maggieveach@g*******m

Hunter's Choice Chapter 12

Chapter 12: Coat of Paint

-----Cassie's Perspective-----

I blink my crust covered eyes open. God, I'm exhausted. Why am I? Oh. No, no, no, no, no. I can't deal with this. I can't process this. Mal killed my Father. He was the one who took him from me. There are no words for the pain in my chest. No ways to describe the agony in my heart. 

"You are awake. How are you feeling?" I look over to see Mal sitting in the chair, his hair is disheveled and his clothes are wrinkled. Guess he slept there. He has concern etched into his deep blue eyes. A tumultuous sea of worry. 

I get up and go to the closet. I pick out an outfit to wear for the day. 

"Please say something, Cassandra." I can feel him behind me. His presence used to be such a comfort. Like a blanket. Now, I don't know what to feel. When Julian betrayed my trust, I ran. That was in part to save him the pain of me rejecting him. I also did it because I didn't want to be pinned down. I wanted my freedom. So, I ran. I could've run from Mal. My Mother offered to give me a pass. She was ready to take me back in. 

Why didn't I go with her? Why? Because she wants to chain me down. No, that's not it. My Mother called me a monster. She wants me dead. She doesn't even care about Dad. Didn't even have the decency to tell me sooner. To help ease the weight of my grief. She is the monster. She is the greater evil. I put the clothes on the bed. 

"I know I can never take back what I did. All I can do is apologize and beg for your forgiveness. I am so sorry for taking your Father from you. There are no words to explain the regret I feel for my actions." I look up at him. He seems so small now. So small. 

I can't forgive him. I know why he did it. He was protecting his people, he was doing what he always does. I saw it last night. He was ready to kill every last hunter to keep me safe. That's who he is. He will kill for those he cares about. And I'm one of those people. I don't want to be. I don't want him to care about me. I want him to hate me. To treat me like any other hunter. Then, I can hate him. Then, I can lash out at him. Hurt him for the hurt he caused me. 

"Please, love. Please say something." 

"No." He looks confused. I realize he's not going to leave. So, I take the clothes and change in the bathroom. I'm wearing a blood red t-shirt, and black pants. I step out and grab my go coat. 

"I'm hunting. Come if you want." I walk out of the room and start down the hall. I can feel him like a shadow behind me. There are other vamps around, guess it's night time. I must've slept a while. They all look at me with sympathy. Dammit. Don't look at me like that. I jot down the stairs and there's the witch girl. 

"I thought you'd be gone by now." 

"I don't have anywhere to go." I look at her. Her hair is brushed and she's wearing new clothes. That's good. 

"What do you mean?" 

"My parents...died. My coven doesn't want me. I'm alone." I look at her kaleidoscope eyes. I can see the pain there. I know that pain. It's the kind that burrows deep in you and never leaves. 

"I'm sorry. You can be mine, if you want." Her eyes light up. 

"Really?" 

"Yeah, really. I'm going on a hunt, protecting people. That's what I do. But, I promise you I will always come back to you. We got a deal?" I hold my hand out and she hugs me. 

"Yes!!" Damn, she's adorable. 

"Alright. Now, I'm Cassie. What's your name?" 

"My name's Dirt." Wait, what? 

"Excuse me?" 

"That's what my parents called me. Cause I was always dirty." s**t. 

"We're changing it. Pick a new name, have it by the time I come back, okay?" She nods vigorously. So cute. I can feel a bit of light shine on my heart. Doesn't stop the thunder crashing around. But, it does ease it a bit. 

"Good, I'll be back soon." I pat her on the head the way my Dad used to. Dammit, don't think about him. Not now, anyway. I step outside and feel Mal behind me. 

"That was a kind thing you did, love." 

"Didn't ask for your opinion." I go out the gate with my coat billowing behind me. I need to hunt. I'm good at hunting. I need to do something I'm good at. I need this. I glide down the streets and there's not many people around. Hopefully it's not a slow night. I hate slow nights. 

