maggieveach@g*******m

Hunter's Choice Chapter 7

Chapter 7: Around the Bend 

I can feel the grass beneath my feet. The wind blowing through my hair. Every breath going in and out of me. God, I never thought I'd be this nervous. Mal is with me. I don't have to be this nervous. s**t, I'm relying on a vampire to calm my nerves. Man, things have really switched around. Alright, here goes. 

"Hello Hunterdom!!" I wave my arms around. A bunch of spotlights turn on. Good, I've got their attention. 

"Can you hear me?!!" The front doors open and a swarm of hunters file out, including my Mother and....Julian. s**t. This is hard. Just breathe, Cassie. Focus. 

"Have you come to turn yourself in?" 

"No, I haven't. I have to come to renounce my title as hunter. I will no longer be subject to your traditions. I will hunt in the name of supernatural kind and my own conscience." We are completely surrounded. Dammit, how the hell are we going to get out of this? 

"Are you serious? All of this because you don't want to get married? I know you're dramatic, but this is going too far." 

"I mean it, Mother. I am no longer yours. I am no longer your hunter. I am my own hunter." 

"Cass, please, you don't have to do this. You don't have to marry me. Just don't do this. Please." Hearing his voice hurts. God, it hurts. I can't cry though. Can't do it. 

"I do this not only to break free from your traditions but because my conscience demands it. It is now my sworn duty to protect the innocent and punish the guilty, whether or not they are human. I will not change my mind." 

"Then you leave me no choice. I accept your renouncement. The punishment for renouncement is either marriage or death? Which do you choose?" Are you shitting me?!! 

"What do you mean, marriage or death?" 

"You really should've paid more attention to our rules. Once a hunter renounces themselves, they have a choice. To marry another hunter and continue the lineage or to die. Those are the only choices. So, choose." f**k! Come on, Cassie, think. You're smart. There has to be a loophole. I look to Mal, and he is looking at me. Waiting for me to choose. Marriage or death. Wait a minute, marriage to a hunter or death. Of course, it's obvious. 

"I choose marriage." I hear a gasp coming from somewhere. Mal growls and damn is that sexy. Focus, Cassie. 

"Good to know you have finally come to your senses. You can dismiss your guard and come home. We'll arrange the wedding for tomorrow." 

"Oh no, you misunderstand. I'm not marrying Julian. He's not the hunter I choose." 

"Well then, who are you marrying?" 

"Lord Malchior Everett." I can feel him next to me. Ha, threw you a curveball, now didn't I vampire? 

"Excuse me?" 

"This man beside me is Lord Malchior Everett. He is a hunter and I choose him." 

"That's not how this works. He isn't a hunter. He does not carry that title." 

"Hunter isn't a title you carry. It is a creed, a code you live by. You protect the weak and punish the wicked. When you see death, you avenge it. When you encounter evil, you slay it. That is what makes a hunter. Not some title. He is more of a hunter than most of the men and women I have served with. I choose to marry him." 

"You can't do that. It's against the law." 

"f**k the law." 

"Cass, please." 

"No, Julian. No. I was given a choice, marriage or death. Personally, I would prefer neither. I don't want to be shackled to anyone. I was given a choice and I chose. Respect that." I can see the pain in Julian's eyes. Dammit. This hurts. This f*****g hurts and I want it to stop. I want it done. 

"I have no choice but to kill you. In choosing a non-hunter to marry, you have broken our laws and our traditions. And so, you have chosen death. Since you are my daughter, I will do you the honor of slaying you myself." She pulls out her sword. 

"So, plan B?" 

"Yes, love. Plan B." 

A whoosh goes through the crowd and they are all disarmed in a moment, including my Mother. Dammit, he really is fast. He stands next to me with that stupid grin of his. He is so cute. Wait, what?! Focus, Cassie. 

"So, we should probably go." 

"Is there any unfinished business you need to attend to?" I walk over to my Mother. 

"Don't look for me. Don't hunt me down. I am dead to you. And if any of your hunters harm an innocent, I will do them the honor of killing them myself." I turn to Julian. 

"Cass. Please, you've gone too far. You don't need to do this. We can get married and you don't have to die." 

"Julian. I am not going to die. I thought you knew me. I thought I could trust you. I was wrong. You tried to cage me, control me. I will not be caged, ever. Have a good life." His eyes weep tears. f**k. I turn towards Mal. I can feel the tears about to come to the surface. Mal grabs me and we're off. My tears skate on the wind. I'm placed on his bed. 

"Are you alright, love?" 

"No." I fall apart. I let it all out. I feel his arms around me. His body laying me down on the bed. His words a distant sound against my ears. My head burrowing into his chest. The wet seeping into his shirt. Dammit!!! 

I pull up and look into his eyes. s**t! His eyes are full of deep sea kindness. Such kindness. I wipe my tears away. 

