Stark Raving Naked

Chapter 1-1

Chapter 1“Hello, Michael speaking. Oh, hi, Barry. How are things with you? No, we’re both fine, thanks. Hmm! We got back yesterday. Ah, it was absolutely fabulous. Hot! No, not that sort of hot. We had good weather, good food, and good wine. Sorry, honey, I wouldn’t know if the men were good. Do you forget I’ve got Brad in my life? No, we didn’t go to Mykonos. I thought I told you we were going to Sitges, you know, near Barcelona. Nothing like a good Spanish holiday. Of course, we went to the nude beach. Why else would we go there? No, sweetie. No, I didn’t go whoring among the rocks or into any bushes. My name’s not Barry, you know. I really wouldn’t know if Brad did anything like that, but I hope not.”

As Michael was chatting to Barry, Brad came into the studio to find out who Michael was talking to. Brad also had the same typical Florida tan as Michael but had a less defined body.

“Who’s that?” Whispered Brad.

Michael placed his hand over the mouthpiece. “Barry. Wants to know about our holiday.”

Michael removed his hand from the mouthpiece and continued his conversation with Barry. “Sorry, Barry, what was that? No, we spent most of the time together just enjoying the sunshine and the freedom. Yes, of course, there are times when you’re lying naked on an open beach that things happen. No, dear, not that sort of thing. What I mean is that occasionally you might get a hard-on.”

Brad interjected. “Let me talk to him.”

“Barry, Brad’s just come in, so you can have a word with him for a while. Here he is. Cheers, buddy.”

Michael handed the receiver to Brad and stood up, allowing Brad to sit in the chair in the studio.

“Hi, Barry, how are things, my old friend? It was awesome. and those Spanish men! Ha, ha, you should see Michael’s face. No, I didn’t misbehave. I couldn’t. Michael was my shadow throughout the holiday.”

“I was not,” interrupted Michael.

“I couldn’t break free at all. My every move was monitored,” continued Brad.

“Hell, you talk s**t,” said Michael. “He’s talking s**t, Barry,” shouted Michael loud enough for Barry to hear on the other end of the telephone.

“Yes, we went to a couple of bars and a club, but that was all,” continued Brad. “No, we went home together. I know you don’t believe me, but it’s true. We never got up to mischief while we were there. It was a holiday, like I told you, and now it’s back to business for both of us. No, I go back to work tomorrow, but Michael’s first client is today, I think. I’m just going to laze about the house unless Michael asks me to help with his clients.”

“Fat chance,” replied Michael.

Undaunted, Brad continued. “He’s afraid I might offer extras. No, Michael will never offer a happy ending to his massages. He’s very professional. He wouldn’t do anything like that.

“Like what?” asked Michael, who had temporarily been arranging towels on the small table in the studio.

“Doing extras,” said Brad. “I just think it’s a good way of making extra money, that’s all, but he doesn’t see it that way. Ooh, that would be fun!”

“What would be fun?” enquired Michael.

Brad giggled. “Now Michael’s getting interested.” He then turned to Michael and said, “Barry suggested we should both massage the clients at the same time. You know, four hands instead of two.

“Never! Do you want me to lose my good reputation?” answered Michael, rather indignantly.

“He’s worried about his reputation, Barry. I won’t tell him that. Listen, I can see he’s getting irritable, so I’d better hang up. Are we going to see you soon? Good. Well, give us a call when you want to come round. Take care, sweetness. Love you. Bye.”

Brad replaced the receiver and smiled at Michael with his usual naughty smile.

“You know you’re irrepressible,” remarked Michael.

“Oh, come on, Mike, don’t take me seriously. You know how I like to tease Barry. The poor guy doesn’t get much action, so if we can spice up his life with a few stories, then all the better for him. You should offer him a massage and give him a little extra. That would make his day for him.”

“Why don’t you do it then?”

“Are you suggesting I should give him a blow job or something?”

“Well, it was your idea.”

“Please, Barry’s not my type, even if I was desperate,” replied Brad, exasperated at the thought of doing something with old Barry. “But tell me, when is your first client coming, if you’ll excuse the pun?”

Michael looked at his watch. “He should be here any moment now. What are you going to do today?”

“Nothing, just hang around here, unless you want me to do something for you.”

“I think we could do with some groceries. So while I’m busy, maybe you can go shopping, if that’s okay with you,” said Michael.

“Sure, no problem.”

“Just make a list of what we might need, and if you need any money, take some from my wallet next to the bed.”

“Okay, I’ll see you later then,” replied Brad.

Just then, the front door bell rang.

“Oh, Brad, that might be my client. Won’t you let him in please while I get this place ready?”

“Sure thing. Bye, love.”

Brad kissed Michael and left to answer the front door. Michael got the towels ready and tidied the magazines on the coffee table in the sitting room.

Nick, a good-looking man in his mid-thirties, entered the sitting room. He looked suave, and Michael crossed to meet him. The two men shook hands.

“Morning,” said Nick, politely.

“Hi, you must be Nick.”

“That’s right, and you’re Michael?”

“That’s me. Come in and have a seat,” said Michael, indicating the easy chairs. “I like to have a casual chat with my clients when I first meet them before we get down to the massage, if that’s okay with you. Can I offer you something to drink?”