I flow through the city, taking in all the shadows, nooks and crannies. I keep my ears open for any sign of distress. Damn, it's so slow. I need a hunt. A good hunt. Please give me that. A scream. Perfect! 

I run towards the sound, running down the alley ways. It's always in the alleys. I can feel Mal behind me. I turn one more corner and find a woman on the ground. There are a few hunters around her. She is curled up in a ball, trying to protect herself. Dammit, these sons of bitches! 

They look up at my arrival. 

"Oh look, it's the traitor. Now, we'll have some real fun." 

"Oh yeah, Daddy's girl here will be easy pickings." f**k them. 

I unsheathe my blade. There are three of them. This will be easy. Like slicing butter. I go to the right and push my blade into asshole number 1. It goes through his chest and I push him off towards the other two who are coming at me. Asshole number 1 goes into asshole number 2. I dodge number 3 and cut my blade through his neck. The blood spurting from his veins. He falls grasping his throat. I leave him there. Go over to asshole 2 who has pushed the corpse of asshole 1 off of him. He grips his blade and swings nearly cutting my face. I hear Mal growling. I side step and drive my blade into his skull. I can feel the meat and bone colliding. The force of my blade spattering viscera everywhere. I yank it out and wipe it on asshole number 3's pants. 

"That was impressive." I look over to Mal, his eyes glowing in the night. His fangs are out. They're sharp and ready to pierce. Just like that night, I'm sure. 

"Turned on by the blood, are we? Go ahead and drink. I have a damsel to rescue." I turn from him towards the woman on the ground. She has backed herself into the wall. Everyone is always so afraid of me. Must be my stunning personality. 

"It's alright, I won't hurt you. Promise." She looks up at me. 

"How can I know that? You're a hunter. And the way you killed them." I can see her far away stare at the c*****e. I look over and the bodies are gone, but the blood is still on the pavement. Some things can't be erased. No matter how hard you try. 

"I know. I get it. I'm not like other hunters. I protect the innocent and punish the evil. That's me. But, I understand if you don't trust me. If you're not injured then I'll just go." 

"I'm not too hurt." 

"Good to know. Then I'll go. Have a safe night." I turn back the way I came. Mal just appears by my side. Can't seem to get rid of him. I walk out of the alley. I feel the wind pick up and go through my hair. It was a night like this. He went out and he didn't come home. He was just gone. I turn back towards the castle. 

"Are you done for the evening?" 

"Yeah." I continue walking and feel the night air. It's actually a gorgeous night. If this was some other time, I'd be thinking this was romantic. That Mal and I could take a stroll and flirt. He'd flash that charming smile and I'd say something clever. But....that's another life ago. When things were less complicated. When I didn't know. Now, I know. I was sleeping. I'm awake now. 

We get to the castle and I go inside the doors. And all of a sudden, there's a hugging kid on me. Damn, so cute. Her blond head snuggled into me. 

"So, have you decided on a name?" She pulls back and grins at me. 

"Yeah, I have. It's a good one, too." 

"Well, I'm not getting any younger. Tell me." 

"My name is Dani." What the heck? 

"Um, isn't that a guy's name?" 

"It's short for Daniella. But, I don't want to be Ella, cause that isn't special. That's boring. So, I picked Dani." Okay. Weird, but cute. 

"Alright. And what made you choose Daniella in the first place?" 

"I thought you'd like it, cause it was your Papa's name." I feel the lightning crash in my chest. I look into her eyes. Her sweet innocent eyes. How does she know my Dad's name? 

"Um, sweetie, how do you know his name?" 

"Oh, I was watching last night. I saw everything. Your Momma is mean." 

"Yeah. She is. That's why I'm here instead." 

"Right. If you don't like it, I can always change it." I can see the hurt in her eyes. God, she's so easy to hurt. 

"No, it's a great name. Keep it." I pat her on the head. She's smiling from ear to ear. It's nice making her happy. She reminds me of myself. All alone in the world with no one to care for her. No one to love her. Completely alone. No child should grow up that way. I mean, I had my Mother. But, she was so distant. I had Julian. But....he didn't understand. No one understands. 

