Traces of Midnight Fallacies

CHAPTER SEVEN

CHAPTER 7

Even before I saw his face, I felt the numbness of my whole face even before my vision darkened and fainted. I saw nothing, but I felt a strange feeling. No matter how much I want to forget everything, I can't do it either because it seems like he is already part of my dark world.

My stepfather was one of the things I dreaded the most while alive, and that will not change.

No matter how much I want to forget everything, I can't do it either. First of all, I can't replace the bitter memories he left me with happy memories. Secondly, he will no longer be able to change how I feel about him because even here in this unusual world, I hated him. I feel like my hatred for him will never change, especially now that I still can't forgive him for what he did to me.

Even if he kneels in front of me, I will never forgive him. Even if he still kisses the ground in front of me as he kneels, I don’t care.

My consciousness was awakened by the repeated caresses on my exposed skin. I could feel the warmth of that palm repeatedly hugging my thigh. Slowly and firmly holding it delivered a creep all over my body. When I felt his fingers slip through the sleeve of my dress, I deliberately opened my eyes.

Shock registered on my face when I saw him smirking at me. His eyes are almost dark. There was a streak of l**t in his eyes as he stared sharply at my young body exposed in front of him.

"Uncle, what are you doing here?" I asked, slightly shuddered because of horror. "You are not allowed to enter my room, Uncle!"

"This is my house, Sabrina," he said.

He gently stroked my thigh, which made my eyes widen in horror. I could do nothing but repeatedly kick him, but his manly hand rested on my thighs. I repeatedly shook my head in disapproval of what he was planning, but he remained in his position, between my thighs.

"You can do nothing but to obey me as your father," he said, smiling devilishly at me.

"Y-You are not my father!"

I quickly slapped him, which made him even angrier. I was even more frightened when he violently grabbed both of my hands and buried them above my head. I could feel the gradual flow of my hot tears on my cheeks when I felt his kiss on my neck.

"Stop it, Uncle!" I yelled before I kicked his stomach.

He quickly left me and lay down on the bed while caressing his stomach that I kicked. I immediately removed the blanket between the two of us and violently strangled him until he completely lost consciousness. Because of my confusion and wanting to escape safely to that place, I immediately picked up the scissors on the bedside table and held them tightly to protect myself in case he regained consciousness and he thought of killing or r****g me.

"This is not the life I dreamed of," I said to myself as I focused the scissor on my stepfather who was now staring at me, shocked by my actions.

He remained lying on the floor while holding his stomach. I stabbed him with scissors when he woke up. I felt hot tears repeatedly dripping down both of my cheeks before I stabbed him again for the second time until he completely lost consciousness. My eyes widened as I watched my hands covered in my stepfather's thick blood. Even before he regained consciousness, I decided to throw away the scissors I had used before running out of the house.

Some say that the only child in the family can be considered lucky compared to others who have siblings. Children are lucky if they have no share of their parents' attention. It's like you're lucky because you get everything you want and they give you the attention you need. You don't have to ask them because they are the ones who come to you on their own.

Am I fortunate? I think I'm not.

I am the only child, but I can't be proud of other people. I am the only child and I am the only one who catches the anger of my parents. I am the only child and yes, I am the only one who suffers whenever they are not in the mood. I am the one who catches all the pain I should not receive from them. Because I am an only child, I have no ally in everything. I have an ally in everything, my auntie, but it seems like heaven is bad because they didn’t let me be with her. Heaven took back the only person who understood me in everything.

Whoever else I admire and side with me in everything, they are the ones that heaven takes back. All my life, she was the only one who was patient with me. She did everything just to make me better. When I wanted to take back and sacrifice my life for her, the Lord took her back.

Is it possible that I have been a bad child to my parents? I followed everything they wanted even though I almost sacrificed myself. I did everything just to fulfill my promise to them, but it turns out that they are still insulting me.

Every f*****g minute, I never fail to ask myself a lot of random questions that I know that I'm the one who can answer.

Am I not enough? I did everything they ordered, but it seems like it's not enough. It will never be enough for them. When did they sacrifice themselves for me? All my life, I almost sacrificed myself. I guess the word sacrifice is not enough for them to know that this is all I can do. The word sacrifice was not enough for them until they saw my lifeless body.

