Uprising

Chapter 20

I knew I wasn't going to be able to sleep anytime soon, so I decided to go through the box of stuff that Tori had brought over for me. In the box were my clothes, which I'd left in case I'd slept over and a few other bits I'd left in case I'd slept over. I'd been fine until I found a picture that Dan had clearly put in to hurt me. I picked it up and looked at it for a moment but I felt a wave of anger sweep across me again, so I threw the picture against the opposite side of the room's wall and the glass shattered everywhere.

Why had everyone decided to push me to my limits at the same time? I had no idea, but I certainly told myself I wasn't allowing myself to play any part in any of their stories. I'd write my own fate, regardless of what Cordelia knew or wanted me to do.

I stood up and left the clothes and other stuff littering the floor. I knew I'd have to clean it up in the morning, but at the moment, I didn't feel like doing it. I went and snatched up my phone and as I did, it began to vibrate in my hand. I glanced down to see Xander's name come up on my phone. I let out a slow breath and then decided against answering it. I couldn't take anymore today; I really couldn't. The span of the last forty-eight hours had broken me and if I heard another bit of bad news, I couldn't be sure I'd go on a murder spree, starting with Dan.

The phone stopped vibrating in my hand for a moment and then started again as I saw it was Xander again. I let out a sigh and ignored the phone call again as I went to go down the hallway and up to bed to lay and ponder just what I was going to do tomorrow. The phone stopped again and as I got up the third step, a knock on my door echoed around the hallway.

"I know your home." I let out a sigh.

"What about if I don't want to talk to anyone anymore tonight?" I called to Xander. I knew he wasn't going to give up so easily as the rest of them would. After all, he'd spent days and days gaining my trust when I'd been eight, so why would he just back off and leave me now?

"Don't make me use that spare key you gave me." I could hear humour in his voice at the idea of him using a key when I could picture him just bursting through the door if it had come to it.

"Let yourself in. Excuse the mess in the living room; I'll be down in a minute." I told him as I ran up the stairs and went and put my phone on charge. I figured if my phone was upstairs out of sight and out of mind for me, then if anyone called or texted me, I wouldn't have to deal with them at all. After I'd done what I'd wanted to do, I headed back down to find Xander standing in my living room, looking around.

"Having a sort-out?"

"Something like that." I answered as a small shiver ran through me. "Anyway, what's up?" I asked, kicking the clothes to the side, making Xander laugh a little at me.

"I don't think you can kick the glass. I cleaned it up for you, as I didn't want you cutting yourself." He shook his head a little. "I came to check in on you. I was out on business with Viktor tonight and you never answered my phone calls..."

"Sorry." I muttered, feeling a little bad that I'd done that. "It's been..."

"One hell of a day?" Xander finished. "Grab your coat and shoes and we'll go for a walk."

I went to argue, but I knew better than to argue with the vampire who stood before me. He had a way of getting his own way every single time and if I argued with him, it would only make him feel better when he got his own way, so I went and got my shoes and coat and got ready to go for a walk with him.

When I was sorted, he gestured for me to go in front, so I did, and he went and locked the door behind me and then offered me his arm, as he always seemed to do when we went for our late-night strolls together. He usually came to visit when he was worried, when something was on his mind or when he knew something was going on with me. I guessed that tonight he'd found out about my fight with Cordelia and had come to ask me about it.

We walked together in silence for a little while as we passed a few people and then he seemed to slow down and look at me with a look full of worry.

"I heard a whisper that you were out with Jacob Blackwell today."

"Oh..." His words took me by surprise, as I hadn't expected this to be the topic of the conversation at all.

"Oh? Is that all you have to say?"Xander laughed softly.

"Umm, sorry, you just took me by surprise with what you said. I thought you'd come to ask me what had happened with Cordelia." I could feel my cheeks burning a little against the cold wind. I knew he'd either said the comment to get me to talk about Cordelia or he'd honestly not known, which was strange as usually Cordelia used Xander to get to the bottom of things with me.

"Cordelia?" He seemed just as surprised as I had been when he'd brought up Jake. "What happened? I haven't spoken to her in a few days in fairness, she seems to have been busy with other things."

"Cordelia and I got into a pretty bad arguement earlier and then I drove just to escape and ended up at the beach and then Jake called me to check in and he was at home... So he ended up coming and meeting and we just hung out together just to forget our problems." I shrugged a little as if it hadn't been a big deal. "Why?" I asked.

"Just be careful. He's been on the case of the Order of Blood. I know they've been following you around and then last thing I want is you wrapped up in that and getting hurt." Xander led the way until we found a bench and he freed my arm and we sat down next to each other.

"I know." I told him simply. "And as much as you like Eric don't want me wrapped up in it all, sadly I am." I looked up at Xander as I saw a c***k in his well constructed mask. "Did you know?" I asked.

