Uprising

Chapter 3

"So what is going on with you?" Xander asked softly, next to me. I turned my head to look at him and felt the wind sting my eyes, making my eyes water a little.

"I don't know." I told him simply. "I just..."

"Just what?" Xander stopped and stood so his back was against the wind and I was in a bit of shelter from his body. I could still feel the cold bite of the wind and I knew I could make it go away in a heartbeat, but there was something refreshing and normal about it.

"I just feel... lost." I told him honestly. I noticed a small smile cross his face as he took my hand again and then led me in a different direction so that the wind was on our backs this time.

"I know how that feels." He laughed quietly. "The last time I heard, things were going brilliantly between you and your boyfriend."

"It is." I told him as a sigh escaped my lips. "It's just the whole secret thing. I hate him not knowing and I hate having to lie about things."

"But if you think he's the one, then he'll accept you for who you are, Isabelle. You shouldn't have to hide who and what you are." Xander stopped again for a moment and I felt his stern gaze on me. "Unless there's something else that's going on that your not telling me about."

I let out a sigh and pulled my hand free of his, as I was beginning to feel guilty. "I've been having bad nightmares, Xander, about that night." I stopped and looked down at the ground as I tried to get my brain to string together where this conversation was going on my behalf. "It's been getting worse every night. I thought it was because I'm nearly of age to become a full witch." I looked up at Xander to see him watching me and listening to what I had to say intently.

"But you think it's not that." He shoved his hands into his pockets as we both just stood in the middle of the street talking. It was strange how anyone else who was out seemed to be hurrying quickly to get to their destination and yet here we were talking casually in the middle of a freezing wind. It wasn't only that; it was also the fact that I was a witch and he was a vampire that seemed funny in my head, like a bad joke.

"I don't know what to think now after speaking to Cordelia." I told him simply again as I shivered a little. "Cordelia..."

"She knows things, Isabelle. And if she said something that is making you doubt yourself, then she will be right on what she told you."

"That's the thing." I told him as I looked around the streets to try and gain my composure so I didn't freak out all over again. "She told me she could feel a shift in power happening and asked if I could feel it."

"What did you say?"

"No." I told Xander as my hand went to my throat again and I held on to my necklace under my coat and top. "I told her maybe it was because of the necklace she gave me; maybe it dulled my senses of things like that..." My hand dropped away from my necklace, but as much as I wanted to say that had been the reason I'd not felt what Cordelia had, something inside of me seemed to argue that I knew it wasn't true.

"What do you think, Isabelle? What do you really think? If there is one thing I know about witches and warlocks, it is that they know their instincts, and that never guides them wrong." I took a deep breath and looked up at Xander from the question, as I could feel my heart hammering hard in my chest. I went to open my mouth to answer him, but shut it, and then tried again. The second time, my words came out.

"I don't think it is." I told him quietly. "I don't think it has anything to do with my protection necklace in the least. Cordelia told me I had to keep myself safe and I think since I've heard those words from her, it's set me on edge and made me doubt myself and my choices in life." I let out a slow sigh and turned my head to the side to look away, as I couldn't look into his gaze any longer.

"Cordelia told you that, probably because she is purely worried about you, with you coming of age soon." I felt Xander's hand on my cheek as he turned my head to look at him. I didn't bother to fight with him; after all, how was I going to win against a vampire who was like a million times stronger than me?

"I will be honest, though. I am also worried about you because you are coming of age soon. By now, you've had a mentor to guide you and you'll be getting ready to say your vows of the coven on your birthday. It has been many years since the coven has seen or heard of you and Cordelia, but Cordelia is right; there's something stirring Isabelle. It has been nearly ten years since that night and it's no coincidence that you've been dreaming of that night. Maybe there's something inside of you that is awakening and it knows something about what happened ten years ago, but because it was dormant, maybe the only way it can make sense of what happened is by making you relive that night."

I frowned a little at where Xander had gone with the conversation and looked into his eyes. "Do you know something I don't, or can you see, smell, or whatever it is vampires do that is different about me?"

Xander laughed, still keeping hold of my face in his hand, moved a bit of hair out of my face for me and then kissed my forehead.

