THE ROGUE QUEEN

Chapter 14

By midday, I was ready to collapse.

Kael had pushed me through three hours of non-stop combat training. Blocking, dodging, pivoting, countering. My muscles screamed. My lungs burned. Every inch of my body ached.

"Again," Kael said, resetting his stance.

“I need a break,” I groaned.

"You'll get one when you successfully block five attacks in a row."

I groaned but got back into position.

He came at me—left hook, right cross, uppercut. I blocked the first two but missed the third. His fist stopped inches from my jaw.

"Dead," he announced. "Again."

We’d been doing this over and over. I’d reached four blocks twice, but never five. My body was too tired.

My frustration was building with each failed attempt.

"I can't do this," I said, dropping my arms.

"Yes, you can."

"No, I really can't. I'm exhausted. I can barely stand—"

"In a real fight, you won't get to be exhausted. You'll fight until you win or die." His voice was firm but not unkind. "One more round. Give me five blocks."

I wanted to argue. Wanted to sit down and refuse to move.

But the look in his eyes stopped me.

He believed I could do this.

So I had to at least try.

I moved into position, ignoring the way my muscles trembled.

Kael attacked.

Left strike—blocked.

Right punch—blocked.

Uppercut—blocked.

Kick to my ribs—blocked.

Sweep at my legs—

I jumped, barely avoiding it, and my shadows flared instinctively, creating a barrier between us.

Kael stopped immediately. "There."

I blinked, breathing hard. "There what?"

"That's what I've been waiting for. Your instincts taking over. Your wolf and your shadows working together without conscious thought." He lowered his hands. "That's how you'll survive. Not by thinking through every move, but by letting your body know what to do."

I looked down at my hands, where faint wisps of shadow still coiled around my fingers.

“I didn’t even… realize I was using them.”

"Exactly." He moved to the water skins and tossed me one. "Take a break. You've earned it."

I caught it and drank greedily as my body slowly relaxed.

Kael sat down across from me, studying me with those intense amber eyes.

"What?" I asked.

"You're stronger than when we left camp. Not just physically. Mentally too. You're not giving up as easily."

"I tried to give up five minutes ago."

"But you didn't. That's the difference." He took a drink from his own water skin. "At Bloodfang, when things got hard, what did you do?"

I thought about it. "I made myself smaller. Quieter. Tried to disappear."

"And now?"

"Now I... fight back?"

"Exactly." He smiled slightly. "You're learning that you have power. That you don't have to accept everything they throw at you."

The words settled into my chest, warm and solid.

Maybe he was right.

Maybe I was changing.

After lunch, more dried meat and stale bread. Kael declared it was time to work on my shadows specifically.

"I'm not good at this part," I warned. "They just kind of... happen. I don't really control them."

"Then we'll start with the basics." He stood and gestured for me to join him in the center of the chamber. "First, call them. Deliberately. Without emotion."

"How?"

"However feels natural to you. Some wolves visualize. Others feel. There's no right way—just your way."

I closed my eyes and reached for that dark place inside me where the shadows lived.

At first, nothing happened.

Then I felt them stir—curious, responsive.

Come out, I thought at them.

They obeyed.

I opened my eyes to find shadows coiling up my arms like smoke, cool against my skin.

“Good,” Kael said. “Now keep them there. Don’t let them spread. Don’t let them fade. Just hold.”

I focused on keeping the shadows contained, but they kept trying to expand, to reach out toward the walls, the ceiling, Kael.

"They want to move," I said through gritted teeth.

"Of course they do. They're energy. They want to flow. But you're the one in control. Tell them what to do."

"How?"

"The same way you tell your arm to move. You don't think about the mechanics—you just will it to happen."

I tried. Really tried.

But the shadows fought me, pushing back against every ounce of control I tried to hold. After a few minutes, my concentration broke and they slipped away entirely.

I slumped forward, exhausted. "This is impossible."

