The mate I hate

Chapter Four – The Door That Should Have Remained Closed

ELARA’s POV

I stashed the file behind the pile of shelved documents as soon as the sound of the footsteps ceased, my hands moving faster than my mind. Whoever it was, I certainly didn't want them finding it in my possession.

"Who is it?" I kept my voice as steady as possible. "Hello?"

No reply. Only the sound of someone unlocking the door.

Kael stood in the doorway.

His gaze moved from me, to the shelves and back to the door, and very quickly, I saw understanding dawning on his face. Too quickly for someone who was merely coincidentally surprised by my presence.

"Elara." His tone was calm. "You shouldn't have been in here."

"Have you been following me?" I backed up, creating a barrier of the reading table between us. "Is that why you've been watching me since the ceremony?"

"No." He didn't even bother to raise his voice. "Security wards of this academy are set up in a way to detect any unauthorized access to the archive. And I get the notification whenever that happens."

That silenced me. If he had gotten that notification, then whoever oversaw this section must have known already that someone had entered the room.

"What were you looking for?" he asked.

"That's none of your concern."

"Elara—"

"I won't tell you." I refused to let my jaw drop despite feeling my heart thumping in my throat. "None of this is your business."

He didn't press. But the look in his eyes had shifted and he was staring past me, at the shelf where I hid the folder. And then I knew he noticed the file sticking out between the two record boxes.

"You recognize that file," I told him.

"Elara—"

"That means you *recognize* it. Why?"

He was silent for a second too long. "It has something to do with Seren."

My chest squeezed painfully. "With her? What about her and why shouldn't I read it?"

"It's complicated, I—"

Agonizing pain ripped through me as he tried to reply.

It struck unexpectedly, just like at the ceremony. But it was even worse now. It was even more painful than anything that came before, the wolf trying to break through my ribcage, clawing at my chest. I cried out and stumbled backwards into the table, knocking over a pile of papers on it.

"Elara." Kael came to me quickly.

"Stay away." I threw an arm out. "Do not touch me."

It got even worse. I felt my wolf rushing toward the surface again, my claws elongating. The burning sensation in my jaw was unbearable. It felt like there was a beast trying to fight its way out of my body. I bit my lip hard, trying to contain the wolf.

"Somebody help!" Kael shouted. "I need a healer at the east archive right now!"

"No." I gritted my teeth. "I don't want any healer to see me like this—"

"Your shift is not voluntary anymore, Elara."

I wanted to object. But I was starting to feel light-headed, my field of view was narrowing, and as soon as the sound of running footsteps reached my ears, I was holding onto the shelf because I was struggling to keep my balance.

The healer who appeared in the hall—an older woman whom I vaguely recognized as coming from the infirmary—looked at me and rushed to my side. She put her hands over my chest as my mother did when she examined my father last night.

"How long has this been going on?" she asked.

"It hasn't—" I began.

"Elara." She sounded certain. "Weakness. Fever. Your wolf's reaction without warning. Have you ever experienced any of this before tonight?"

I started to protest and stopped myself. Dizziness, the nights when I'd claimed I was just tired, my wolf's sense of unease weeks before tonight—it all made sense now.

"Yes," I whispered. "All of it."

"You need to get to the infirmary. Now."

"I'm fine," I told her, despite the weakness threatening to bring me down.

"You can barely stand," Kael said.

"I said I'm fine," I repeated, trying to be stubborn, but it was hard when I had nothing left.

"Elara." He sounded desperate, only just enough that it made me want to listen. "Please."

I resented that the word affected me. I resented even more the fact that I lacked the energy to resist anymore. "Fine," I said reluctantly. "Infirmary. Just—let me go."

As the healer led me toward the door, I caught one last glimpse of the file still sitting on the shelf, half-concealed. One sheet had slipped out during the commotion and lay open on the floor near the table.

I recognized the handwriting without even trying to stop myself.

It was something I'd grown accustomed to seeing throughout my life: Seren's handwriting. It appeared in the pages of every book she had ever written and in the hastily scribbled cards she sent through my bedroom door each year.

Seren's handwriting.

The message was brief. Only one line, scrawled quickly, as if the writer had been terrified while writing it.

*If anything should happen to me, do not trust him.*

Everything about the room tilted suddenly, and it wasn't my wolf this time.

*Him.* She meant Kael. It had to be him. Who else could she be referring to, writing such things in a document associated with some event that the academy thought enough of to delete all names associated with?

All of my doubts over what had happened since the ceremony—every second that I had allowed his soothing, considerate gentleness to change me—rose up within me as surely as a truth that I had known for a year.

I turned to look at him.

Kael was staring at me; his eyes flickered between my face and the dropped sheet and back again, and whatever he saw in my expression caused a change in his own.

"Elara," he said cautiously. "What is it you found