Just Another Day at the Office

III.

III.I am rudely awakened by the sound of my alarm.

The leftovers of the delicious dream I've been having still linger, confusing me. John was in it, of course. I can't quite recall much else, but my ragged breath and moist, tingly crotch suggest that we weren't getting much work done.

As I get ready and head into work, I can't stop obsessing about what's been going on lately.

Despite working with John for a few days already, I really can't seem to get close to him. All my efforts to start a conversation have stumbled at the first hurdle.

I do wonder, is he always like this? Or perhaps he genuinely dislikes me? Although I keep going through whatever I've done or said, and I can't pinpoint anything specific that might have caused this rift.

I haven't even had the chance to say anything too daft yet. We haven't had a single conversation that wasn't about work.

Today, I think I'll have lunch with the girls again. Perhaps they have some insights to share.

By the time I reach the office and make my way towards my desk, John is already there for a change. Normally he's nowhere to be seen until nine am sharp.

And he looks even bleaker than on Monday.

Something is definitely wrong with him. Perhaps that's the reason he isn't talking.

Whatever it is, I'll be the last person he'll talk to. He seems to be the sort of person to bottle everything up.

Speaking of bottles, I'm convinced he has a stash somewhere around the office. Every lunch hour he sneaks off and comes back with a distinct smell hanging around him. They say vodka doesn't make your breath smell, but that's untrue.

It's only a matter of time before someone catches on, even if I'm the only one who appears to be paying attention. Maybe I should say something? But considering he hates me, I don't think it'll go down well.

"So, what's the plan for today?" I say, forcing myself to look him right in the face this time.

I've been practising but my heart still skips a few beats every time I do. How does he not notice or care just how nervous he makes me?

John is just sitting there, fingertips rubbing his temples and eyes closed in a frown. Hangover? Time to take some initiative.

"I'm going to get myself a cuppa, would you like anything?" I try again. Nothing.

I shrug and head to the hot drinks machine. Fine, I'll improvise. When I get back to our desks, he's still sitting in the same position.

"Here, have some tea. You look like you need it." I push one of the two paper cups towards him, as well as a couple of sugar packets and a wooden stirrer.

"I wasn't sure how you take it."

Finally, he looks up at me and I just about manage to hide my nerves with a friendly expression. I hope.

"Thanks," he says, and our eyes meet for but a split second.

I quickly look away and fidget with my own ribbed cardboard cup before taking a sip.

As my heart rate comes down, I can't help but smile into my drink.

There's something pure about tea. How it can turn almost any situation right around.

When I glance over at John, he's just brought his cup to his lips. His face has straightened out and he looks a bit more relaxed than he has done all of this week. As soon as I focus on my cup again, I feel his eyes on me and I can hardly suppress another smile.

This morning, the training goes a little better than it has so far. Either I'm starting to pick things up, or he's become more patient. He's even speaking in complete sentences rather than monosyllabic words.

Whatever the cause, I'm encouraged by the results.

"Say, have you heard that the renovations at the old cinema are done now? It feels like forever since I've been to the movies…" I try, hoping to steer the conversation away from work.

"Yeah, the opening was what, last weekend? I haven't been yet," he answers.

An actual chat, even if it was just one exchange-amazing what a cup of tea can do!

"Lunchtime. See you after," he says while getting up.

I still haven't seen him set foot in the lunchroom even once. I wonder where he goes every day?

"Later," I respond.

When I enter the break area, the conversation at the lunch table is already in full swing.

"Hi, Cath, join us!" Amanda waves at me. During the past few days we've shared lunch, she has been the nicest to me out of the whole group.

I sit down next to her and start listening in. There's some event coming up and everyone is buzzing.

"I overheard Richard the other day talking to upper management. Apparently it will be black tie this year! And everyone's allowed a plus-one, not like our usual parties," Amanda continues. Her voice is shrill with excitement.

They can only be talking about the obligatory office Christmas party. I'm not sure whether to look forward to it or dread the entire affair.

Bring a date? The only date I want sits next to me every day… But what if he has someone already? I don't have a clue about his personal life.

"So, when is this thing happening?" I ask casually.

"Saturday, December 1st. I'm sure they'll send out a circular shortly," Amanda says.

That gives me-let's see-just about four weeks.

The conversation moves on. d**k allegedly hooked up with some girl in Finance. I feel sorry for her, but my sentiments aren't shared by the rest of the group, it seems.

Half of the group decides to leave early, preparing for some meeting I'm not privy to. I get a moment alone with Amanda and decide to make the most of it.

"Say, I've been wondering. Is John always this grumpy or have I done something to cause it?" I ask.

"Well..." Her voice lowers. "Actually, no. I mean, he's not very chatty generally, but lately-I probably shouldn't say anything."

Please, please do tell! I try not to look too eager, but can't keep my eyes off her in anticipation of what she's about to share.

She takes a deep breath before continuing in a low whisper. "A few weeks ago, he broke up with his girlfriend."

"Really!" I raise my eyebrows.

