land, the now-former Confederacy of Xhierra, that borders your Kingdom of Lebenswasserheim. We say now-former because it is no more, as the land we came from is currently embroiled in a seemingly endless civil war between government troops, rebels, and rabid theocrats.

“We are of the black-skinned Koryun race, which has unfortunately dwindled in number as a result of this tragic civil war. Our brethren tried to escape this now-forsaken land via many means. Some were lucky that they settled as refugees and are starting over from scratch in other places like your benevolent kingdom. Others... didn't make it.”

Perrina steps up, knowing that what the real Tyrone is saying rings also of truth. The sordid one.

“T-Then... it must be all the more reason for you five... to be cleared of your apparent crimes against Vetev's women. I... I honestly fell sorry for you. I, Perrina Befana, will make sure that your impostors will be swiftly brought to justice.”

“Justice?! Hah! What a petty word!”

The five aggressors from earlier suddenly barge into the shack, which alarms both us and the five refugee men.

Naturally, the real five are outraged by what the fake five did to them.

“Grr! You stole our identities and then used them to justify your sleaziness! We know you and your plans, because you just can't get laid.”

The real Tyrone speaks thus. Responds the fake Tyrone...

“Oh, please. We simply can't get laid because girls simply don't notice us. We're all approaching 30 and don't have girlfriends yet. We would be laughingstocks of this town if we can't get a girl into bed and say yes to us all.”

“Why in a hurry to get married? Remember that love knows no age. So if you're that desperate to have a life partner, have patience.”

“Hmph! Who cares about patience, too? What's important to us is that we are riding on the reputations of black-skinned people being... you know... well-endowed.”

“How dare you! Propagating that supposed stereotype... is not good for us. And you know what else should not be classified as stereotypes... your views on women. For example, if you apparently believe in gender equality then say women should be forced to ask men out? That's not equality! It's called being a jerk to society!”

“Hah! Digging up more dirt on us, uh? Well then... let's see who's blacker than black!”

“It's on, psycho rangers!”

Five against five.

Each real and fake black guy go head to head against each other in each individual duel, testing their fighting abilities and their resolves.

Naturally, Perrina and I are fence-sitters here.

But obviously, we're on the side of the real guys – the men who wanted quiet lives but had their identities stolen by dorks who have narrow-minded views on women.

It's a somewhat long and tough battle; but in the end...

The real five prevail over the fake five, with their impressive take-downs and pins.

As the battle draws to a close, three roving constabulary officers who are patrolling the prairie enter the scene. One of them exclaims...

“Aha! These are the five s****l predators we've been hunting down for months! Only that... there are clones?”

I reply to the officers...

“Oh, that? You should know that genetic cloning doesn't exist yet. But what exists... is this.”

I wisely pull the faces of the fake guys who are still being pinned down by the real ones...

...and they reveal real, pasty-white to light-brown complexions, hidden by latex masks that eerily resemble the faces of the real McCoys.

Another of the roving officers reacts...

“Wait a minute! These are the guys we've been looking for in the past year! They're notorious for conducting gang-rapes against women with flat chests and have been stalking town after town for them! Alright, then. You five impostors are finally under arrest for multiple accounts of rape and false personation! And I'll bet a million guintos that you'll be all sent to maximum security, if you know what I mean!”

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

But elsewhere, the victims will be shouting big “Yes”es.

The next day.

Back in Vetev.

We've received information direct from the town's local constabulary precinct chief about the five impersonators.

They are identified as the following.

Zadis Tixx, the leader of the crew, impersonated Tyrone Reylaw.

Kouja Riocallos impersonated Aris Lotres.

Parado Sicallio impersonated Brock Ballath.

Erono Tikkuji impersonated Heimdall Maveep.

Kardaskarm von Riesig XIX impersonated Ragnarr Grandscream.

Right now, the five Koryun refugees, as they prefer to be called, Perrina, and I are seeing the five sleazebags being sent to a carriage that will take them to jail.

“We would have gotten away with getting laid again... IF IT WEREN'T FOR YOU MEDDLING KIDS!”

Says the five who are obviously childish in their world view.

As the five suspects are being taken away, I ask...

“So... what will you do now?”

Tyrone readily answers...

“We'll settle here in Vetev for good. And Perrina here... will help us in our planned business.”

“What's that?”

“Making sculptures and figurines. The abundance of hardwood here in this town calls for a potential town specialty.”

Perrina adds...

“In fact, we've all agreed on our very first project.”

I'm quite curious.

“I'd like to know more about it.”

Tyrone readily answers. Again.

“A figurine depicting the five of us surrounding cute little Perrina.”

“W-WHAT?!”

I guess... the five want to profit off their supposed notoriety.

But if they'll be earning honest money doing an honest living, who cares?

1019-949, “Surrounded”

Quest complete.