"What I do or don't know or can or can't smell has nothing to do with this Isabelle. You are a good girl and you've done nothing wrong to me and I do not blame you for anything nor do I hold anything against you, unlike some people."

"What do you mean?" I asked him, feeling my heart hammering hard against my chest. What was he talking about? I had no clue but I just hoped that he'd be honest with me, as honest as I'd been with him.

"Some people blame you for Cordelia leaving the coven; some people blame you for the fire that night."

"It wasn't..." I began while Xander put one gloved finger to my lips to quiet me down in the moment.

"I know it wasn't you, Isabelle. Cordelia is a woman who will do what she wants and won't take anyone else into account unless she wants to take someone else into account. At the moment, the only person she is taking into account is you. Everything she does is for you, Isabelle, to keep you safe, because the night she took you with Dominic from the house, she took you in to protect you and keep you safe from this chaos that is coming." Xander lowered his finger from my lips. "It doesn't matter how much any of us want to argue with it; we know chaos is coming and as much as we want to protect you from it, your going to end up getting swept up in it, just like every other innocent person who doesn't deserve to be swept up in it."

My head turned over to what Xander had said as I bit my lip, feeling it c***k and then bleed into my mouth. Had this been the change that Cordelia had been talking about? I didn't know but it worried me. If Xander was worried about it too, then this change certainly did mean trouble for everyone.

"If your human means a lot to you, Isabelle, then you need to do everything you can to keep him safe. If that means telling him the truth, then tell him the truth, but only you know what he means and what you are willing to do to keep him safe. Maybe that will keep your nightmares at bay, as they could be a sign that your scared of what happened to you."

"Maybe..." I mulled over his words again for a moment. "Thank you." I whispered to Xander. I wasn't sure if part of me needed to hear any of that conversation or not, but part of me had been pleased that Xander had been the one who had laid it out on the line for me like that, while another part of me had been upset that it hadn't been Cordelia who hadn't had that conversation with me. Probably because you'd have argued with her and would have tried to get more information out of her than you needed to know, she probably told Xander to not tell you too much, but enough to warn you.

"Shall we head back?" Xander dropped his hand from my face and offered me it again.

"Before we do, tell me honestly, did Cordelia ask you to tell me this?"

Xander smiled at me with the rebellious smile I remembered from the night that I'd left Viktor's house. I knew the smile meant mischief in his own little way. Part of that conversation had come from Cordelia, but then part of the conversation had come from him too.

"She asked me to get you to see sense and get rid of that human; as she said, he's going to cause you nothing but trouble in the long run, but you know me. I am all for free will and learning from mistakes, so of course I had that conversation and tried to be as neutral about it all as possible. Now, shall we get you back? I should be getting home; otherwise, Viktor and Dorian will be wondering where I got lost too."

I didn't ask anything else as I took Xander's hand and we both walked back to my house together in silence. I wondered what Xander was thinking about, but as fast as that thought came up, my mind began to turn over everything all over again. I knew any signs of sleep certainly weren't going to be happening tonight. It was going to be a long day at college today with minimal sleep.

We got back to my house much faster than I'd liked, and I went and unlocked the door to the house, then gave Xander a hug, thanked him, and said our goodbyes. Xander said he'd catch up again with me soon and left to go back to his nest. I shut the door, threw my keys in the bowl, took off my coat and scarf and let out a small sigh as I ran my hand through my wind-swept hair. I'd hoped that talking to Xander would have cleared things up for me; instead, it had just given me more questions than answers.

I went and sat on the sofa, kicked off my shoes and threw myself back, lying and looking up at the ceiling as my head turned over everything. Xander had been right; why should I have been afraid of keeping who I really was a secret from Danny? At the end of the day, if he really did love me, then, like Xander had said, he would accept me for me. What if he doesn't? What if he leaves you and calls you a freak? I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

"For this to work, he needs to know." I muttered to myself. I needed to tell him and I needed to tell him before my birthday. I couldn't keep this up anymore; I needed to be accepted for me, not this fake face I was putting on.

"I'll talk to him tomorrow after I get back from work." I finally decided as I put my arm over my eyes and I prayed that I didn't regret the choice I'd talked myself into.