Falling For Insanity

Chapter Eight

Chapter Eight:

Eric's POV

"How the hell have you been affording to live?" Blake asks me with an annoyed growl, running a frustrated hand through his hair.

Faiths house was just right in front of us, her waiting for our arrival while we waited on Rosie's. Blake insisted we waited to walk in until she got here, saying she hated walking into places alone if she didn't have to. That information didn't surprise me. She seemed like a dependent person. Rather that be dependent on Blake, Faith, or whoever.

I had told Blake the news about me not actually going to college recently but we hadn't had a chance to talk any further about it. He obviously wasn't taking it as well as I thought he was. The Blake I know would laugh, call me crazy, and brush it off.

I hadn't seen much of Blake since being home. If he wasn't busy with Rosie, he was busy with practice or something with school. This wasn't typical of him, Blake always made time to chill with me when I came around. At this point, I'm convinced he's been avoiding me. And I'm smart enough to know there's only one reason for this...

Rosie Mae.

"How do you think?" I asked, flicking the long strip of ashes coming from my cigarette onto the asphalt beneath our feet.

Blake wasn't oblivious to my past. He knows a lot of where I've been and what I've done. And not just because he's my brother...other reasons that I'm sure he's hiding very well and adamantly from Rosie. She clearly had not a shred of knowledge of Blake's past or she wouldn't have been so shocked when she met me that night.

It was a good thought, me having a little leverage over Blake this time instead of him having it over me.

I figure this is why he's been avoiding me. He doesn't want Rosie to know his big ol' secret. He must be nervous I might tell her something he doesn't want her to hear. To be fair, if I were him, I wouldn't want her to know either. Though sooner or later, the poor girl will find that out, only to have her life come crashing down harder on her than it already is. What a heavy weight to bare, the poor girl. What heavy weights she bares...that poor girl.

"I didn't know you were still into that shit." Blake tells me, glancing up and down the road for signs of Rosie who is running very late. "We all thought you had your s**t together in college now."

I hope she didn't decide to find a new gown for tonight.

"And everyone will continue to think that." I tell him, not leaving any room for an argument. "You need to take a step down from that high horse of yours, Blake. We both know you have no room to judge." I advise him, letting a puff of smoke leave my lungs. It was getting colder by the minute. If it wasn't for me needing this cigarette before going this bullshit party, I would've left Blake to wait on Rosie Mae a long time ago.

He eyed me from the side, pausing and studying my face, as if making sure I was hinting at what he thought I was hinting at. Blake let a small scoff leave his lips as he looked away. "That s**t was a long time ago. I'm tired of you hanging it over my head."

I laugh, letting my cigarette fall to my feet. "A long time ago? What? Just two years ago?" When it came to Blake's past, nothing changes that quickly. Or at all. It can't. Once it's done, it's forever. "Be f*****g real..." I begin. "You got with your little girlfriend and you act like you have completely forgotten who the f**k you are. I have not forgotten and neither have you, Blake. Keep pretending. It will get you no where."

I take Blake's silence as deeming me correct. Though the wheels in his head were turning. There was one thing he can't run from...that is me. He knows that as well.

I can't even recognize the boy anymore. My own brother now appeared to be a stranger. Maybe it was me who got him into s**t growing up but that didn't take away the things he wanted to do that I got involved in.

"Maybe you aren't trying to change, Eric." Blake fumed, now staring at me in that familiar cold way. It brought a grin to my face that only made Blake angrier. "I'm busting my ass to be different. I'm only eighteen. I gotta do it now or I may never do it."

I remember saying those words before. Granted it was at a later age than Blake is now. But In the moment, I remember really believing it too, the same way Blake is this very moment. Once committing such crimes, no matter how hard we try to believe it, change will never be capable of happening. We are who we are.

"You're delusional if you think that going to college and getting a job is going to make you the stand up citizen you're pretending to be." My response was immediate...and honest. It could drive people like us crazy, trying to make ourselves reach the impossible. If Blake was smart, he'd go ahead and accept himself for who he is instead of wasting so much time.

"I have to try." Blake sighed. "Why do you want me to fail so bad?" He questioned. "Why is it so outlandish for you to think there's no way out of this?"

"Because our victims had no way out."

Blake fell silent once more.

This time he wasn't able to come up with a response, not because of his lack of words, but because of Rosie's arrival.

In my head, I pictured her beautiful as ever in that gold dress, matched with gold heels. With a simple search and extra payment for next day shipping, I picked the dress out myself.

We had all been invited to this party months ago. I just had no idea Rosie would barge into my life like this. It didn't take me but a moment to realize that I wanted to pick out her next outfit for the break's festivities. Images of Rosie Mae have been in passing upon meeting her, already having an idea before even doing the search itself.

