She Eyed My Spot, My Alpha Let Her

Chapter 20: The Distance Between Us

Leia’s POV

The next few days passed in a blur of quiet preparations and heavier silences. I packed slowly, not because I had many things to take, but because every item I touched carried a memory I was not ready to leave behind. Some reminded me of my childhood in this pack. Others reminded me of Pete before everything changed between us.

The hardest part was that he had not changed completely. That would have been easier to hate. Instead, he remained painfully inconsistent. One moment distant and cold, the next quietly attentive in ways that made my heart betray me all over again. That morning, I found new luggage sitting near the door of my room. Very expensive, durable and clearly carefully chosen. There was no note on them, no explanation.

But I knew who had arranged it. I stared at the bags for a long moment before looking away. Tania stirred softly within me. ‘He still cares,’ she whispered, hopefully. She had been unusually quiet and that made me lonely as well as worried because I didn’t have anyone to keep me company.

I swallowed the ache rising in my throat. ‘Caring should not hurt this much.’ She retreated to the back and didn’t say anything anymore.

By afternoon, the entire pack seemed to know I was leaving within the week. The whispers had grown louder now, less cautious than before. Some looked sympathetic while others looked relieved…truly showed I wasn’t of any value to them. Some looked curious, as though waiting to see whether the Luna who failed to secure her Alpha would eventually disappear for good. I kept my head high anyway, I knew if I broke now, they would only remember the breaking.

I had just returned from speaking with one of the enrollment coordinators when I noticed movement near the training grounds. Several young wolves were gathered there, laughing loudly while warriors supervised combat drills.

Normally, I would have avoided the area entirely, but today, my feet slowed on their own because Pete was there. He stood near the center platform dressed in black training clothes, his posture commanding even in stillness. The afternoon sun caught against his dark hair while warriors listened attentively to his instructions.

For a moment, I forgot everything else. He looked like the Pete I remembered from years ago. Strong, confident, untouchable and my mate. The word still hurts. As if sensing me, his head turned suddenly. Of course, Tamer would sense Tania’s presence. Our eyes met across the field and my breath caught immediately.

The bond reacted so quickly it almost embarrassed me. Even now, after everything, my body still recognized him before my mind could defend itself. Something shifted in his expression too. I don’t know if it was relief at first, then guilt and something far more dangerous…longing.

The warriors nearby slowly began noticing the silence between us. A few glanced back and forth curiously before lowering their heads again. Pete said something brief to Zadok, who was overseeing training, before walking toward me.

Every instinct inside me screamed to leave before he reached me, but my feet refused to move. When he finally stopped in front of me, the air itself felt tense. “You came outside,” he said quietly. I almost laughed at the absurdity of that statement. “I still live here,” I replied. “Or am I not allowed to come outside?” I asked, tilting my head. His jaw tightened slightly at my tone. He did not answer, he didn’t have to, he was the Alpha.

For a moment, neither of us spoke. Up close, I could see the exhaustion beneath his eyes. He looked like he had not been sleeping well either. A cruel part of me was glad. “You've been avoiding me,” he said finally.

I blinked slowly. “Avoiding you?” I repeated softly. “Pete, you sent me away.” Pain flickered across his face immediately. “That is not what this is,” he protested. “Well, enlighten me about what it is then?” I asked. My voice remained calm, but inside I felt dangerously fragile.

“You say this is for my future. For my growth. But everything about it feels like removal.” I held his gaze steadily. “Like making space.” “For you?” he asked quickly. “No, we both know for whom.” The silence that followed was enough answer, not because he agreed, but because he did not know how to deny it anymore.

Tania whimpered painfully inside me. Pete stepped closer instinctively. “Leia.” I took a small step back before he could touch me. I could see that it hurt him. Good.

Because now he understood how rejection felt. “I never wanted this distance between us,” he said quietly. “Then why do you keep creating it?” I asked. This was the first time we ever had this kind of talk, just the two of us without interference, so I might as well ask the questions I’ve had without answers for a while now.

His expression hardened slightly, not in anger, but in frustration. “Because every decision I make feels wrong.” I stared at him for a long moment. For the first time since all of this began, he sounded tired rather than defensive, broken rather than authoritative and Alpha commanding me at every turn. But even then, it changed nothing. “Do you know what the worst part is?” I asked softly. His eyes stayed on mine. “I still love you.” The words slipped out before I could stop them. His breath caught. “And I hate that I do,” I admitted quietly.

Emotion flashed openly across his face then, raw and unguarded. He reached toward me again, slower this time, as if afraid I would disappear. My wolf wanted to lean into him so badly it physically hurt, but Drakah’s warning echoed inside my mind.

‘Do not anchor your heart on uncertainty.’ I instinctively stepped back again. Pete’s hand fell slowly to his side. “I cannot keep surviving on moments like this,” I whispered. “Moments where you look at me like you want me, but choose everything else over me afterward.” I whispered, but he heard clearly. “That is not true,” he said, voice raised a bit. “Isn’t it?” He went silent again.

He has always been silent when it mattered most lately. The pain in my chest deepened. “You know,” I said softly, “I used to think Sharon was the reason we were falling apart.” His gaze sharpened slightly. “But now I think the real problem is that you keep asking me to understand sacrifices you would never survive making yourself.”

He looked shaken by that. I don’t know why, but it felt good. Maybe because I was finally done carrying all the understanding alone. Voices approached from behind him then. It was warriors returning from drills. The moment shattered instantly.

Pete straightened automatically, the Alpha mask slipping back into place before anyone got too close. And somehow that hurt worst of all, because I saw how naturally he hid us now. How naturally he became unreachable again. I looked away first. “I should finish packing,” I said quietly, leaving already.

“Leia…” he called out. I paused but did not turn back. “I don’t know how to fix this,” he admitted. My throat tightened painfully. Neither did I and that was the terrifying part. Because, for the first time since finding my mate… I was beginning to believe love might not be enough to save us after all.