"I knew what they wanted with you, yes." Xander answered. "I had to respect your aunt's request about keeping it to myself." He took my hand in his cold, marbled hand. "I tried to encourage her to tell you everything about the order because I knew it was going to come and creep up on you like it has."

I bit my lip a little and looked down at my lap as I nodded a little. I knew Xander and I knew he didn't lie. "What else do you know?" I asked him quietly. "Do you know about my mum?" I asked him simply as I looked up at him again, barely seeing his dark eyes in the darkness.

"I never knew your mother." He let go of my hand as his mask seemed to slide back into place firmly, as if he knew it was going to be a tough conversation to have with me and he knew I needed him to be the Xander I knew him to be. "I've only ever known yourself and your aunt."

"She's alive." I whispered to him as I tried not to let my voice c***k and break. "All this time, she's known she's alive and ok and Cordelia never told me."

"Maybe..." Xander began but then broke off, shaking his head as if deciding to forget what he was saying.

"Would you have kept it a secret all this time?" I looked at Xander, as I could feel myself shivering. It hadn't been from the cold air; it had been something in me that seemed to break just a little more in me and had left me cold to my very core.

"If it were I, I would have kept it a secret until you adapted to your new life here and then sat down and been honest with you." Xander answered. "It doesn't seem fair to keep such a secret from her own daughter."

"Would you still have done that had my mum told you not to tell me?"

"I cannot answer what I would have done in that situation." Xander answered as he got up, took off his own jacket and put it over my shoulder. "She probably asked your aunt to keep it a secret to protect you, Isabelle."

I snuggled into his jacket and turned over the thought. I knew they'd both done what they'd done to protect me but it still hurt finding out the truth the way I had done.

"Just like you did what you had to do to protect yourself by keeping everything a secret about yourself." Xander smiled a little and looked up at the stars. "We do what we have to do to protect our young and to protect ourselves. Sometimes we do things we aren't proud of to protect people we love. Do you think it would have been any easier hearing that news when you were younger than it was hearing it today? I certainly know that if I was in your shoes I'd have rather of heard it as an adult than as a child because as an adult, you know how to react. You know how to regulate yourself and how to protect yourself if you take yourself away from it all. If you were a child and heard that, what would you have done? Ran away? If you had then who would have protected you and kept you safe from everything out there? If you'd ran away then they could have easily taken you and waited for the right time and hurt you for their plan." Xander shrugged a little. "As an adult, you can defend yourself as you have better control."

I really hadn't thought about the whole situation the way he'd said it. I'd thought about it as a selfish child who had just lashed out and had wanted Cordelia to hurt just as much as I'd been hurting all that time because I never knew the truth.

"It's ok if you got angry and lashed out. It's a shock to anyone finding out after all this time that you believed she wasn't here; you find out she's actually alive and ok." Xander took my hand and gave it a little squeeze, as if he'd hoped to comfort me. "And if I know Cordelia, she'll understand why you lashed out, because she knows she hurt you by telling you the truth and trust me, she'd never want to hurt you intentionally. That woman has done everything in her power to protect you since you both left Mirror's Edge."

"I know." I whispered to him softly. "I just feel so ashamed of the way I behaved now." I looked down at his hand, which was still holding my hand.

"Because the anger has had its chance to be tamed and you've had a chance to think about it much more clearly than you did when it first happened." Xander whispered quietly. "What matters now is what you do next."

I didn't speak to begin with. I knew I needed to try and patch things up with Cordelia and to try and fix things, but I still wasn't ready to face the woman who had lied to me all these years, as I was scared the red mist of my anger would raise it's head to strike again.

"I need to fully accept everything before I fix this mess." I told him softly.

"Time and space is the best things for anger; that way, when you are trying to fix things, you'll be calmer." Xander seemed to agree with me with a smile as I looked up at him. "Just don't leave it too long, would be my advice." He let go of my hand, put his arm around me, gave me a light hug, and then let me go quickly. "Cordelia will always forgive you, Isabelle. You and Cordelia are alike in so many ways and I can tell you she is proud of you, she respects you more than most of her kind and she will always forgive you as your not only her niece; to her, you are like the daughter she never had, which is why she will always try and make things better between you two."

My hand went up to wipe away a tear from Xander's words. In all the time I'd known Xander, the only time he seemed to get like this was in private away from other vampires with those he trusted the most. I guessed it had been because, as the next vampire king, he couldn't be seen as being weak in the eyes of the other vampires and having an emotional moment with someone would probably be seen as weakness to vampires.

"Did Cordelia ask you to come and check on me?" I asked him quietly.

"No. Like I said I haven't spoken to her in days. And like I said, I came to check in on you after I'd heard you'd been with Jacob Blackwell today, but now I understand why." He nodded to himself as if he was happy. "And in fairness, I probably have to thank him for distracting you before you did something you regretted."

"Why did you worry?" I asked him quietly.

