THE ROGUE QUEEN

Chapter 12

I didn’t sleep at all that night.

Every time I shut my eyes, I saw their faces. Zara. Lyra. Maya. Old Thomas. All of them preparing to fight… while I ran away.

“You're not running,” my wolf whispered. “You're surviving.”

But it still felt like running.

When dawn finally broke, I was already packed and waiting outside Lyra's shelter. The camp was stirring—wolves moving with quietly, checking weapons, saying quiet goodbyes to loved ones.

Preparing for war.

“Ready?” Lyra asked as she stepped out. She looked exhausted, eyes tired and sad.

“No,” I said honestly.

“Good.” She pressed a small pouch into my hand. “Medicine. Use it only if you need it. And one more thing.” Her hand tightened on my shoulder. “Don’t you dare feel guilty for living. You hear me?”

I nodded, because speaking would’ve broken something inside me.

Kael found me moments later. He looked like he hadn’t slept either. His hair was a mess, his clothes wrinkled, and there was dark circles under his eyes, tension in his jaw.

"Let's go," he said quietly. "Before this gets harder."

We walked toward the edge of the camp, and suddenly people appeared—wolves I’d trained with, eaten with, talked with.

Marcus grabbed my arm. “Don’t get yourself killed.”

“You too,” I said.

Zara pulled me into a fierce hug. “Come back stronger.”

"I will."

Maya didn’t hug, didn’t smile. She just nodded once. “Make this worth something.”

And then… we were leaving. The camp faded behind the trees, and it felt like something was tearing in my chest.

For almost an hour, Kael didn’t say a word. He just guided us through the forest, moving quietly, focused, his steps steady, his movements silent and sure. I followed, trying to match his pace, trying not to think about what we'd left behind.

Failing miserably.

"Talk to me," Kael said finally. "You're thinking too loud."

"Sorry."

"Don't apologize. Just distract yourself. Tell me something. Anything."

I thought about it. "I wanted to be a healer once. Like Lyra."

"Why didn't you?"

"I was wolfless. They didn't let me train for anything." Bitterness crept into my voice. "I wasn't allowed to be anything."

Kael stopped and turned to face me. "What do you want to be now?"

The question caught me off guard. "I don't know."

“Then maybe this time away is for that,” he said softly. “Not for hiding—but for figuring out who you actually want to be. Not who they forced you to be.”

I didn’t say anything. I just looked away, because hope was a strange, uncomfortable thing.

"What about you?" I asked as we continued walking.

He was quiet for a long moment. "Safe. I just want to be safe. And I want the people I care about to be safe too."

"That's not selfish."

"Isn't it?"

"No. It's human."

He looked at me for a moment, like he was seeing something in me he hadn’t seen before. Then he gave a small smile.

“When did you become so wise?”

“I’m not wise. I’m just repeating stuff Lyra says.”

He laughed quietly. “Still counts.”

We walked in comfortable silence after that, the forest peaceful around us.

By midday, we stopped to rest near a small stream.

Kael knelt to fill our water skins, and I sat on a rock, chewing a piece of dried meat even though my stomach wasn’t interested in food.

“Your bruises are almost gone,” Kael said as he sat beside me.

I looked down at my arms, surprised. The dark marks from training were fading fast, much faster than they should.

“Is that normal?” I asked.

“For a Shadow Wolf?” He shrugged. “I honestly don’t know. But your wolf is getting stronger. You’re healing faster. You’re… changing.”

“I wish this came with an instruction book.”

He chuckled. "Where's the fun in that?"

“Kael, I can barely control anything.”

"Yet. You can barely control it yet." His expression grew serious. "But you will. I've seen how fast you learn. How determined you are. Give yourself time."

Time.

That's all anyone kept telling me I needed.

I stared at the water moving over the rocks and whispered, “What if I run out of time before I figure it out?”

"Can I ask you something?" I said.

"Always."

"Your father. The one who trained you. Was he... good to you?"

Kael’s jaw tightened the moment I said it. “He was strict. Too strict. He pushed me hard, past what any kid should have to handle. When I thought I had nothing left, he pushed me again.” He paused, running a hand through his hair. “But he also taught me how to survive. When the Council attacked my pack, I only lived because of what he taught me. So I don’t know what to feel.”

“You don’t owe him gratitude for hurting you,” I said quietly.

“I know.” He shrugged a little. “But I can also admit his cruelty kept me alive. Even if I hated him for it.” He gave me a tired look. “Does that make sense?”

“Sadly… yes,” I said, thinking of my own past.

We sat in silence for a moment, both lost in memories we'd rather forget.

Then Kael stood and brushed dirt from his hands. “We need to keep moving. We’ve still got a few hours until we reach the den.”

The afternoon slipped by in steady walking and small conversations.

Kael taught me things as we moved through the forest—little things, but important.

“Look at the branches,” he said. “If they’re broken but dry, the animal passed by days ago. If they’re fresh, it was recent.”

He showed me how to spot safe plants, which berries to avoid, and how animals behaved when danger was near.

“Birds go quiet when something bigger is around,” he explained. “If the forest feels still, pay attention. It’s warning you.”

“You really love it out here,” I said.

"It's the only place I've ever felt free." He glanced back at me. "Out here, hierarchy doesn't matter. You're just another creature trying to survive."

“Doesn’t it get lonely?”

“Sometimes.” His voice softened as he added, “But not as much now.”

The way he looked at me made my heart skip.

Before I could respond, he stopped walking.

"We're here."

The den was almost invisible behind a curtain of thick leaves and vines. If Kael hadn’t known exactly where it was, we would’ve walked right past it.

He pulled the plants aside, revealing a narrow entrance. "Come on. It's better inside."

I followed him through the opening, and the space widened into a natural cave. Smooth stone walls curved around us, and a small opening high above let in the soft evening light.

“It’s beautiful,” I whispered..

"It's safe. That's what matters." Kael set down his pack. "There's a back exit through that tunnel, and a spring for fresh water. We'll be comfortable here."

We spent the next hour setting up camp. Kael built a small fire while I organized supplies. By the time we finished, night had fallen.

"I'll take first watch," Kael said, settling near the entrance. "Get some sleep."

I was exhausted, but I didn't want to sleep yet.

I sat across the fire from him instead. "Tell me a story."

He raised a brow. “A story?”

"About the territories. The different packs. Anything. Just... distract me."

So he did.

He told me about the northern wolves who survived brutal winters. About coastal packs who lived half in water. About desert wolves who could go days without drinking.

His voice was calm, warm, steady.

I didn’t even notice how heavy my eyelids were getting until they drifted closed.

"Sleep," Kael said gently. "I'll wake you for your shift."

I curled up on my bedroll, pulling the blanket close.

And for the first time in days, I fell asleep feeling safe.