Intended Hands

CHAPTER 3

It’s been five days since Lu and I talked.

He kept nagging me over the past few days but I am so irritated thinking about “that incident” so I kept on dodging him.

Also, there’s this thing in my chest I can’t figure out since that day. It feels like a knife stabbing my chest and it hurts.

I didn’t confront him about what I saw because if I do, he’ll find out that I lied to him. I know that I don’t love Lucius, but he’s still my boyfriend. Everybody knows I’m his girlfriend, and now he’ll go out with some girl I’m not familiar with?

What if someone saw them and asks me who that b***h is, what will I answer? Can I just say, “Some cheap w***e clinging to someone’s property”? That’s absurd! He even lied. Yes, I know I lied too about going out but it’s just a white lie. Nobody was trodden.

Still, you lied Ava.

But not like him!

I didn’t expect him to say he is at home when in fact he’s with another girl. When did the mall ever become his home? Damn it. He could’ve just told me that he’ll bring his mistress instead, and I won’t absolutely mind it.

Furthermore, I lost my keychain! I don’t know when or where! I even searched every corner of my room but I still couldn’t find it, not even the slightest shadow. It didn’t even last a month with me.

It’s kind of sad thinking about it. I don’t know if I was just clumsy or what, maybe it just wasn’t meant for me so they took it back. I jumped off my bed when I heard someone knock on my door. I opened it only to see the face I least wanted to encounter.

“Why are you avoiding me, Ava?” said Lu, entering my room even without even asking for permission. He sat on my bed as he roamed his eyes into my room. “It’s been a week since we last talked, were you aware of that… hmm?”

“I was busy. I don’t have time for talk and we have nothing to talk about, do we?” I tucked my hair behind my ear. A mannerism whenever I say something inaccurate or untrue to be specific.

"You knew we have something to talk about, you just don't want to." He sighed.

I looked at him. "Like what?" He stood up and went near me, closing our gap. We're inches apart now! "Like... me having an affair... hmm?" He smirked as if something was fascinating about what he just said!

He's playing the hell out of me!

"What are you talking about? DO you have?" I said as if I was clueless when in fact I knew it already.

He massaged his head and gave me a startling look. "Quit playing, Ava," he said. "I know you saw us at the mall, and you even ran to the exit after that."

His statement shocked me. How did he figure that out?! I'm so naive to believe he's unaware of my presence at that moment.

"Am I correct?" he asked. Allowing me to be embarrassed.

But... Why would I bother? I had done nothing, he did!

I rolled my eyes at him and asked, "And so? What about it?" I looked him in the eyes. He appears vulnerable right now like I'm making him feel silly and weak. Really?

He sighed deeply before muttering something under his breath. I didn’t hear it so it annoyed me more.

"Can we talk about this calmly? Without you getting upset?" He continues. "Can you promise to listen before you comment?" I faced him. "Try me, then."

He laughs. "Okay." He's making fun of me. "First, why are you at the mall? You told me you don't have the energy to go with me and watch a movie." I sighed at his statement.

Well, I don't have anything to say because what he said was all true. Nothing to defend.

"Second, the girl you saw wasn't my mistress or whatever you call it. She's my cousin for heaven's sake." He shakes his head, trying his best not to laugh because he caught me behaving jealously.

Though we all know, I am not. Not even close. Really, not gonna happen. Seriously. God! Why do I sound so freaking defensive? It's as if I'm convincing myself than explaining.

I went to my closet to distract myself from embarrassment. I simply want to vanish into oblivion. I'm afraid to face him because I'm worried he'll tease me.

"All right," I answered as I examined my clothes. Still chagrined about my behavior.

"All right... What does it mean?" Lu pushes off the door of my closet and drags me onto my bed. He sat there and pulled me down beside him.

I stared down at the floor. Why am I feeling this? Nervous? About what? Lucius?

You're falling for him, Ava.

I shook my head. I don't want to entertain that thought in my head. Really a terrible thought.

"You know what? I think we're done talking. Can you leave now because I need to prepare for my school the day after tomorrow?" I said as I shoved him out of my room.

"We're still talking, Ava." He said.

"No, it's enough. I need to fix those stuff because it's kind of messy." I said as I pointed to the paper bags I bought yesterday.

"Mind if I join you?" He asked wearing a flirty smile.

I paused for a moment, not for the reason that I like the idea of him accompanying me but for the idea that he might extend his stay if I agree with him.

The thought makes me laugh. "No, certainly not," I responded quickly.

This time I pushed him hard and shut the door instantly.

I leaned against my door. As I catch my breath, I placed my hands on my chest. I believe I forgot to take a breath.

"What was that?"