The Secrets of Agata

Chapter 5

 I'm not longer in the bed I curled up in just minutes ago, but I'm in a very familiar place.  This world has always been a second home to me, even if things have been changing rapidly. I hate change, the only change I wanted was to change was my freedom. Now, my whole world is upside down.  I'm walking through this forest my head made up, searching for a wolf I have known my whole life, even if I didn't know.  My brain still can not process everything.  Why is Azela just now telling me she's a wolf?  This makes no sense to me, father wont answer questions, mother is gone, and the person I've talked to in my head all my life is a freaking wolf. 

    Following the path I always take, I mentally search for her, trying to pin point exactly where I need to travel.  I fall, tripping over my own two feet, now how is that possible? I look back to check as I notice her. my body is pulling me to move towards this brown wolf that has only introduced herself within the last few days. My brain cant comprehend what my heart is feeling.  There is something strange going on, I cant explain it, I reach down to touch her, even if I don't understand why she is making me wait for answers I still care for her.

"Azela, why are curled up on the path, I figured you would be by the pond. Tell me, what's wrong." I begin to panic when I hear a slight moan, as if she was in pain, "What's wrong! Azela! Please, tell me what can I do for you! I cant lose you too! Azela rolled over to look at me and even in wolf form I could tell she was smiling. "Why are you in pain Azela, tell me now!" She began coughing while trying to speak, "Our bond Tora, we need to repair our bond. You've been upset with me for the last few days, refusing to speak to me or even acknowledge that I exist. Because of this our bond has been straining, I'm more than just your friend in your head Tora.  I know you can sense our bond, the way you feel for me, sense me before you can even see me.  I can not explain it all right now, but you need to understand, I will never leave you, I am here to protect you."  Her breathing is getting heavier as she continues, "I know what happened to your mother is devastating, but it has set the stone in place, you will soon learn the truth of your past.  Once you learn the truth, things that have never seemed right will all make sense. The world you see here, it is not just made up in your head you see, this is my home, this is where I have spent my time over the years teaching, guiding, and protecting you." I'm finally feeling like I'm getting some answers I deserve, even if she not making a whole lot of sense, I kneel down beside her and start to stroke the middle of her head. She lets out a sigh and closes her eyes, I feel her body release tension as I caress her fur and gently hug her.    

     I believe her when she says I will understand soon, something in my heart tells me to just stay calm and keep going.  I don't understand but at the same time my emotions do, I don't feel the weight on my shoulder anymore. I feel at peace, even though I am still deeply sad over mother, I can feel it will all be ok soon.  Azela promises me things will get better, this feeling in my gut means its far from over but I know I will be ok. I lay down beside my wolf just watching the sky and clouds pass us by not saying anything, just taking everything all in at once.  I believe this is the first time I have been able to just breathe without fearing what will happen next. Azela huffs as if she is reading my mind go from one thing to the next. "I can read your mind Tora, I just told you that we are connected. Even if I have no explained how yet, I can read everything about you and soon you will be able to do the same with me."  I just stop, listening and repeating her words over in my head, something I will soon learn doesn't matter because even if I want a private thought, those have never been just mine, they are ours. 

    "Azela, why haven't you came to me about you being a wolf before now?" I pleaded with my eyes, "Tora, your mother never wanted you to speak of me or about me, I heard her explain never to speak allowed of me, I wanted to honor her wishes as long as possible."  I couldn't do anything but blink as she continues, "You see, when you turn eighteen, besides becoming a legal adult, there are other things that will change too. We still have a few weeks but understand I will help you as the time moves forward.  You will begin to learn things you never knew were possible, and I'll be here every step of the way, but for now you have things that need to be taken care of before you can continue. I believe you have a funeral to attend, do you not?"  Oh s**t, I just remembered, father was going to make arrangements today to have mother cremated.  

    I know some prefer to be buried, but in our community, being cremated and having your ashes spread along the river means a great deal. We return our loved one to nature where one day they will return to us.  All of our community will come out to show respects for mother. Some of the elders will even lead our traditional ceremonies, mainly of prayer but I have heard that some of the ceremonies differ based on how highly the community felt of the fallen.  My mom was like a mother to all, always there when anyone needed her, some even referred to her as a beta, even though I'm not entirely sure what that means. She always went about her business each day and never really filled me in on things, just those that I needed to know at the time. 

    "Tora, I think you have slept long enough, I will be here, in sleep or consciousness as you need me. Please return to your family and prepare for the ceremony. I will be there anytime you need."  With that I awoken in the unfamiliar room I fell asleep in, feeling oddly refreshed. I get up determined to make the best out of a horrible situation. I have only been in this house a couple of times, running through the halls frantically looking for father, I can not let him do this with out me. I need to help plan her ceremony, I need to see her, even if it is just one last time.