“No thanks, I won’t have anything. Nice place you’ve got here.”

“Thanks. That is what I call my studio through there,” said Michael, pointing to the studio area off the sitting room. “Now tell me something about yourself.”

“Like what?”

“Well, what do you do for a living?”

“Oh, I see. I’m afraid I’m an accountant. I know some people say that accountants are boring people, but I try not to be.”

“There’s nothing wrong with being an accountant. At least they know how to make money, not like some of us. Do you have any outside interests?”

“I like my sport.”

“Such as?”

“I’m the inevitable football fan, but I don’t think we need go down that road. I also enjoy pottering around my garden, not that I feel I’ve reached the pensionable age when people generally potter.”

“But gardening’s very therapeutic. I don’t think you have to be a pensioner to enjoy gardening. I think just seeing your plants grow is stimulating. But tell me now, why did you come to me?”

“I saw your advert in a magazine, and I thought I’d give you a try.”

“You make it sound as though you’re test driving a car.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.”

“It’s okay. I’m just joking. Have you ever been for a massage before?”

“No. This is the first time.”

“Well, in that case, let’s get to work.”

Michael rose from the seat he was sitting in and pointed in the direction of the studio. “Would you like to go behind that screen and take off your clothes?”

Nick rose from his chair but appeared hesitant.

“You don’t have to worry. We have complete privacy here,” continued Michael.

“And that person who showed me in.”

Michael laughed. “Oh, you don’t have to worry about him. He’s not likely to barge in while we’re busy.”

“Busy!”

“Yes, with the massage. I must remind you that I’m very professional about my work. If you came here with any other ulterior motives, then I’m sorry I’m going to have to disappoint you.”

“Oh, no, I didn’t mean anything like that.”

“Nick, you don’t have to worry about a thing, so get undressed.”

Nick went behind the screen and began to get undressed, while Michael draped a towel over the screen.

“You can wrap this around you when you’re ready.”

“Thanks, Michael. Tell me, do you get many clients?”

Michael began to take off his shirt, leaving him in his vest and tracksuit pants.

“I am kept quite busy, but I also offer options other than massaging. I do counselling for clients who have problems. You know how women tend to turn their hairdressers into their shrinks? Well, I do the same when I’m massaging. On the other hand, if someone simply wants to talk about their problems without having a massage, I do that, too.”

Nick came from behind the screen with the towel wrapped around his waist. Michael smiled as he saw the taut body.

“Hop onto the table, if you don’t mind, and lie on your stomach,” said Michael. “Now just relax. Before we start, I must just ask if you have any physical injuries or pacemakers, or such like.”

“Pacemakers?”

“Yes, I’d hate to push too hard and be the cause of you having a heart attack or breaking a bone in your body because of some unhealed injury you might have got from your baseball.”

“No, I didn’t say I played baseball.”

“But you did, didn’t you? At an earlier age.”

Nick lifted his head to look at Michael. He seemed surprised by what Michael had said. “Yes, but how did you know that?”

“Just call it intuition,” said Michael, laughing.

Michael moved to the side of the table, folded back the towel Nick was wearing, and began to massage Nick’s right leg. Neither spoke as Michael began to work.

“Relax. You’re very tense,” said Michael as he felt the tenseness in Nick’s body.

“I am relaxed.”

“Trust me, you’re not. Relax. I’m not going to hurt you.”

Michael resumed his work on Nick’s right leg.

“I can see from your legs that you definitely were a sportsman. Even if you don’t play sport now, you’ve retained your muscles.”

“Thanks, Michael.”

“Please tell me if I’m pushing too hard or too soft. Some clients like me to push hard as though I’m kneading a loaf of bread, but then, on the other hand, you get some who squeal and complain that I’m pushing too hard.”

“No, you’re doing just fine, thanks.”

Michael continued massaging Nick’s leg for a while in silence.

“You said you were an accountant. Do you work in the city?”

“Yes.”

“And do you enjoy the work?”

“I suppose it can get a bit repetitive at times, but it’s not too bad.”

“Yes, you are the guys who rule the world.”

“Meaning?”

“Well, if you think about it, it’s not the politicians who rule the world, but rather the economists and accountants. Finances rule everything.”

“Do you really think so?” asked Nick.

“Think about it. Why are there so many on-going wars around the world? The arms manufacturers need money, so they create wars. We haven’t found a cure for the common cold. Why? Because the pharmacists would be out of work then.”

“I see what you mean. Maybe you have a point there.”

After a few moments of massaging in silence, Michael asked a question.

“Tell me Nick, who’s Brenda?”

Nick tensed and lifted his head up and turned to look at Michael. “I beg your pardon?”

“I’m sorry. Who was Brenda?”

“Where did you get that name from?”

“I don’t know, but I’m suddenly picking up on that name. Do you know someone by that name?” continued Michael.

“I’d rather not say.”

“I’m sorry, but I didn’t mean to upset you in any way. It’s just that the name Brenda came into my head as I was working on your leg. You probably think I’m nuts, don’t you?”

“No, not at all. It’s just weird you said that name.”

“Oh, you’ll get used to me. This sort of thing often happens.” Michael laughed and resumed work on Nick’s right leg. “What’s troubling you, Nick?”

Nick remained silent for a while before answering. “Nothing.”