"Um...I was wondering, if I could call you.....Momma?" This kid is full of surprises. 

"Is there a reason why?" 

"Well, you said that I was yours. So...I thought....I could be your child. And you could be my Momma. And not the mean kind but the good kind. Not that I would know." God, she's been through so much. And so have I. 

"Of course you can call me Momma. And you are mine. Forever. No matter what. There is nothing you could say or do to make you not mine. Do you hear me?" 

"I hear you, Momma." 

"Good." I pat her on the head again. This feels right. Having someone count on me. Having someone to come home to, to be with. I feel the ache in me. There's an absence in me. It's my Dad. No, not just that. There's something missing. I turn to see Mal smiling at me. Damn that charming smile. My heart pulls on me, fills me with fresh cuts. Ouch. I turn away from him and go up the stairs. I can't face him. I can't. 

I can feel him. Damn, he really needs to stop following me. He needs to leave me alone. Why can't he just give up on me already? There's no chance in hell I will ever forgive him for this. He took the one person who understood me. The one person who loved me. He took my Father. I will never forgive him. I place my go coat on the post of the bed. 

"We need to talk, love. Please, just talk to me." 

"There's nothing to say." I sit down on the bed and start to take off my boots. 

"Please talk to me. Hell, yell at me if you wish. Anything is better than the silence you are giving me." I look up at him. His eyes are full of that concern. The same concern he's been having ever since I found out. He didn't have that concern when he killed my Father. Where was the concern then? Why don't I just lay into him? Why don't I scream and yell? I take off my other boot. 

I don't know. I should yell. I should curse and lash out at him. I should hurt him in so many ways until there's nothing left. But...I don't want to. Why? Why don't I want to? Why? Because my Father would've killed him. Wait, what? My Dad would've killed Mal given the chance. I wouldn't be sitting here talking to him if my Dad had come back. 

If Dad had come back. I would've had him in my life. I would've been loved. I would've had someone who cared. Who truly cared. But then.....I wouldn't have Mal. I wouldn't have his deep sea kindness eyes or his smile. I wouldn't have all the ways and feelings of his laugh. I wouldn't have his support or his care. I wouldn't have his kiss. I wouldn't have Mal. He wouldn't be here. My Dad isn't here. He isn't here because of Mal. 

"Please, Cassandra. I am begging you. Talk to me." He goes to his knees. 

All of the wonderful moments, gone. And yet, I feel like there's something I'm missing. Something important. My Dad knew just the way I think. He always knew what was on my mind. He understood me. Just like....Mal. s**t! It's true what they say about daughters dating men like their Dad. But that's not all. If that was it, I wouldn't be able to do this. What am I doing? What am I thinking? There's something I can't figure out. I wish my Dad was here. With his reassuring smile and his pat on my head. Wait, the pat. That's it. I pat Dani on her head, just like he did to me. He isn't completely gone. He lives in me, in my memories of him. 

"I'm sorry. I needed to think something through. Give me one more moment." Mal looks up at me with tears on his cheeks. The blood runs down his face. Vampires cry blood, weird. Focus, Cassie. 

Dad isn't completely gone. He's inside of me. In my actions, in all the things I do. I carry him with me. Alright, that's good to know. But, what does it all mean? I can't forgive Mal. I can't. I want to. God, I want to. I want to forgive him. 

Because Mal is the one who has been here for me when my world turned upside down. He was the one at my back when I confronted my Mother and Julian. He is the one who is always there with his kind words and his support. He's the one I want to be with. He's the man I choose. I can't choose him! I can't!! He killed my Father, my Dad. He took those fangs and ripped his throat out and left him to bleed. The blood staining the pavement just like tonight. No, I can't!!!! I get up. Mal stands up from where he was kneeling. 

"You're right. We need to talk. So, let's talk." I need to do this. I need to confront him. I'll go crazy if I don't. 

"Where do you wish to begin, love?" 

End of Chapter 12