"Yeah, it was messy, too. I don't know why, but for some reason she called the office and not his mobile. All calls reach Linda's line first and then she transfers them. So, she transferred the call to John but-" Amanda hesitates and scans the empty room.

"She never hung up. Heard the whole thing."

My mind is racing. This must have been the phone call I witnessed during my job interview.

The sneaking off, the drinking at lunchtime… It all starts to make sense now.

I can't believe Linda would do such a thing! Okay, that's not true. I have no trouble believing it at all.

"Oh my, and she told everyone what she overheard?" I ask.

"Yeah. I mean, I'm not really friendly with him, but that was quite a crappy thing to do. The girl told him she had never really been into him, that she had just been with him because she needed a place to stay for free. Really cruel." Amanda shakes her head.

My mouth has fallen wide open. I'm torn between sadness and outrage.

"Unbelievable," I mutter.

As I wander towards my desk, my mind is still racing to process this new information. So, he is indeed single, but the circumstances make me feel guilty for hoping so earlier on.

My heart aches for him, but what can I do about it? If he gets the feeling that I'm only being nice to him out of pity, that would make everything worse.

That's not how things are, anyway.

He mustn't find out that I know. Ever.

"Hi." I smile and make proper eye contact for the first time in quite a while.

My heart skips a whole bunch of beats, yet my eyes linger on his just a little longer.

"Hey. Ready to be introduced to some suppliers?" he asks.

Do my ears deceive me or is his voice just a little more upbeat than normal?

"Yeah, but I could really use a bit of caffeine first-shall I get you one too?" I ask.

"Sure, thanks." A reluctant smile appears.

I guess the saying is true: the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. I sure as hell can play that game! Off I go, with a spring in my step.

The hot drinks machine is in the hallway just around the corner, opposite the lifts. It's quiet at this time of day, allowing me to plot my next move. I must get him to open up more.

Just when I'm picking up the two cups to head back to my desk, I start to feel uneasy. It's as though I can feel someone's presence nearby.

"Hi, Cath-getting a cup of tea, I see?" d**k appears right behind me.

I must have been so lost in my thoughts that I didn't notice him walking over.

"Um, yeah. Nothing like some caffeine to increase productivity..." I respond with a flat smile.

He's standing way too close for comfort. Has the man never heard of personal space?

"Good, good. I won't keep you. I was just wondering..." He leans closer, with one hand against the drinks machine, blocking my way. "Perhaps you'd like to join me for drinks sometime? We could go somewhere after work."

Wait, didn't he already get with some woman from Finance recently? I shudder at the thought.

"Thanks, but I don't think that's a good idea," I mumble.

My eyes are now scanning around the empty hallway, hoping for someone to walk in and distract him. Thankfully, a moment later Sharon appears and I don't hesitate to seize my chance.

"Oh, Sharon, good thing you're here. I was wondering-" I quickly duck underneath d**k's arm and get a few paces between us. "Where is the extra sugar kept? The dispenser here is almost out."

Sharon looks at me, frowning, then looks back at d**k, who is still standing by the machine.

"Oh, that's okay, I'll take care of it." Sharon continues to look at us with a suspicious scowl on her face.

"Great, thanks. Back to work," I mutter while hurrying back into the office floor.

Hopefully d**k gets the message that I'm not interested, but something tells me he isn't the type to quit easily.

* John *

Today went a lot better than expected, despite my epic hangover this morning.

The new girl, Cath, is really trying to be friendly. Maybe she's not just a pretty face; she seems to be unlike the others: actually nice.

She went to get a cup of tea after lunch and came back looking flustered. When I asked what was wrong, she wasn't forthcoming. The only hint she gave was when she asked about Richard in a roundabout fashion. What's his deal? That's literally what she asked.

I had to assume he tried some of his so-called charms on her-that's what he always does. And apparently it didn't work.

For some reason this really cheered me up. While Sharon and the others continue to suck up to him all day, she's not interested.

I thought I was the only one who saw him for the despicable arse that he is. She was being careful not to say anything too incriminating, of course. But I could tell from how she said his name that she's not a fan.

After finishing for the day, we got talking a little. She said she likes to know the people she works with, something to that effect. We talked about silly stuff mostly-movies, music, that sort of thing. It turns out she's unusual indeed, in fact we share very similar tastes.

It was nice. A little conversation about nothing, really. She's excited about the final season of Game of Thrones, but said her benchmark epic fantasy will always remain The Lord of the Rings.

I would have never taken her for a Tolkien nerd. Interesting.

When she got up to leave, she casually touched my arm while saying goodbye. My skin is still buzzing in that spot even now. I hope she didn't notice if I acted weird. It's just a casual gesture, she wouldn't have meant anything by it…

"Yeah, I'll have another. Double," I say, while brushing my hand over that spot on my arm. It's as though I can still feel her touch.

The bartender has given up on taking my empty glasses away, instead opting to simply refill them. I don't know how many times. The whisky has stopped burning on my tongue, so I must've had a few already.

But why can't I get her out of my head? If only she knew the effect she's having on me, she'd dislike me just like she does Richard.

Still, she's all I can think about.