S.P.A.R.K.L.E And S.H.I.N.E

Chapter 9-02

Chapter 9-02

Their pit stop into Java Hut was to allow time for Raven to catch up with them. And when the guy walked through the door a good half an hour later, Ronan sure as hell found his reason to smile.

As tall, dark and handsome as his twin, Raven usually set himself apart with his own unique style, louder-than-life attitude, and the fact that he was constantly smiling. And while he'd opted for a darker variety of clothing today, choosing a navy jacket and dark blue jeans, the smile was there waiting for him like his very own welcome-home present.

"Ravey-Pie," Ronan squealed, jumping from his seat. Bursting into a skip, he closed the distance between them, jumping at the taller man, swaddling him in a crushing hug. "Baby bird, I've missed you so stinking much! I drawed you a picture yesterday, but I didn't know I was gonna see you today so I didn't bring it."

Arms curled around him, squeezing back with just as much enthusiasm that he'd given, and a firm kiss was dropped on the top of his head. "Squiggles! I've missed you too." And right then, right there, he twirled him around.

It was an awkward embrace. Ronan ended up giggling so hard that he slid out of Raven's hold, and the big guy was right there with him, fighting back his own deep boom of laughter. The girl behind the counter had frozen, looking between them both with a deep-etched frown, and the few customers that had come to fill the establishment spared them a look or two. He didn't care. They could all judge away and then judge some more; Raven was one of his favourite people in the world.

"What did you draw for me, babes?" Raven asked, slinging an arm around his shoulder as he steered him over to where Angel was sitting. The brothers exchanged only an incline of the head to the other in greeting.

"I drew you a bird in a cage, and the bird was supposed to symbolize you, so I left the cage door open so you could fly anywhere you wanted."

Ordinarily, he would have plonked himself down on Raven's lap. Their relationship was close and intimate, brushing up against boundaries but never quite crossing them. But with Adam's newfound aggression towards the twins, he seated himself down in the armchair next to him instead.

"What was the cage supposed to represent?" Raven asked, relaxing into the comfy seat, kicking his feet up, ignoring the look his brother shot him out the corner of his eye.

He opened his mouth to answer, but paused against the blare of Beyonce that struck up in the air, adjourned with a buzzing that began to drill against his leg. Whipping his mobile out, he felt a bubble of cold air clot in his airway as his eyes raked over the name that blinked against the screen.

"I'll be back in a second," he excused, smiling apologetically as he pushed to his feet, hitting the answer button. Raven's head c****d to the side, an eyebrow sliding up. Angel's eyes narrowed. Ignoring them both, he ducked outside the shop.

"Where are you?" Pleasantries such as hi-how-are-you were out with the old, and snarls and demands were in with the new.

"I'm out," Ronan replied, shrinking back against the brick wall, flinching against the wind. The noise swamped his ears, the gurgle of traffic blending in with overlapping chatter, but he tried to blot it out. "Why? What's wrong?"

"Who are you out with?"

And there it was again. That sinking, twisting sensation of despair. It felt like he was falling, that the ground was rushing up to meet him and the unshakable knowledge that sooner or later they were going to collide was like a church bell. Squeezing his eyes shut, he blew out a deep breath. His hand had come to rest on his chest, pushing against it, almost as though hoping it would steady the wild organ that had set off at dead canter within.

There was no reason to feel guilty. No reason to feel like he was doing anything wrong, but as his mouth opened, he very almost said Lucien's name. But he wasn't a liar.

"I'm with Angel," he said at last. And there it was. Dead silence on the other end. It crackled between them like the unforgiving talons of a whip. Had him rushing to try and make the situation seem all Scooby-doo instead of s*x-dungeon, as Adam seemed to think it was. "I told him I'd help him pick out a present for Luci for Christmas."

Still nothing. The line hadn't disconnected, and the sound of his breathing, faint but very much there, could still be heard. Ronan wondered if Adam knew just how much he hated the silent treatment and that was why he pulled it?

"I was thinking if we got him a matching present with Sly, then it would be adorable, and then they could have sleepovers and — " He trailed off. There was a carrier bag being snatched by the wind, falling down, smacking into the hoods of passing cars. Hardly anything to consider a point of interest, but he watched it, watched the broken fluttering as the wind snatched it from the free fall once again.

"I brought us some lunch back," Adam said eventually. The way he sounded, the same as he always had, but all warmth siphoned from his tone, he hated it. It screwed with his head. Had him questioning not only who they were as a couple, but who he was as a person.

The sad part was that he wasn't so sure he knew anymore. His sense of identity felt as flimsy as the carrier bag in the wind.

"I already ate," he said, thinking back to the short-notice breakfast Angel had whipped up for him. And then back to the jammy doughnut, he'd bought for him on the way to Java Hut. "But — I could head back and we could still eat together."

More silence. Then, "No. I'd hate for you to do anything inconvenient like prioritising your boyfriend. I'll throw it in the trash. Have fun with your friend."

As the line went dead, he struggled to breathe. There was a pressure pushing against him, and he couldn't fight it. Couldn't shake it.

"Here I am," he whispered, hand curling into the fabric of his shirt, head tilting back to look at the unforgiving stretch of granite block clouds that had pestered the skyline. "Once again. Feeling lost but now and then, I breathe it in, to let it go."

Humming a few more verses of his favourite Littlespace show's theme tune helped, but not by much. But when the choice got stuck between crumble and be consumed beneath the darkness that tried to swamp him, or shine bright and walk all over that s**t in six-inch heels, he took the latter.