All the Devils are Here

Security Dogs

Fallon

I'm splashing some water on my face in the bathroom when I hear a knock on the door. 

"Fallon it's me", Rainer says. I go to open the door for him. His face is covered in the same bewildered expression he had outside;

“What happened out there? You could have killed it”, he says as he strides into the room

“It didn’t attack me”

“It killed three people, Fallon. Or are you not a hunter anymore? Is that it?”, the tone of criticism is heavy in his voice. I walk around him and shut the door which he conveniently left open.

“It’s fine, I don’t expect you to understand”. I genuinely don't expect Rainer to understand. As a Sentinel, he probably hasn't ever been the one to take the life of anything. He does the digging, he provides the intel, he goes undercover and makes many many false promises. But he doesn't have to be the one to give the final blow. To kill. He didn't have to go through watching someone you love becoming the one thing you've always been thought to hate. I walk past him back to the bed but opt to sit on the floor and lean my back against the bed instead.

“Try me”, he says. I look at him hesitantly but, I can see he really wants to hear what I have to say.

“What if we’re wrong Rainer? What if we’ve been wrong this whole time about them. You didn’t see it, it had a purpose. It knew what it was doing despite the full moon.”,

“I know what this is about. But werewolves are dangerous. You have no guarantee that it wouldn’t have attacked you if we stayed there any longer than we did”,

"I'm just saying, what makes a werewolf so dangerous? The fact that they are out of control especially during a full moon right? But what if they can control who they attack",

"Like security dogs", he says mockingly. I roll my eyes and look away;

"Hey, I'm kidding", he says and sits beside me on the floor as he continues speaking;

"This hypothesis has been tested. Wolves with packs have methods they use to control themselves during a full moon but, many of them don't belong to a pack. Even those in packs, it's not a guarantee that they can be in so much control. And we are the victims they use for control practice. There's no angle to look at this from where they're not f*****g dangerous.",

"But that's not what I want to know. You froze.........like you're in this world of your own and I just want to help. Let me help you, Fallon. Please”. I summon the courage to admit what I haven’t been able to;

“I don’t know what I’m doing”, I whisper; “I thought this would have been what Luca would have wanted me to do. Did you know? He was going to leave a week before he got turned. And I keep thinking that if I carry a piece of him with me and I try to be more like he wanted then he’d forgive me. But I’m…..nothing without the compound. My whole life has revolved around one thing for so long I don’t know how to be anything else. It's like there's this void.”, the look of pity and hurt is all over his face and I hate that but, I've opened this wound and I can't stop myself when my voice breaks and my eyes well up in tears.

“Come here”, he says and engulfs me in a hug as we sit side by side on the ground. I wipe my wet eyes on his shoulders and try to control my breathing so I don't cry.

“You are so much more than the compound. You’re so much more than the next Hunter leader. And Luca knew that. I’ve always known that”, he’s whispering into my hair;

“Do you think I should go back?”, I ask as we release from the hug but our faces are only inches apart;

“Whatever you choose to do, Fallon. My loyalty is to you. It always has”, his voice is so low and the sincerity of his words have an effect on me that I haven't felt in a long time. We move at the same time. To a place of familiarity; each other’s lips. My hands are tucked away in his shirt and he holds my face firmly. It’s not a hungry kiss, it’s slow and lasts for only a few seconds before we both lean away but still stay close;

“If you do choose to stay, you have to leave this motel though. It’s not what you need right now”,

“Believe me I’d love to but getting a job is harder than I thought it would”,

“Emily has a spare room”, I lean further away now;

“Are you two together?”, wouldn't be the first time we've kissed while he had a girlfriend. Not that I'm proud of it.

“No”, he replies without hesitation.

“Are you sleeping together?”,

“Why should it matter?”,

“I don’t want to be crashing for free at the house of someone who’s clearly into you. I don’t want to start anything”, I say as I stand up.

“We’re not having s*x. We just work together. And you need to be out of this place. She offered”, he mimics my movement and stands up too.

“I guess it's not such a bad idea then. You should -”, before I finish my statement, he puts his hands up in surrender and completes it for me;

“Get going. I know. I’d be next door though. Incase”, an invitation. I nod and he proceeds to leave the room. Before he walks out I say;

“Goodnight, Rain”, mocking Emily’s nickname for him. He chuckles and waves goodbye as he leaves. I have no intentions of taking up his invitation to his room but, I must admit I feel a lot better than I did before. Maybe it's the buzz of the alcohol in my system that's making all my feelings intense.

Before, I collapse on the bed and attempt to sleep, I shoot Sam a text telling him I got home safe.