"I'm sorry. I ruined your shirt." 

"f**k my shirt. Are you alright?" Woah, I don't think I've ever heard him curse before. 

"Um, yeah. I mean, I will be."

"If you need to cry more, I am here." So damn kind. It's one of the things I like about him. 

"No, I'm good. I think I got it all out." 

"If there is anything you need, I am happy to provide it for you." What do I need? I need the world to turn right side up. I need my Mother to accept me as I am. I need my life to go back to normal. I need my Dad. s**t. I need my Dad! 

"Can you...pat me on the head?" Mal looks a bit taken aback. His hand goes to my head. His hand is cold, no circulation. Not like my Dad. But, with each pat I feel....a bit better. 

"Is this good? Do you need more?" 

"No. That's good enough. Thank you. Odd request I know. It's what my Dad used to do." 

"I see. I am happy to help in any way I can." 

"I know. You've been there for me so many times. Hell, even when I was a complete jerk." 

"You are my mate, love. I will always be there for you, no matter what state you are in." 

"Oh. Even when I'm covered in wrinkles and age spots?" 

"That will not happen. You will be spending eternity with me." Wait, what?!!!! 

"Like hell I am!!" 

"Now, love." 

"Don't you, 'love' me. You don't get to make those decisions for me. I just spent a whole evening telling people just exactly what I think about that. Just when I think you're a nice person, you go all vampire on me." 

"It is a bit hypocritical of you to say I am attempting to control you, when earlier you decided we were getting married. You did that without my consultation." 

"That was different. I was just saying that to get out of the situation. It's not like I meant it." 

"I see. It is good to know you did not mean it when you chose me. Did you also lie about my being a better hunter than others? Or about protecting innocents?" 

"That's not fair, Mal. Of course I'm serious about protecting innocents. I meant my pledge to supernatural kind." 

"It is hard to figure out what you mean and what you do not." s**t, he's really pissed at me. Wait a minute. He's the one who wants to turn me into a vampire without my consent. So, how did this become about him and his hurt feelings? 

"Look, we're losing track of the argument. This started because I don't want you making the decision to turn me without my consent." 

"Clearly, you are not ready to have this conversation. I am putting the cart before the horse. I thought you had come to accept me. That you had changed your mind on our relationship. And so, I naturally thought we could have this conversation. I was wrong. I apologize." Alright. I'm exhausted. 

"It's okay. I forgive you." 

"Right. Is there something you wish to apologize for?" 

"Um, not anything I can think of." 

"I see. Then I wish you good night, Miss Ventner." Wait a minute. Why is he being so formal? 

"Is there something I need to apologize for? Sometimes I can be a bit oblivious to things." 

"You do not see how you have hurt me. There is no way to make you see. And so, I wish you good night." A whoosh and I'm back in my bedroom. What the hell?! He can't just do this. I need to know what I did. How can I apologize if I don't know what I did wrong? 

Okay. Go over what happened. We were arguing about him turning me. Then it somehow shifted to the marriage. That seemed like a typical argument between us. I say something, he weaves me towards something, then I deflect, and then I....shit. Normally I realize something important. Something I'm not looking at. There's always something hidden. Instead, he apologized. He apologized for what? For suggesting to turn me, right? 

No. No, something's not right. The way he talked me. It was so formal. There was no smirk, no kindness. Just nothing. What did he apologize for? Oh. No, what have I done? I didn't see it. How could I not see it? He thought I meant it, when I said I wanted to marry him. He thought I had changed my mind. That I was comfortable enough, that I trusted him enough to be his. s**t! f**k! How do I fix this? Can I fix this? 

This is it. I've finally done something to make him let me go. This is what you wanted, right, Cassie? Now you don't have to figure out your feelings for a vampire. You don't have to spend any more time with him. You don't have to see his smile or hear his laugh. You don't have to be pinned by him over and over again. His lips will never touch yours ever again. You won't have to deal with the attraction. This is better, right? Right? 

My feet are moving on their on. They're going down the hall. I find myself standing in front of his door. What if he can't forgive me? What if he tells me to leave? What if this is a mistake? I mean, you haven't known him all that long. And he's a vampire. No. Cassie, focus. A knock on the door. 

"Come in." I open the door and he is completely naked. What the actual f**k?! s**t! I cover my eyes with my hand. I can feel the heat rush to my face. 

"You seriously answer the door naked?!!" 

"I do. The people who come to my bedroom tend not to mind. Why have you come here?" 

"I'll explain. As soon as you put on some damn clothes!" 

"No. You can say what you need to right now." Dammit! I hadn't planned on this. Maybe I should turn back. No! You came here and you are standing your ground. 

"I came here to say I'm sorry. I shouldn't have accepted your apology. I should've realized what it meant. I'm sorry that I hurt you. I didn't mean to." 

