I MARRIED MY ENEMY FOR REVENGE

The Old Wound

I barely slept after Shadric left my room.

Every time I closed my eyes, the heavy rhythm of his voice echoed through the quiet corners of my mind.

"You're in far more danger than you realise."

"Stay away from Ryan."

None of it made any sense.

For years, my Life had been built on absolute certainty.

Hating Shadric was easy. It was simple. It gave me a clear villain to blame for the shattered pieces of my younger self.

But last night, he hadn't sounded like the arrogant, careless boy I remembered. He hadn't sounded manipulative. He hadn't sounded like a man trying to win an argument.

He had sounded genuinely afraid.

That was the part my mind refused to let go of.

The morning light slipped through the curtains, painting pale streaks across the floorboards.

It did absolutely nothing to lift the heavy weight pressing against my chest.

I lay there for almost an hour, staring at the ceiling, exhausted from spending the entire night chasing my thoughts in circles.

Then my phone buzzed against the nightstand.

Ryan.

Just seeing his name on the screen made something twist deep inside my stomach.

I watched it ring for several seconds, my hand refusing to move.

Finally, I answered.

"Avalan?"

His voice came quickly, almost breathless, as though he had been waiting all morning for me to pick up.

"You hung up on me last night."

I slowly sat up, swinging my legs over the side of the bed while rubbing my forehead.

"I know. I'm sorry. Things got... chaotic."

"You didn't sound okay," he said in a softer voice.

There it was again. That familiar concern and voice I used to run to whenever everything else fell apart.

But now, with Shadric's warning echoing inside my head, I found myself paying attention not just to Ryan's words, but to the spaces between them.

"I'm fine," I said quietly, staring down at my bare feet.

Ryan let out a slow breath.

"You don't sound fine, Avalan."

He paused.

When he spoke again, his voice had dropped almost to a whisper.

"Was he in the room with you?"

My silence lasted barely a second, but it was enough to give him a response.

"That guy seriously has no boundaries," Ryan snapped, the irritation in his voice breaking through his usual calm.

It didn't sound protective. It sounded rather possessive.

The thought made my brows pull together.

"He only came upstairs to talk about the wedding," I said. "It wasn't a big deal."

"To manipulate you," Ryan corrected immediately.

The response came too quickly and was calculated, as if he had already decided what had happened before I had even spoken.

"Ryan..."

"No, listen to me."

His voice became firm.

"You're letting him get inside your head. You're forgetting what he did to you. You're forgetting how he ruined everything."

And just like that...

The floodgates opened.

The memories came crashing back with such force that my breath caught painfully in my throat.

The suffocating heat of the school corridors. The whispers behind locker doors. The mocking laughter. The crushing humiliation that made me wish I could disappear. The heartbreak that stayed long after everyone else had moved on.

Back then, the entire school seemed to move around Shadric.

He was the centre of gravity wherever he went. Girls followed him in herds. Teachers overlooked things they would have punished anyone else for. Even the boys who disliked him couldn't stop talking about him.

And me?

I was just the quiet girl who had been foolish enough to fall for him from a distance.

At first, it had been harmless. Just an innocent crush I kept hidden inside my journal.

A secret I intended to carry alone.

Until the afternoon, Ryan found out.

"You should just tell him."

I remembered looking up from my lunch, nearly choking.

We were sitting behind the old gym, sharing a bag of chips while pretending to work on a history assignment neither of us intended to finish.

"Absolutely not," I had whispered, my face burning.

"Are you insane? I would literally rather die."

Ryan laughed and bumped my shoulder.

"Avalan, come on."

"You look at that guy like he personally invented the sun."

"It's pathetic."

"I do not."

"You literally forget how to breathe every time he walks past."

I shoved him, trying to hide my embarrassment.

"Shut up."

"You're annoying."

Back then, Ryan had been my safe place.

When home became unbearable because my parents were arguing again, I would text him. When school overwhelm me, he reminds me to breathe.

Around him, Life always felt lighter.

Later that same afternoon, Ryan stared across the courtyard toward Shadric.

"You know..."

"I think he notices you too."

"I've caught him looking over here."

I laughed immediately.

"Shadric doesn't even know I exist."

"He does."

"Trust me."

Something about the certainty in Ryan's voice planted a tiny, dangerous seed of hope inside me.

And the worst part? I wanted to believe him.

For weeks afterwards, every accidental glance from Shadric felt meaningful. Every time our shoulders brushed in the hallway, I would replay it over and over, convincing myself there had to be something more.

Then, everything fell apart.

Even now, remembering that day makes my stomach twist painfully.

I had spent the entire morning panicking because Ryan had finally convinced me to write Shadric a letter.

"It isn't a big deal," he had insisted.

"Girls do it all the time."

"He'll think it's sweet."

It wasn't supposed to be dramatic.

Just an honest note telling him I liked him, and asking if he would like to get coffee sometime.

I could still remember sitting in the cafeteria, folding and unfolding that blue sheet of paper until the edges became worn.

Ryan watched with an amused smile.

"You've rewritten it twenty times."

"Just give it to him."

"It sounds stupid."

"I sound like an idiot."

"It sounds sincere."

"That's a good thing."

"No."

"It's worse."

"Sincere means vulnerable."

Ryan laughed quietly and draped an arm over my shoulder.

"Trust me."

"He's going to love it."

Looking back now, I realised there had been signs.

Tiny ones.

The smile that never quite reached his eyes. The split second he looked away before meeting my gaze again. The way he suddenly became interested in his phone.

