Born This Way

Chapter 13

A few months later

I was back home cleaning Fazel’s room and sorting out her stuff. It’s been 3 months since she passed on and it feels like it was just yesterday. My heart longs to talk to her one more. So, I come across a box that's covered in different colour papers seemed more like rainbow colours so I turn it around and these words are on it:

'I am who I am.' I sit down and open it.

The first thing I see is a picture of her and a girl romantically holding hands and kissing. I was a bit confused so I started looking through the other stuff and I find tons of pictures of the girl and Fazel, from time to time she held a baby in It’s weird because I saw a girl at Fazel’s funeral who looks just like the girl I'm seeing in these pictures with the baby. At the funeral she cried so much I thought they were best friends but she looked like a guy. I went through more stuff and I saw a letter on it read 'to whom it may concern'

I never knew Fazel wrote poetry till now.

“Dear significant other you keep me sane

I Contemplate on life without you

You're the reason for my glow

You're the reason my smile muscles pull so uncontrollably.

I am intoxicated by you, you silence my demons

Self expression is impossible because of society

If society was a person, I'd personally crucify him

I'm sinning but isn't fornication a sin too? Why is my love classifying a sin when heterosexuals commit vile things but they are never seen as sinners or rather emphasized as my love is?

My mother chose religion over me and I'm Sorry God, but how do Christians walk around praising and worshiping you talking about how judgment should cease but they are the ones tormenting me with words bigger than stones?

I changed for the worst.

To whom it may concern

I'm a sinner above all sinners.

A tear dropped down my cheeks and I cried for a while. This means Fazel was gay all this time but she scolded me for trying to express my love for the same gender. I wiped my tears and stood up. “Mom! Mom uhm the girl that was at Fazel’s funeral the white tall lady who is she?" I asked walking to her. “Oh, Ellen she was very close to Fazel”. “How close?" I asked. “Why? I don't know" she replied. “Do you have her number?" “Yes. You want it?"

“Please". “Okay take my phone and look for 'Ellen, you'll find the number" she said

I quickly did as I was instructed and found the numbers.

I dialled the numbers as soon as I found them and went to my room.

Phone rings

Me: Hey is this Ellen?

Her: Yes, who is this?

Me: Its Gabriella, Fazel's-

Her: younger sister?

Me: yes, yes, can we meet I have some questions and I need answers

Her: Yeah sure tell me where and when

Me: Downtown at 'The Eat' later on Today? Round about 6pm?

Her: Sure, see you then.

Me: thanks bye

Her: bye.

I was busy with my assignment so I quickly finished it and got ready. I had My Nike Sneakers on Chino pants and long ass armless top and a beanie. Later, I got there and I saw her sitting alone in the corner she already ordered a drink. “Sorry I'm late I was a bit busy with my assignment, Hi I'm Gabriella “I introduced myself.

She stood up smiling. “I'm Ellen, Ellen Hemsworth. Nice to finally meet you Gabriella" she said and I smiled.

“Good afternoon I'm Charlie I'll be your waitress for today, here are your menus. Would you like something to drink?". She said standing looking at me.

“Can I have a strawberry hibiscus please "I asked “Coming right up " she said walking away. “Fazel’s favourite drink, she would always order strawberry hibiscus when we go out" she said and I smiled. “She loved it, didn't she" I said and she nodded “So you both were close?" I asked. “Yes. To be quite honest she was my partner I loved her deeply it was a secret relationship mainly because your mother was so religious.". “Fazel was really gay..." I trailed. “She was indeed" Ellen added. “So, can you tell me why did she go all hysterical when she found out I was gay?" I asked. “The thing with Fazel is she never wanted you to go through the pain she went through she really cared about you and she wanted you to change and she put on an act because your mom didn't know she was gay." She said. “This really confused me when mom told me she was gay but she changed ". “Yeah. She told me everything, please be strong its hard out there" Ellen said. “I'm trying plus being a stud isn’t easy. How long did you guys date?". “We dated for 4 years but we officially signed papers a year ago. I'm basically a widow. I was legally married to Fazel and she took my surname. She was Fazel Hemsworth"