All the Devils are Here

True Identity

Fallon

It seems like whatever I do, I can’t wipe this stuoid smile off of my face. As I drive home to pacj up my things and head back to Sam’s apartment, my mind obsesses over the last few hours that we just sent together. As much as I’d like to think I didn’t go there with any intentions, I did. A part of me has always wanted what happened.

15 year old me would be so shocked to find out what happens in the future. It’s kind of surreal in a way that I just slept with my highschool crush. What’s interesting though is that he’s so much more different than I ever thought he was. He’s different than I thought he was in highschool, he’s different from how I thought the first night we met at the White Rabbit and I’m starting to doubt all of my assumptions about him.

Once, I get to my motel, I excitedly walts in and head for my room to start packing my few belongings. I’ve been here for almost 3 months now and it feels like so much has happened in that time. I have a job, I’ve made kind acquantances like Trinity and Danny, I’m kind of into someone romantically and I think I finally know what it feels like to just have a normal life.

I’m so lost in my fairy tale thoughts, it’s such a rude awakening when I see the person causually leaning against my room door. Rainer. Ofcourse.

“Frankly, I’m surprised you stayed away for that long”, I say as I walk towards him. I’m in such a giddy mood, I actually share a brief hug with him because I missed him a little bit. He doesn’t seem to be as giddy as I am.

“Fallon, we need to talk”, he says in a dead serious tone. I pull my keys out and motion for him to move so I can open the door. He does so and I unlock the door and then we both head inside. I know what happened the last time Rainer and I were in a motel room like this; we shared a little nostalgic kiss but, things are different now. Those lines are no longer blurry and I know sooner or later, Rainer and I are going to become close again but - only as friends.

“What’s up?”,

“You’re putting yourself right in the middle of a danger zone. I mean it’s one thing to come to the center but, it’s another thing to be hanging out in an establishment that’s completely overridden with werewolves.”, he drops all of this information on me and my first reaction is just utter confusion before I relaise he’s talking about the White Rabbit. Overridden with werewolves? I mean I know I killed one in there a few years ago but, that was just one guy.

Ïf you’re talking about the White Rabbit; I work there. I’m not hanging out”, I say the hanging out and use air quotes just to piss him off a little bit.

Ï don’t care what you’re doing there. Fallon, if they identify who you are, they could kill you”,

“Who are they? What are you talking about?”,

“I don’t know who exactly but, whenever I’m in there I can detect a very high frequency of werewolves”, I know that part of being a Sentinel is being able to identify mutants like werewolves and being able to extract confidential information but, this feels like a bit of a stretch. The White Rabbit is a huge establishment so there are probably a bunch of werewolves in there on some days after all - this is the center of the city.

Änd why are you in there in the first place? Following me?”, I already know the answer to that. I appreciate his concern but, I’m starting to feel like there’s a line that he’s constantly crossing and I’m no longer comfortable with this. I circle past him and start packing my stuff.

“Where are you going?”, I reply back to him in an outburst;

“Why does it matter, Rainer?! You’re just going to follow me anyway right?”,

“I’m just trying to protect you”, this only enrages me further and I abandon packing my clothes for a moment and just stare him down;

“Listen to me Rainer. I don’t need your protection. I don’t want you to follow me anymore. I don’t want you to keep showing up unannounced. Can you respect that?”, he’s staring right back at me and after a few seconds, his eyes drop to the ground as he admits;

“I can’t do that”, I shake my head in frustration and return right back to packing my things. I can’t believe him right now but, I don’t have time to keep going back and forth on this. I just wish there was a way to cloak mylef away from him. I’m suddenly really looking forward to spending these two weeks at Sam’s place because atleast I know Rainer can’t show up there unannounced.

“You don’t understand. Something really bad has happened. It’s going to make werewolves be on the look out for Hunters even more. The werewolf representative; he’s dead”, he shares this information with me as if it makes everything clear now but, it doesn’t.

“I don’t know what that has to do with anything? Was it a Hunter that did it?”,

“No but, that’s what they’re going to think. Look, I know you think yu’re invisible and that you’re safe but sooner or later, someone is going to recognize you, someone is going to actually look into your history. What you’re doing, it’s not sustainable. You’re lying to yourself”, his statement hits a little too close to home and shatters the bubble of excitement that I’ve been in all morning. Not only am I lying to myself but, I’m lying to everyone else. I’m lying to Sam.

“Let me worry about that. Don’t you have something better to do than to worry about me?”,

Ï’m telling you something is coming. The things that have been happening in this part of the city; they are up to something. The only way for a Hunter to be safe right now is to be in Uptown. People have been disappearing, kidnappings, increased rogue wolves attacks and now with their leader being dead; I’m not sure what’s going to happen next”,

“Whatever happens, I can take care of myself.”, I’m almost done packing now and I’m back on my feet again. He’s now standing in front of the door that leads to the bathroom so I have to ask him to move so I can go in to pack some of my toiletries. Instead of moving away, he tries to tuck the losse strands of my ear behind my ear. That action startles me and make sme so uncomfortable.

“Please move, I need to get my stuff”, he still doesn’t step away but, his hands linger just beneath my ear.

“No”, I shake my head and pull his hand away. He finally steps away for me to move but, as he does so he asks;

“Is there someone else?”, as much as I’d like to label Rainer as some overbaring asshole, the tone of his voice sounds like he’d want me to say no more than anything. I’m not even sure how to answer that question. The issue is not about whether there is someone else or not.

“That’s not what this is about. I don’t want to be with someone that doesn’t respect my privacy and basically stalks me. You know what actually makes me feel unsafe in this part of the city? You. Not the werewolves, not the f*****g batshit crazy people but, it’s you! Literally just knowing that you could be watching me it’s not comforting, it’s disturbing.”, I’m out of the bathroom now and putting everything into my bagpack.

“Fine”,

“Fine, what?”,

“Fine, I’d back off. I just don’t want you to end up like Luca but, if you’re deadset on getting yourself killed, then so be it”,

“f**k you”, I spit out barely after he’s done with his sentence. How dare he stoop that low to prove his point.

“I don’t know who you are anymore”, he mutters as he turns around to leave. I could say the same for him but, he’s right. I don’t know who I am anymore. How can I truly move away from Fallon and become Hera when he keeps popping up and reminding me of my true identity? Who else could pop up another day that knows who I truly am. How sustainable is my life here? Just a few moments ago, I was so proud of myself for how far I’ve come in the center but now I realize I’ve made no progress at all if it’s a false identity I’ve been displaying. But, what can I do? I can’t be who I truly am without directly putting myself in danger.