Violet

Nine

My mother and I only waited a grand total of five minutes before I was called back. My new therapist, Paul, seemed rather upbeat and easy to talk to when he came up to us asking for me and exchanging pleasantries with my mother. When that was over, I followed him to a room in the back, my stomach tied in knots. He gestured to a reclined chair for me to sit in and I gave him a deadpanned look. I noticed the corners of his mouth twitch in a secretive smile as he held his hands up gingerly then gestured to a couch I could sit at on the opposite wall of the reclined chair. I chose to sit on the couch. 

Once seated, Paul, scurried around his office, picking up papers here, writing something down there. Eventually he spoke up, once he felt ready to do so.

“Violet, as you know from the front desk, my name is Paul. Now before we delve too far into anything, I wanted to share a little information with you, are you ready?” Paul asked. 

I had the sudden feeling that declining his offer isn’t an option so with slight hesitancy, I nodded my head for him to continue. He gave a small smile then spoke up. 

“Usually, the business isn’t open on Saturday’s nor on Sunday’s, however, I just so happened to have another patient that could only make today work so I figured I’d have your appointment today as well. So, keep in mind in the future, if you schedule your own appointments, Saturday and Sunday we are closed.” The information he gave was not surprising for this small town. I gave a small head nod to gesture that I was listening, keeping my eyes leveled with his. 

“From now on, I want our meeting days to be during the week, I understand you’re in school so, for now, I was thinking of having us do maybe Tuesday’s and Thursday’s from four to five in the afternoon. Do you think that’s manageable?” Paul asked. 

“Is it mandatory that I meet with you two times a week?” 

“I thought this was going to be like a once a month type thing.” I spoke up my thoughts as I picked at the seam in my black tights. 

“Well, nothing with this is mandatory. But, after speaking with your mom, I gave the recommendation that we meet twice a week. So long as you are comfortable with that plan.” Paul sounded overly confident. It set my teeth on edge but I did my best to bite my tongue at any snarky comments. 

“Huh, well, I told my mom I would give this a chance, so that’s fine. But I do have school Monday through Friday, so what about homework?” I questioned as I glanced around his office. 

“All in all, that’s up to you. I will be here to help guide you in the process of coming to terms with the trauma that you were subjected to, but I can’t tell you how to manage your day to day activities. So in light of that, when do you think would be a good point in time for your to get your homework done, if we have our meetings scheduled for those days and times?” Paul asked. 

I shot my eyes back to him, unsure of what the correct answer was. I shrugged my shoulders then spoke up. 

“I guess I can try and get the homework done after the appointments.” I brushed off the homework topic, regretting the fact that I even brought it up in the first place. 

“That’s a good idea, now, I want to start today with some very cliché questions.” Paul spoke with a small chuckle following his words. 

I found nothing funny and looked at him questioningly while I waited for him to elaborate. He adjusted in his seat as he looked over to his desk. When his eyes returned to mine he continued. 

“How do you feel today Violet?”

I watched as he crossed one ankle over his knee. 

“Overall, I guess I am okay. I feel like the past few days have been a lot to deal with.” I responded as I leaned back in on the couch as well, crossing my legs, one over the other in order to make myself as comfortable as I can. 

“Okay. What has happened in the past few days to make you feel overwhelmed?” Paul asked and I closed my eyes for a moment, mentally going over everything that has recently occurred. 

“My mother and I moved here. I found this diner I could possibly work at but the older lady there kept talking to me funny. I’m trying to learn my new neighborhood  but I happened across this wolf near my house. I got registered for classes at the high school, I made a friend there, his name is Elliot. We have this project we have to work on today about mythology…” 

I trailed off when I noticed that Paul hadn’t said a word but he was giving me a strange look. There was a brief pause of silence between us until finally I had to ask. 

“What? Is something wrong?” 

I could feel myself turning defensive at his strange response to my answer. 

“You said you saw a wolf?” He asked. 

“Where exactly did you see a wolf at?” He questioned me again. 

I watched as he stood up and walked to his desk. He looked down at it like he was thinking hard. 

“Uh, by my house, there’s this clearing down the road. It’s kind of next door the diner.” I replied, hoping he knew the area I was talking about. For all I knew, there could be twenty diners in this town. 

“Yes, Regina’s diner is somewhat of a famous spot around here. I will make a call today and have some of the wildlife specialists we have in town take a look around the area. We have to make sure the townspeople are safe.” He spoke with a half smile as he wrote something down at his desk. 

