Pink Hair Don't Care

* Epilogue *

25...

25 percent of a century...

Half of a quinquennium...

5x5...

My age... Just a number, as empty as my life has been till now.

Working at a desk job in a common office, not doing what I love for fear of failure...

Hiding myself in shades of grey clothes, hiding my body in loose fabrics for fear of calling too much attention... Fear of being misinterpreted... Fear of being judged...

Keeping everyone at distance for fear of being hurt again...

Fear...

Living a meaningless life for fear...

That's it...

I'm done with that.

It's Friday, midnight of the last day of May, day an hour of my birth. I'm soaking at the bathtub when a realization strikes me:

I could end it, right now!

I can see as clearly as if I were really there, two identical roads. Each one pointing to a complete different direction. Life and death. Going out of the bathtub and keep living life my small grey-ish life or... Cutting the creamy delicate skin of my wrist with the razor...

Huge choice.

Massive consequences...

I don't want to kill myself... But I can't keep living like this anymore.

I wanted my life the way I know it to end.

If I only could start it over... 

I stare at the ceiling where I recently glued three whole packages of phosphorescent stars... 

Wondering... 

Wishing upon each one of them...

If I could only die and be born again... 

Knowing that I need to be fearless if I want to truly live.

In my mind I see a third road appearing inchmeal... A third choice... A path in the middle... To die and to be reborn... Cheating death. Finally living with no fear.

The constant pressure at my chest softened, my heart was accelerated, a rush of adrenaline shook my body. I knew exactly what to do.

This night I die...

An image flashed through my mind. Smiling faces in a blur... They cheered for my choice.

It's time... 

We all said at the same second.

My voice was the only one echoing at the white tiles in the walls.

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