Her black hair fell in waves down her back, framing her face. I had yet to see Rosie wear any other makeup that wasn't subtle. But tonight she wore a light smoky eye, making those eyes pop more than they did already. Her heels made her short, five foot three frightens couple inches taller. Her dangly earrings gleamed in the moonlight.

She wore a confidence about her that she hadn't worn yet, making her all the more attractive. I could tell I made the right call on the outfit, as much as she probably hates wearing it right now.

The smug feeling, matched with a smug grin grew as I watched Blake take in his girlfriend...who was wearing the dress that I told her to wear. And he had no idea. There was a thrill in it, really. I bet she could feel it too.

I know she does.

Because her eyes found me first.

The way they locked in on me in silence, even for just a couple moments, actually spoke a lot of words. Soon, when I get a chance alone with her, I know she will argue that but just like Blake, there is one thing she can't run from...that is me.

The tension between Blake and I was thick, but it felt as though Rosie Mae's arrival lifted both of our spirits, the annoyance slowly fading away in each passing second.

It made me wonder how she felt, having one boy waiting on her, whom she's already given her body to, and a man whom she's already given her soul to.

She was a walking tale.

"Hey, baby." Blake greeted her with a hug and a kiss once she reached him, making me want to gag. A blush appeared on her cheeks at his action, maybe unused to the public display of affection. "I was starting to get worried about you."

"Yeah, it's about time. It's freezing out here." I grumbled, hands dug deep in my pockets to keep them warm.

Rosie's eyes met mine again, eyebrow arched with that little attitude of hers. "I'm the one in a dress." She states, the underlying knowledge we both had about the dress being kept hidden but hinted at. "And you didn't have to wait."

"Don't flatter yourself." I responded, a smirk tugging at the corner of my lips as I did so. "I just needed a smoke."

Blake's eyes darted between the two of us, face twice into a state of confusion at Rosie and I's interaction. Seeing her, looking as good as she does, wearing my money...I almost forgot Blake was there in the first place.

"You good?" I heard Blake ask Rosie from behind me as we all headed to the front door of Faith's house.

"Just not in the greatest mood." I heard Rosie tell him in a reassuring tone.

It was one of the first times I've heard her speak to him in a conversation that was only between the two of them. Her voice was sweet, melodic to Blake, a thousand times more than it was when she talked normally. For an example of her talking normally; the way she talked to my parents. It honestly sent a twinge of jealousy through me. Even though I brought it upon myself, I wish it was me she was using that sweet voice with.

"Eric baby...I'm glad you came."

A soft, perfectly manicured hand slides up my arm, over my shoulder to drape around my neck. My instinctive arm lips around her familiar waist, pulling her into the sultry hug she gives me.

"You knew I would, love." I tell Faith who slowly pulls away, those seductive eyes peering up at me like they always do when she's with me.

One thing about Faith is...I'll always come knocking at her door and she will mine.

As much as I know she jokes about it while everyone thinks she's nuts...Faith and I have been f*****g for about a year now off and on. I wasn't aware of her age or that she knew Blake when I met her at a friends house back this time last year. That of course didn't stop me, it just meant it had to be kept a secret.

There weren't any feelings there what so ever. Just a good lay every once in a while when both of us, or even one of us were in need. There wasn't any confusion about the situation which made things really easy and all the more enjoyable.

Another thing about Faith is, much like Rosie, looks and acts mature for her age. This made it easy to look past the fact that she's in high school.

"I didn't get much of a chance to talk to you at your parent's party." She pouts a little, fingertips dancing against my arm in that way she always does. "Maybe we'll get a chance to catch up later?"

The answer was obvious as I gave her hip a light squeeze before letting my arm drop back down to its side. "When you're ready I'm ready."

"I don't really like whatever that just was." Blake speaks up, me not knowing he and Rosie were still close behind me. It's a good thing we had kept our voices in whispers or we could've just told on themselves. "And I really hope it never happens again."

If he only knew.

Rosie Mae seemed uncomfortable, a step behind Blake as she shifted around, fidgety. I knew her mind was on the bag I gave her. I'm sure there wasn't room in there for much else.

This little dance around the elephant in the room was quite amusing to me.

"Oh my god. You look gorgeous!" Faith coos, taking in the sight of Rosie, much like everyone else in the room was. Rosie was hard to miss in that bright dress, so stunning. "Where the hell did you find that dress?"

The lies coming from Rosie's mouth, left much smoother tonight. She was progressing unconsciously, quickly, which is all the better for me.

"Oh it's just something I dug out of my moms closet." Rosie made up a story as she went along, maybe even have pre planned a little something in case someone asked about it. Smart. "Who knew she had good taste at one point?"

"She stays surprising people." Faith laughed, believing the lie she was told as Rosie tried her best to avoid my gaze.