"It's not. You're just impatient." Kael moved closer. "You've had these powers for less than a week, Selene. You can't expect to master them immediately."

"Everyone else seems to master their wolf immediately."

"Everyone else doesn't have shadow manipulation on top of their wolf. And most wolves grow up learning to control their shift gradually. You got everything at once. You’re not everyone else.” He stepped closer. “You’re dealing with two powers at once. A wolf you just met and shadows you never even knew you existed. He tilted my chin up, forcing me to meet his eyes. "Cut yourself some slack."

"I don't have time for slack. People are dying because of me—"

"People are fighting because they chose to. That's not the same thing." His grip on my chin was gentle but firm. "You need to stop carrying guilt that isn't yours to carry."

Tears burned behind my eyes. "I don't know how."

"One day at a time. One moment at a time." He released my chin and stepped back. "Now try again. And this time, don't think about camp or hunters or anything else. Just focus on the shadows."

We worked for another two hours.

Slowly, painfully, I began to understand what Kael meant about willing the shadows to obey. It wasn't about forcing them, it was about guiding them. Like redirecting water rather than trying to hold it in your hands.

By the time he finally called for a break, I could maintain the shadows for almost a full minute before losing control.

Progress.

Small, but progress nonetheless.

"Better," Kael said as we cleaned up for dinner. "Tomorrow we'll work on shaping them. Making them do specific things instead of just existing."

"Tomorrow?" I groaned. "Can't we take a day off?"

"Not unless you want to stay weak."

"I was afraid you'd say that."

Dinner was quiet. We were both too tired for conversation.

I found myself stealing glances at Kael when he wasn't looking. The firelight played across his features, highlighting the scar on his jaw, the tired lines around his eyes.

He'd pushed me hard today. Harder than Maya, even.

But he'd also been patient. Encouraging. Never cruel.

"Thank you," I said suddenly.

He looked up. "For what?"

“For today. For all of it. For not giving up on me when I kept wanting to.”

Something shifted in his expression, softness, warmth. "I'll never give up on you, Selene. I promise you that."

The words wrapped around my heart like a vow.

“I don’t deserve you,” I whispered before I could stop myself.

Kael shook his head. “You deserve better than me. Better than all of us.” He set his food aside and leaned forward a little. “But I’m what you’ve got right now, so you’re stuck with me.”

A small laugh escaped me, shaky but real. "I don't want better. I want—" I stopped myself.

"What?" he pressed. "What do you want?"

The question hung between us, heavy with possibility.

What did I want?

I wanted safety. Freedom. To not be hunted.

But I also wanted...

"I want this," I said finally. "This moment. Right here. Where I don't have to be afraid."

Kael didn’t look away. His expression softened even more.

“Then keep it,” he said. “Hold onto this for as long as we have it.”

That night, I took second watch again.

Kael fell asleep quickly, his breathing evening out almost immediately. I settled near the entrance, wrapped in a blanket against the cool night air.

The forest was alive with sound—insects, night birds, the rustle of small animals moving through underbrush. Normal sounds. Safe sounds.

I pulled out Elena's charm again, running my thumb over the smooth wood.

Back at camp, were they safe? Had the hunters come yet? Was anyone hurt?

“You can't know,” my wolf said gently. “And worrying won't change anything.”

“I know. But I can't help it.”

“Then use the energy for something productive. Practice your shadows.”

She had a point.

I held out my hand and called the shadows deliberately. They came easier now, more responsive. I held them there, and focused on maintaining them.

One minute.

Two.

Three.

My hand trembled, but the shadows stayed steady. A small smile tugged at my lips.

I was controlling them, not perfectly, not effortlessly, but I was doing it.

Pride bloomed warm in my chest.

I was learning.

Slowly, yes. But learning.

Maybe Kael was right. Maybe I was stronger than I thought.

Maybe I could do this after all.

The shadows pulsed gently around my hand, almost like they were purring.

And for the first time since this nightmare began, I felt something other than fear.

I felt hope.