I frowned at his response. Something inside of me didn’t like the idea of that beautiful black wolf being captured. 

“He’s not dangerous. He was actually really nice. He didn’t even growl at me.” I quickly spoke up, unsure of where the sudden concern came from for the large black beauty. 

Paul didn’t respond to me until he was sat back down in the chair across from me. 

“Do you like wolves?” He asked me and I shrugged my shoulders, confused on his slight redirection of the conversation. 

“I liked the one I saw in the clearing that day. I wasn’t really scared of him and he seemed like he was more curious about me rather than threatened by me.” I responded with a shrug of my shoulders. 

“Well, what do most people know about wolves, in general?” Paul asked me and I began to wonder where he was going with this. 

“I don’t think most people know much. I know not to run from them, I know they usually aren’t alone.” I replied with what little knowledge I had heard about wolves years ago. 

“Usually wolves travel in packs. So this wolf you saw was alone. Is it possible this is indicative of how you feel about yourself?” Paul asked and I narrowed my eyes on him as his question hung in the air. 

“Are you trying to tell me that I hallucinated that wolf?” I asked incredulously. 

It was hard not to feel hurt by his implications but it wouldn’t have been the first time someone didn’t take me at my word when I told the truth. 

“No, that is not what I meant.” 

“What I meant to ask was, is it possible that, because the wolf was alone, you felt more connected to it being as you feel alone in this town or possibly in life?” He asked softly. 

I looked down at my lap and frowned. I hadn’t really thought about why I had seen the wolf in the first place. 

“I mean, I guess it’s possible.” I replied. 

“Tell me more about this. Do you feel alone in life or just in this town? And could you explain why you feel this way?” Paul asked and I had to take a moment to understand all of his questions. 

I turned my head to stare out of his office window. He had a funny way of bringing up buried feelings. 

“Well, yeah I guess it’s possible that I feel alone in this town. I mean, so far, I think I’ve only made one friend but I don’t know much about him and so far, we’ve only seen each other at school, but we’re supposed to meet up later today.” 

My eyes scanned Paul’s face as he gave a short head nod. 

“Good, making friends is important to our mental and emotional health. It’s important to have a good balance between being alone and being with company.” He spoke up and I nodded my head in acknowledgement of his words. 

“Yeah, I guess that makes sense.” I replied. 

“So, outside of seeing this wolf, did anything else stand out this week?” He asked. 

“Was there a certain situation that made you feel overwhelmingly uncomfortable or anxious?” He questioned and I closed my eyes briefly to think. 

Only one scenario came to mind, the situation with Elliot where I hugged him and he zoned out, but I didn’t want to bring that up. Elliot was turning out to be a really good friend and I didn’t want to lose him on the off chance that Paul decided he wasn’t a good friend for me. 

“None that I can think of. I’ve met a few people that seem interesting. I’ve thought about applying for a job at that diner with the nice lady.” I spoke quickly. 

“This nice lady, you mentioned she kept almost calling you a weird name. Do you know what the name is?” He asked and I shook my head. 

“No, like I said, she seemed super sweet the entire time she was talking to me. Even allowed me to eat for free.” I replied as I thought back to that meal in the diner. 

I made a mental note to find a way to repay her in the future. 

“Well, that’s very kind of her. I can tell you’ve really clicked with her personality type, in the future, at school or a job, it might be a good idea to look for those specific personality traits in friends. If you do that, you’re sure to find yourself surrounded by people that will make you feel comfortable and happy in your own skin.” Paul spoke up then shot a smile at me. 

I nodded my head quickly, thinking back over everything he had said thus far. 

“Now, when I see you again on Tuesday, I want you to tell me if you have managed to meet anyone else with those same personality traits that you work well with. This isn’t homework, so you don’t have to go out of your way to meet someone like that. But, I do want you to tell me if you do happen to meet someone this weekend, okay?” He asked as he stood up. 

I followed suit, letting him lead me to the door. 

“Okay, I can do that.” I replied with a firm nod of my head. 

“Good, I hope the rest of your day is a good one Violet.” Paul said his goodbye’s and I ended up walking out of there feeling just the tiniest bit better about everything that had happened over the last couple of days. 

When I managed to make my way back to my mother she was smiling encouragingly at me. I could tell she wanted to ask questions but she kept it at bay as she talked with the man behind the counter about scheduling my next appointment and the dates, times and money of it all. However, now that that was over, I had to start getting ready to meet Elliot.