All the Devils are Here

More of Him

The elevator doors shut close with the both of us inside. I don't know what it is but, there's a way he looks at me that makes me feel.....guilty. Did he see Asher and I go up the stairs? Did he think something happened? Why should it even matter?! I don't know why I'm thinking about such insignificant things. I'd blame it on the alchohol but, I've barely even had one drink since I got here.

"Driving home drunk again, I see", he says breaking the spell of awkwardness as we start to descend. He faces his front though and doesn't look in my direction.

"Actually, I didn't drive here. Came with Trinity and Dothan", I mimic his stance and face my front too as I speak.

"Ah. Those two", he says in understanding. I guess their reputation precedes them;

'I'd take you home", he adds. He's not asking.

He steals a glance at me and then, like he can't help it, he gently reaches for me. At first, I think he's going to try to kiss me but, he only runs his fingers in my hair and releases it from the high ponytail and down my back.

"I like it better this way", he whispers. He lingers for a second or two then he moves away and tucks his hands in his pockets like he's trying to control them. He's a little less smug tonight and almsot even moody. Even though I don't know him that well, it feels like something is off.

Right before the elevator doors open, I pack my hair back up into the ponytail because I like it better this way. He watches me in amusement and he mutters something under his breath like 'you're so stubborn'. Even though I'm trying to be defiant, my face betrays me and I laugh when he mutters. My laughter coincides with the opening of the elevator doors.

We step out of the elevators together and proceed to exit the building. He leads the way to his car which is a perfect reflection of him; dark and edgy. To my surprise, when we 're seated, he starts to attempt to hotwire the car instead of using car keys like everyone else. Is this his car?

"Wait. Isn't this your car?',

"Relax. I stopped stealing cars years ago", I know he's only joking but, I raise my brows in mock judgement and then he fesses up;

"I lost my car keys and I've just been lazy to get the spare. I do this all the time", he says as the engine kicks off and he seats up to begin the trip.

"So, where will I be taking you Miss?', he feigns politeness as we get in the main road.

"The White Rabbit, kind sir", two can play the fake politeness game;

"At this late hour? My suspicions were right, you're an alcoholic", he says in a fake melancholic accent. This time I laugh heartedly. It's almost hard to believe just a few moments ago, we were being awkward around each other and I didn't know how to talk to him.

He steals another quick glance at me and then back to the road;

"What?",

"Nothing. You just....you seem more alive. Happy. It's nice". I do feel more alive....I feel more happy than I have in a very long time and it's because of him. It's because of this job and Trinity and Danny and the hope of a new life.

"I am", is all I say and we enjoy a few seconds of silence before I say one thing that has been lingering in my head since I saw him tonight;

"Are you okay? I mean not that I miss the annoying Sam but, I am a little suspicious that you're being so....normal", he takes a few moments before answering my question;

"Today was the birthday of a friend. He was like an older brother to Asher and I......I guess this party reminds me of him and all of a sudden, I'm thinking of all the people I've lost in my life and -", he takes a deep breath and then dismisses everything he was saying;

"You just proved my point that you like it when I'm annoying". I don't fall for the deflection. I've only lost one person that I loved in my life, I can't imagine what it must be like to have more than one person I care about gone forever. This must be Derek that Trinity mentioned earlier;

"I'm sorry you had to go through that. I don't know how long ago it was but....it gets easier. On some days. Some days it's overwhelming and the loss is all you can think of but, some other days you're just numb", I think of Luca for the first time today and I realize that today is one of those days when it's only a dumbness I can feel. And that makes me feel guilty.

"I'm sorry for your loss too", Sam says somberly and in full understanding of what I was saying, Indirectly, I just spoke to someone for the first time about how it feels losing Luca. Someone other than Rainer.

"Is that why you escaped from your apartment?",

"Yeah...I have a calming place I go to when I feel this way. I'd be back to my annoying ways before you know it. Maybe I'd take you there sometime". I'm curious about this calming place he speaks of but, I don't push it further. I'm no therapist but, I can tell that it's not very easy for him to be having this conversation right now. He's trying to brush it off but, the sadness lingers in his eyes.

Now I'm the one stealing glances at him. His lean but muscular arms bulging modestly through the short sleeves of his shirt, his overgrown dark hair making his eyes appear even more hooded than they already are, light stubble sprinkled around his tight jaw. He's aware of how attractive he is even though he acts like he isn't.

It feels like time has flown and how we're in front of the White Rabbit.

"You still don't trust me enough to let me drive you where you live", he says calmly. The truth is I have no reason not to trust Sam. So far he has been nothing but kind to me and there's no point hiding my accommodation anymore because it's literally just eight blocks from here.

"It's eight blocks from here. The motel by the end of the street". He says nothing and accelerates again as we head to Randy's. Once we're packed in front and it's time for us to part, I confess;

"You know I tried to reach out to you all week. Mostly to say thank you for hooking me up with the job. And just to say hi", I add that last part because it's the truth. He turns off the engine and focuses his attention on me.

"Give me your phone", I do. He updates his number on my phone and hands it back to me;

"I lost my phone. This number is my home line. It always goes through. You can use it anytime you need to...just say hi", there's the difference between Asher and Sam. It's very easy to tell Sam is teasing because he smirks a little devilishly at the end of the sentence.

"Okay", I collect my phone back. He doesn't look away from me and just like in the elevator, his fingers find their way into my hair;

"You know I'm just going to pack it back up", I say;

"No, that's not what I'm doing this time", he says right before he leans in and kisses me. His right hand is still in my hair and as the kiss intensifies, he releases the steering and uses his left hand to tilt my head in a way that makes our lips move in sync. My brain pauses, my heart beats a little faster and I don't know when my hands wrap themselves around his neck, drawing him closer as the kiss gets a little rougher. My senses come back and I pull away but, not far away that he still can't gently nibble my nips.

"I feel a lot better now", he says playfully against my lips, causing me to chuckle and pull further away as I roll my eyes.

"Goodnight Sam", I say as I hop out of his car before I give into the temptation to kiss him again. That look of intensity is back on his face and I feel a hot flash wash over me. I don't want to walk away. I don't want to say goodnight. And neither does he but, I know whatever I'd do, I'd regret it in the morning so I summon the courage to walk away.

"Goodnight Hera", he says but, he doesn't leave. He watches me walk into Randy's and when I'm finally inside, I hear his engine roar back to life. I can't deny it, whatever just happened, I want more of it. I want more of him.