I should have noticed, but I didn't, because I trusted him completely.

By lunchtime, panic had completely taken over.

"I can't do this," I had whispered, shoving the letter back toward my backpack.

"I'm throwing it away."

Ryan reached over and snatched it before I could.

"You're overthinking again."

"Ryan."

"Give it back."

"I mean it."

"I'll give it to him."

He had this mean and dangerous look on his face for a second, but I didn't think much of it.

"It'll save you the panic attack."

My stomach tightened in fear.

"No."

"Ryan, stop."

But he had already stood.

"A little confidence wouldn't kill you."

"Relax."

"I've got your back."

Then he walked away, holding the most vulnerable piece of me in his hand, while I remained frozen at the lunch arena, caught somewhere between hope and absolute terror.

I remembered waiting for Ryan by the lockers after class.

Ten minutes passed—then twenty, and thirty.

Ryan never showed up.

But the whispers did.

At first, I ignored them, convincing myself that people were just being cruel, as they always were.

Until the atmosphere changed.

Students began turning to look at me. Some pointed while Others whispered behind their hands. A few laughed openly, their eyes glued to their phones as they showed each other something I couldn't see.

Confusion slowly gave way to a cold, suffocating panic.

I stood from the bench, my chest aching so badly that it hurt to breathe as more and more eyes settled on me.

Then I heard it.

"That's her."

A girl standing a few feet away whispered loudly enough for everyone around her to hear.

"That's the girl."

Another burst of laughter exploded beside me.

"Oh my God... she actually thought a guy like Shadric would ever look at someone like her? The delusion is insane."

Heat rushed to my face so violently it felt like my skin was burning.

Even now, I can still remember that exact feeling. That terrifying moment when you know your Life has just fallen apart, before you even understand why.

I pushed through the crowd, my legs trembling beneath me as I followed the noise toward the courtyard.

A huge crowd had gathered on the stairs. And standing right in the middle of it was Shadric.

He looked completely caught off guard.

My feet stopped moving.

Ryan stood only a few feet away from him, half-hidden among the students.

But now, looking back with eyes no longer clouded by years of hatred, I noticed something that stole the air from my lungs.

Ryan didn't look shocked. He didn't even look angry at me. He looked nervous.

Very nervous.

His eyes kept darting around the crowd.

He was sweating. And he looked everywhere, except at me.

"What's happening?" I had asked, my voice so small it barely sounded like mine.

The moment I reached the front, the crowd parted.

Someone lifted my blue letter into the air.

It was unfolded and open. Crushed between the fingers of one of Shadric's friends.

Everything inside me went numb.

The laughter became deafening.

"She wrote him an entire love letter!"

"Read the poem again!"

"She actually thinks they have a connection!"

I couldn't breathe. The courtyard blurred. Faces melted together in my eyes. Phones were pointed toward me. I heard people laugh, and some were already recording.

I looked straight at Shadric.

I expected smugness, cruel satisfaction, a bully enjoying the moment.

But, I didn't find any of it.

Even now, years later, remembering his face still makes me curious.

He looked genuinely confused.

His mouth was slightly open. His eyes kept moving from the letter to me, then back to the letter again, as he had walked into something he didn't understand, like he hadn't seen it coming either.

"Avalan!"

Ryan's voice broke through the noise.

He sounded panicked. He even reached toward me.

But I couldn't take his hand.

I couldn't hear anything over the roaring inside my head because all I could see was Shadric standing there.

He hadn't stepped forward. He hadn't stopped them. He hadn't said a single word. He just stood there while my entire world collapsed.

I was the frightened seventeen-year-old girl. His silence felt like a verdict.

Silence meant agreement. Silence meant he thought I deserved it. Silence meant he was laughing with everyone else, even if he never actually smiled.

Tears blurred my vision.

I turned and ran.

I ran straight through the school gates, the sound of laughter following me all the way home.

An hour later, someone uploaded a video of me crying.

After that, nothing was ever the same.

I quit the track team. I stopped attending school events. I withdrew from everyone.

Everyone except Ryan.

Ryan came to see me every day. He reminded me how cruel Shadric was. How heartless he was, and how inhumane of him to have humiliated me that way.

"...Avalan?"

Ryan's voice suddenly pulled me back to the present.

"Are you still there?"

I blinked hard.

The school courtyard disappeared.

The quiet morning outside my bedroom window slowly came back into focus.

I hadn't even realised my fingers were gripping the windowsill so tightly they had gone numb.

Slowly, I sat back down on the edge of the bed.

My throat felt painfully dry.

"Yeah," I whispered.

"I'm here."

"You went quiet again," Ryan said, his voice returning to that familiar, comforting calm.

"I know this wedding is putting you under a lot of pressure. But don't forget who has always been in your corner, okay?"

He paused.

"I'm the only person who never lied to you."

A chill ran through me.

For the first time since the incident, the memory that had shaped my entire adulthood no longer felt complete.

It was as if someone had quietly torn a piece out of it.

I couldn't see the missing part yet, but I could feel its absence.

It wasn't enough to rewrite the past. Not yet. But it was enough to leave a deep, sickening unease sitting in the pit of my stomach.

For years, I had blamed Shadric without question. Without doubt. But now another question refused to leave me alone.

If Shadric never knew about the letter, then how did it end up in his friends' hands?

Why had Ryan looked nervous before the crowd even turned on me?

And why, out of everyone standing in that courtyard, was Ryan the one still holding the empty envelope?