"His father is Creed Blackwell. Creed is... well... shall we say a character and someone I really would hope you never cross in your life, however if you are friends with Jacob, then sadly your path with him will probably cross. Just remember if you ever do meet him Isabelle, be careful around him. He has a bit of a shady past which I am sure Cordelia will tell you also, so just keep your guard up and be careful what you say around him."

"I'll try and remember that." I told him softly.

"From what I've heard, his son is nothing like his father; thankfully, otherwise, I really would be worried for you, Isabelle, but anyway, that is me crossing a line into your personal life and I do not deserve to make a judgement on your personal life. That is yours to live as you see fit."

"You seem to be the only one who thinks like that." I muttered to him quietly. "Which makes me appreciate you even more, Xander." I heard Xander laugh quietly again and then looked up at the sky. "Such a beautiful, clear night." I told him softly.

"Mmm. Night is always a beautiful part of the day, if you ask me." We both laughed softly at his comment. "So, what happened to that picture?"

I told him all about Dan sending Tori with the box and then Tori telling me about the party and also about inviting Dan and the party being hosted by someone who had a crush on me. Xander laughed and told me that if I'd wanted a lift home, he'd arrange for someone to pick me up and take me home. I thanked him and told him that Eric and Jen were invited so I could get a lift back with them. After that conversation, I asked Xander about what had been going on in his life, as he'd told me all about going on his own a few years ago and about how he had his own nest now. I welcomed the distraction of Xander's life over my own as I made a mental note to go and see him at some point at his nest.

Xander looked at his watch and laughed quietly to himself. "I should get you home; we don't want people talking, do we?"

"What people?" I laughed softly. "There's not been anyone in a while, Xander."

"Still. It's almost midnight, you're in college in the morning and you have a birthday party to attend too. Don't forget." Xander seemed to laugh hard at his comment about the party as he got up and then offered me his hand. I took it and then got up myself.

"Don't remind me." I muttered a little darkly. "Do you think I can get away with the excuse that I've broken my leg?"

"I don't think so." Xander laughed again, offering me his arm and I slipped my own into his and began to walk with him, feeling lighter again, like I had when I'd been with Jake. What had it been about Xander that had always made everything seem easier, just like everything seemed easier after being with Jake?

I didn't dwell on the question in my brain as I walked with Xander, laughing and talking with him, the whole way back to my house again. When we got back, he unlocked the door for me and ushered me inside and as I did, I flicked on the lights, as I knew I was certainly ready for bed now after being out in the fresh air with Xander for so long.

I took off his jacket and he put it on and then went into a pocket. "Before, I forget to give you this." He laughed softly. "Happy birthday. It is from Viktor and I." He seemed to grin as if he were pleased as he handed me a small box wrapped in brown paper with a silver bow on top. "Another reason I came." He confessed as if he'd been caught.

"Thank you." I took the present and carefully opened it. Inside was a black jewellery box. I opened it to find a necklace with a blood-red stone set at the base of the drop that had gold butterflies just above it. "It's beautiful." I looked up at him. "Xander, I really can't."

"The stone was from Viktor and I thought you'd like it set in a necklace to keep it safe." He laughed. "And I promise you can." He took the box from me and then took it out, put it around my neck and clasped it together so that the stone sat in the hollow of my throat. "It is a stone of the vampires. This one is one of the king's stones. If you ever run into trouble with vampires, show them your necklace, and they will back off if they don't want trouble from Viktor and I." He laughed and then kissed my cheek lightly. "Happy birthday and welcome to your new adventure as a follower of the goddess." He placed his hand on his heart, bowed to me, and then stood up.

"I'm still me." My hand went up to my new necklace and touched it, then touched my necklace that Cordelia had given me.

"I'm sure great things will come of you, Isabelle, and I get the feeling you will follow in the footsteps of your aunt, and one day I will be proud to work along side you as you become a priestess and set everything right."

"Xander, let's be real; that's never going to happen." I laughed a little.

"You never know. Just don't forget us little people who helped you." He winked and then laughed. "Good night, Isabelle, and have a lovely birthday for me."

"I'll try." Xander began to walk down the hallway towards the door. "Thank you, though, and would you tell Viktor thank you also?"

"I will. Get yourself off to bed. I'll lock the door for you."

"Remind me the next time to take that key off you." I laughed softly, then went and kissed his cheek lightly, then moved back and watched him leave. I stood in the hallway for a few moments longer until I heard the click of the lock and then went back into the living room after turning off the hallway light. I looked around and knew I needed to tidy the floor, but I'd began to feel exhausted.

"It can wait." I muttered to myself as I put the lamp on, then turned off the main light and laid on the sofa after taking my coat off. As soon as my head hit the pillows on the sofa, sleep began to beckon me and I didn't argue with the call in the slightest. I needed sleep and I needed it now if I was to even think about functioning in the morning. I closed my eyes and welcomed the darkness that swept me up and dragged me under.