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Final chapter: Reality

It has been five years since the incident. I was in prison on death row for my crimes. Turns out I have a disorder that makes me hear things and a voice that gives commands to do things that no one else hears. They are horrible disturbing things that no one should be able to hear. I have many other things wrong with me that make it impossible to live a life without supervision and extreme amounts of therapy and pills. I wasn’t happy in the normal world outside of a prison, and I’m not happy where I am now. Luckily today is my last day on this planet because of what I did. If you need to know what I did, I killed both of my kids and buried them under my trailer because the voices told me to. The voice told me that everyone around me deserved death. My husband, Jason, was almost killed if it wasn’t for the fact that he was at work when I started to listen to the voice. That is what happened that day, I decided to listen to the voice. I let that other part of me run wild and killed my children, my house monitor who was rapping me for years as I suffered in silence named Dominick, and several children who ran wild around the neighborhood. They ran like how my mind wanted to. My mind didn’t want to be chained to pills and having to think a certain way anymore, it wanted to be free. I wanted to be free. I kept all those people that I killed under the trailer, right under the hole in the floor that I created one day so that I could pull my bed over it at certain times of the day to have freedom. That is all I wanted. Freedom. And now I will get freedom once I have gone through the forced death that society has put on me for wanting to be free. The first morning here already was the start of my freedom that I so desperately needed. I was away from the other people that were free. I was away from them because they were afraid of me, but for me that didn’t seem to matter. I got what I wanted. The voice in my head got what it wanted and for once I was happy. Me and the voice in my head don’t feel remorse for what I did. The other people that made me feel trapped should feel bad for what they have done. They are the reason that I am a monster that I am. They are the reason that I can no longer function in society and that I am not allowed to be in public anymore. They are the reason that I have to be put to sleep like some sick animal. I was forced to remain strapped to a wheelchair the day of my execution. I was wheeled into the room that I would then be put to sleep in for wanting to be free. The lower half of the room was headache inducing blue tiles that were paired with the upper half of the room being a painful stainless white wallpaper. The room was set up like a hospital, except the wall that was a window with people peering through it. I couldn’t believe people wanted to watch me die. I didn’t do that to the people that I murdered. I gave them the common courtesy and placed them under the trailer while they were still alive. They died within a day or two after that because they were close to death when they were placed down there. I went several days afterwards without sleep because I could hear them breathing because of it. These people couldn’t let me die alone. What a shame, even close to death I am trapped and cannot be free. I wasn’t allowed to use the bed in the room. They kept me strapped to the wheelchair for me to die. The people in the room asked for my last words as they were setting me up for the end of my life. I told them, “I had nothing to say.” I had nothing to say because I knew my actual final words would fall onto the wrong ears and then they would be pointless. What I wanted to say was, ‘ I don’t want to be trapped anymore. Bury me without a coffin, without a rose, without anything, I just want the last thing Rustina touched with me because that shows the last time I was free and I want to cherish it .’ Like I said, it wouldn’t be heard by the people that needed to hear it. The People then brought the needle over to me. The needle that they used to put me to sleep. They placed it in the applicator that was plugged into my arm. They put the venom in my body and then removed the applicator and the needle from me. After that they waited for me to fall asleep, knowing that I will never wake up again. I sat in the chair and waited too. I didn’t feel any effects of the poison at first, but then the voice in my head started to get louder and I started to fall asleep. All that I could hear was breathing. I started to fight it because all that I could hear was breathing. Eventually, I got to the point that I couldn't fight it anymore and I started to fall asleep. I fell asleep to the sound of breathing. They're breathing.

THE END