"Is that all you have to say?" 

"Yes. I understand if you don't want me here anymore. What I did was really selfish. I didn't realize what my declaration of marriage would mean to you. Marriage has never meant that much to me, but I know it means something to you. So, I'm sorry." A whoosh of air. 

"You can open your eyes. I am dressed." I open my eyes and see he is dressed. 

"So, now what?" 

"That all depends on you. You have apologized. But not for all of your actions. You still do not see what you need to. And I am tired of showing you what you need to see." Dammit. What am I missing? I apologized for the "marriage" declaration. For hurting his feelings. s**t! We're at the really hard part. 

"You need to know how I feel about you? How I truly feel about you?" 

He looks at me with those unkind eyes. 

"Right. No more answering my questions. No more prompting me towards the truth. I am going to be completely honest. When I realized what I'd done, I thought I might lose you. And I thought, great, this is what you wanted from the start. You don't belong to anyone. But then, I thought about never seeing you again. I thought about all the things I like about you. All the things I'd miss. And so, I came here. I hoped that you would accept my apology. That it would be enough. But it isn't. I f****d up. I hurt you. You, who has been there for me. You, who has shown me more kindness than anyone. I never meant to hurt you. I didn't know how much it would mean to you. I am sorry." 

"You have a way of being honest while also lying. It is quite infuriating. You should go back to your room." 

"No. I'm not leaving until I get this right." 

"That is it, there is no getting this right." No, I can't lose him. I just can't. He's not kicking me out. But, he is shutting me out. Time to dig deep. Face the truth. 

"I'm scared, Mal. I'm so f*****g scared. I don't know how to do this. I've never been intimate with anyone. You're the first person I've been intimate with. I don't just mean physically, but also emotionally. I cried in front of you. I've never cried in my entire life. Not even alone. I've let you into parts of me that no one has ever seen. Hell, that I've never seen. Everything is crazy right now. Everything is upside down. The one thing I can always count on is you. You always have my back. You're there for me in ways I never knew I needed." 

"That is nice, Cassandra. But it is not enough." He called me by my name. Progress. Keep going. Go deeper. 

"I'm not finished. Everything in me told me not to be with you. You're a vampire. I can't possibly trust you. I felt this insane attraction to you, which I doubted. But I know now, that is real. I want you. I want you to pin me to that bed and put your lips on my neck like you always do. I want you to kiss me. I want you. And it meant the world to me to have you at my back tonight. I was so nervous. But I knew I'd be okay cause you were there. I knew I had you. You are so much more than a vampire. You're kind, compassionate, powerful and sexy as hell. You're my friend and my confidante. I don't think I'd be able to face this new life without you. So please, don't make me." 

He's sitting on the bed now. He isn't saying anything. s**t. Did I say something wrong? Did I f**k up again? 

"Um, please say something." 

"I was waiting for you to finish." 

"Oh. I'm finished." He gets up. He pins me to the wall and kisses me. Hmm. His tongue is curling around mine. Damn, that feels so good. So damn good. I want to pull him closer but I'm pinned. I grunt my frustration. He pulls away and laughs. It caresses every last inch of my body in so many s****l ways. 

"I missed that." 

"Missed what, love?" 

"Um, your laugh."

"I thought it was 'creepy'?" s**t. I forgot about that. 

"Yeah, I was lying. Your laugh is intoxicating." He smirks. 

"I see." 

"Um, does this mean, you forgive me?" He pulls away from me. I push away from the wall. 

"I will forgive you. There are a few conditions. No more lying of any kind. You will be completely and utterly honest with me." 

"Of course. Total honesty from now on." 

"Good. You will also tell me exactly how you feel about me every day. I wish to know the measure and progression of your feelings for me." 

"Doesn't that fall under the whole honesty thing?" He pins me to the wall again, fury in his eyes. s**t!

"Another rule is that you will not equivocate or meander your way into lying. Is that understood?" Hmm, he feels so powerful. I love it when he's like this. Dammit, focus. 

"Yes....I understand." He lets me go. 

"Also good. So, what are your feelings for me at this moment?" f**k. I thought I'd already covered this in my previous speeches. Guess not. What do I feel for him? 

"Um, attraction for certain. There are times when you are so sexy, it's distracting." He smirks. 

"That is good to know. Anything else?" Is there? I feel like we're friends now. But are we more? No, not yet. 

"I feel like we've become friends. And while I'm attracted to you, I'm not comfortable saying that we're in a relationship yet. Does that make sense?" 

"Perfect sense, love. I do intend to change that." 

"Feel free to try." Whoosh and I'm pinned to the bed. Hmm, damn him. 

"I do not need to try." He licks my neck, oh yes. His tongue curls along my neck. Hmm, so good. So very good. He pulls back. 

"May I bite you, love?" Wait, what? 

End of Chapter 7