You can appreciate someone when they are no longer around you. I abused myself so many times. I tried to kill myself in front of them, but did you know what they said?

"You want to kill yourself?" my mom asked as I stroked my wrist with the knife I picked up earlier in the kitchen. "Go and kill yourself! I don't care! That's better than me consuming the rest of my life living with you, Sabrina! You're an asshole!" she yelled.

I stiffed at what she said. I was silent for a few seconds at what she said before I decided to throw away the knife I had been holding firmly before.

My life is just a mess for her. She never made me feel like a mother to me, even just by asking me if I had eaten, if I was okay, or if I was sick.

I never heard those words from her, and I don't think I would expect to hear that thing from them anymore, especially since I ran away on my own to get away from them.

I know that they will never search for me. I know that because my mother said they would never care for me even if I died in the middle of the woods.

That’s one of the things I dreamed of, that they saw my lifeless body in the middle of the woods, but it seems like that’s not God’s plan for me.

"Oh my God!"

I heard her voice throughout the woods, but I kept my eyes closed as I remained lying on the large root of the tree I was leaning against.

"My God! What are you doing here, hija?"

A nun sheltered me when she found me in the middle of the woods. She took me to an orphanage where she lived. Just like me, she also has companions in the orphanage and almost all the children I met there had the same experience just like me.

I thought that I would finally have an ally in my life, but it seems like that thing won't happen again.

I felt a hand gently caressing my hand. I slowly opened my eyes and my eyes quickly widened when I saw an unfamiliar man smiling at me. I quickly pushed him away from me and quickly got up from lying on my bed. I know he was surprised at the actions I took, especially when I went to the side of the room and when I held a baseball bat that I picked up on the bedside table.

"What are you doing, sweetheart?" he asked, confused by my action.

"Who the hell are you?" I asked, suspiciously, while still holding the baseball bat for my defense against him. "What are you doing here inside my room?"

He laughed slightly at my question before he decided to get up from sitting on the bed and, in disbelief, turned to me.

"Are you pranking me, Maine?" he asked, which made me grit my own teeth. "That wouldn't work. That won't break me. Better luck next time, "he added before he laughed, raising my eyebrows.

Even before I could speak, we both looked at the door when it opened and my mother, who was now smiling, came in with a tray of soup.

Mom checked on me before rushing to the bedside table and placing whatever she was carrying on it. "I hope you're okay. It wasn't a good thing that you fainted at the door earlier. We almost called an ambulance, but when the maid said "you're okay," we didn't bother. It seems like you're okay now."

"M-Mom…"

"I think she's okay," the unfamiliar man said before he smiled at me. "She's pranking me again."

A shocked look plastered on my mother's face before she looked at him. "Oh, really?"

The man nodded before he smiled at her. "That's my girl. She won't stop until she gets revenge for what I did last week. "

I slowly dropped the baseball bat I was holding, which created a noise between the three of us. They just kept joking with each other while I stared at them, confused. It seems like I'm not happy while looking at them.

They seemed like they were okay while I just remained in shock in front of them. It took some time for me to decide to look in the mirror, but when I saw my reflection, I knew I was in an unusual world. It feels odd for me.

I slowly glanced at them and when I saw my mother smiling sweetly with that unfamiliar man, I knew that he was my father in this world. The father I never had in reality. When he glanced at me with a smile creeping on his lips, I tried to act innocent before I decided to walk towards him to give him a tight hug, which he reciprocated.

I know that he is a good person. I know that what my uncle did to me will remain in the past. He would never do that because I trust him. He was so far away from my stepfather, and when I saw his eyes, I finally got the answer I was hoping for.

In his eyes, I saw a beautiful place lurking there. I saw my mom cuddling with him while I was just sitting quietly between the two of them.

I finally saw my dream family.

I finally saw my dream home.

I finally saw myself that I lost.

I finally saw my life and I didn’t know if I would choose this kind of life here in an unusual world or find a way to escape this kind of illusion lurking around me.