"Oh thank god, you boys are here." My mom says dramatically as she stops to stand with the group of us. She speaks with her hands, waving them about as she says, "I brought the Christmas gifts but your father is off with Faith's dad." With a gentle touch on both of our arms, she asks, "would you please come help me?"

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She stood across the room, hands holding what she thinks everyone believes is just water. Though Blake, Faith, and her were not very discrete about their spiking skills. Those kids didn't think about anything else other than what is happening right then and there, so simple minded.

Her eyes danced around the room, searching for nothing in particular but of course...to no dismay...

They find me.

As I knew they would.

Rosie Mae's head tilted to the side just a little, in curiosity as she tried to read what I was thinking on my face. I have been waiting what feels like a lifetime to catch her alone. The girl learned her lesson from wondering off at my family's Christmas party. She has been sticking close to Faith or Blake's side, making it a point to never have a minute of alone time, taking away any and every opportunity I had to steal her away. She knew I was coming. And she is nervous.

Her eyes left mine, now actually searching for someone to escape to. I didn't plan on allowing that to happen.

"We're in the middle of faiths house. With a ton of people around." Rosie says through gritted teeth as I come to stand next to her, leaning forward against the island in the big kitchen. "Don't do anything stupid."

With my elbows rested on top, I turn my head to get a better look at her. She stands the opposite way of me, back facing the counter as she keeps her focus straight ahead, a shaky hand bringing her glass to her lips.

"I would think you'd be happy." I tell her. "Would you like to go some place more private?"

My teasing gained a glare from Rosie but she moved passed it, changing the subject. "I brought that backpack. It's in my car. I don't want it, okay?"

She spoke in a pleading way, as if begging me to leave her out of whatever was in store. She struggled to keep her face straight, not wanting to raise suspicion of what our conversation holds from other people.

"I never asked you if you wanted it or not." I bluntly state. Is she still not understanding that she has no choice? That she won't ever really be given one from me? There was hope still lingering inside her, there had to be.

"This is going too far, Eric." Rosie tells me, turning her body to face mine, making me do the same. "I've done what you've asked you made your point. What more do you want from me?"

"My love..." her face twists at my words, an attitude now taking over. "We have only just begun."

She blinks a few times, lips parted as if about to say something but no words come out. There was nothing she could say that would change my plans for her, for us...I believe she was cognizant of that.

Without speaking against me, she then asks, "what's the gun for?"

I scope out our surroundings, hoping no one was to hear her as her tone got louder as her annoyance with me increased. "Keep your voice down." I instruct her, causing a flush to form on her cheeks, embarrassed. "I will tell you that when you need to know it."

Rosie rolled those big eyes, setting her now empty glass down and crossing her arms over her chest. She's cute when she's annoyed with me. "If you're going to take over my entire life and all of my choices...you could at least do one thing for me..."

My eyebrow arched, indicating for her to go on.

"Prepare me for whatever is about to happen." She continues. "Tell me these things before hand. If I don't have a say in rather I do it or not, can't you at least tell me what they are first?"

Her request was fair enough. Although I don't think she's aware that me telling her information beforehand leaves her days of fear leading up to it. But as simple as it was, and it being something she was asking for, I can't see why I couldn't do that.

"Alright. That's a deal." I agreed. She looked taken back from me allowing this. A small triumphant smile played on her lips, as if she had finally won something.

I caught sight of Blake watching us from next to our Uncle Frank across the room. Due to our conversation earlier and not coming to a conclusion, how could I not mess with the boy a little?

"So you say you want to know what the gun is for?"

"That's what I said."

She stills in her spot, hand coming out to place it on my chest to create distance between us as I leaned into her, taking half a step closer. Although she doesn't move, I can hear her breaths rising and falling quicker as my lips come to stop next to her ear.

Her touch felt nice even though she was "pushing" me away. Her hands felt small against my broad chest. My tall figure stood tall over her, making Rosie lean back a little.

To not trigger suspicion, I made the movement swift and quick, everyone would most likely miss it.

"I just needed someone to hold my murder weapon." I whisper in her ear.

Rosie had a relieved expression on her face when I backed away from her. The hand that was once against my chest now places itself on her own. She lets out a sigh. "Really? I thought it would be something like last time. Or worse."

I chuckled. Rosie was on the exact track I wanted her to be on. I still have yet to fail in anything thus far. I really am something. "Be patient, love. The worst has yet to come."

Blake was fuming from where he stood, not trying the least to hide his rage towards me. He knew what I was doing. He should be timid, uneasy that I might actually be capable of taking his girl. From where I stood, Rosie Mae wasn't showing any signs that it was out of the question. His eyes burned holes into the side of my head, only satisfying me more that what I did worked. How insecure he is.

"Mind if I steal Eric away for a little bit, Rosie?" Faith asked, letting a hand trail up my back from behind me.

Rosie glanced between the two of us, the underlying question written all over her face.

"Be my guest."