Broken

||Chapter Thirteen||

"Maybe I should go see what's keeping Darcie," I told Celeste as I opted to get up and go to the room she walked in. She had been in there a while, and even though I had no reason to be concerned, I was still growing worried. I was stopped by Cee with a hand on my thigh.

"Let me check, don't worry, I'm sure your friend is fine," Celeste said, I nodded giving her the go ahead.

Friend. How I hated that word now. Ever since I found out that Destine was actually Darcie, I couldn't stop myself wondering if that was one of the reasons she sent those mix signals my way back at her place. Maybe all this time all she wanted was friendship and I kept wanting something more from her, even though I didn't know it was her at the time. She could've just wanted to pick up where she left off all those years ago. Yet, I couldn't help but wonder why she kissed me in the first place, at the very beginning. Our first kiss. I was caught off guard by it but nonetheless, it had sparked something in me. But that was with Destine. I was confused as to why I felt guilty about this. I kissed Destine, but now I feel as though I had wronged Darcie...Even though they were the same person. I need to stop thinking, this is going to drive me insane.

I lifted my head to watch some television to take my mind off these troubling thoughts and took a swig of beer. I took the remote and switched it to the Red Sox vs Yankees highlights as I waited for Celeste to return with Darcie. What was taking them so long anyway? I was just about to get up and check on them when I heard footsteps coming from behind me. "Took you guys long enough!" I said turning around, eyeing Darcie first, her face looked solemn and spaced out. Then I glanced at Celeste, who had a small grin on her face as she jumped over the back of the couch and sat next to me, while Darce decided to sit in the armchair.

"Sorry we took so long, I was giving Darcie a little tour of my room. I'd be happy to show you around too if you feel left out." She said smiling as she reached for her beer on the side table.

"I'll get around soon enough." I returned her smile then looked at Darcie who was onlooking us with an unreadable expression. "You OK Darce? You're looking a little pale."

She glanced up at me and gave me a small smile. "Oh, yes I'm fine. I'm just worried about Simon." She said rushed. My eyes widened in surprise as she said this.

"Oh s**t! I completely forgot about Simon! Will he be OK? Would they go after him too?" I asked sitting up straight. That's when I realized Celeste was leaning on me slightly. I didn't think much of it as I looked at Darcie, who was now smiling at me.

"Both Sy and I have places that are under Dan's radar. I'm sure he'll be fine as long as he gets home. I'll call him later to check on him." She said, that seemed to soothe my worry but I still had a niggling in the back of my head that something was wrong with her.

"That's good. Hey um, Cee, what's going on for sleeping arrangements?" I asked, trying to change the topic and rid the air of the sudden tenseness. The dark haired girl faced me and grinned.

"Oh! I have a guest room but it's...A bit tight." She jabbed a finger behind her. "It's got a bed and a bedside table, um it's usually just for one though." She said rubbing the back of her head.

"That's OK, we're grateful you had anywhere at all for us to sleep. I was expecting the couch!" I let out a chuckle and we both started laughing.

"Um," Darcie interjected. "where do I discard of this?" She held up her empty beer bottle.

"Oh, let me take care of that." Celeste gathered all our empty bottles and crossed the room towards the kitchen. I heard some shuffling and both Darcie and I turned our attention to the kitchen. "I definitely need to take this out, remind me tomorrow will ya?" She said lifting up a large, filled garbage bag. She tied it and threw it in the corner.

Darcie's face lit up with shock and disdain. "Celeste that garbage bag is a host to a multitude of bacteria, not to mention the smell! It could be harboring millions of streptococci, as well as E. Coli and salmonella, allergy inflaming fungi, micro-cocci, staphylococci, spirillum..." As Darcie went on and on spewing information about the millions of different germs that exist in that garbage bag, I looked at Celeste, whose face held an incredulous, and maybe a bit impressed look.

"Is she gonna stop anytime soon?" Celeste asked as Darcie kept going.

"Bacillus, spirochete, streptomycetes..." I looked, Darcie, as she seemed lost in that big brain of hers and smiled turning back to Celeste.

"Nope, I don't think so." I laughed. "Maybe you should take out the garbage now, I have a feeling that she could go at it all night." I glanced back at Darcie.

With that Celeste chuckled and shook her head incredulously as she lifted the smelly bag and hauled it outside the apartment for disposal, leaving Darcie and me in the room. As soon as Celeste left the room with the garbage she stops spewing her seemingly endless facts and sighed happily. "Thank you." She said to me.

"Do you just have this stuff ready in your head?" I asked giving Darcie an amused impressed look.

She shrugged simply. "I read a lot as a child."

"Well, it sure as hell is impressive, you're like my own personal Google or something." I smiled proudly at her. She only smiled, holding my gaze. "Why don't you come sit next to me, I kinda miss you here." I patted the space next to me.

She gave me an ear to ear grin that shone beautifully before she got up and quickly, but delicately sat down next to me. "Just so you know, I'm not a computer. I just know quite a bit due to my lack of attention from my foster parents as a child." She said, looking at me. She looked so breathtaking. I noticed the cut in her face and cursed Celeste's brother for daring to harm her. I felt anger surge in me before I quickly put the thought away.

"You're a genius," I told her genuinely.

She chuckled a bit before saying. "I am."

"And modest too!" I said sarcastically.

"What!" She laughed incredulously. "It only takes 140 IQ points to be a genius." She said matter-of-factly, shrugging.

"Are you calling me dumb?!" I said feigning hurt, clutching my chest.

"Of course not! Everyone's a genius in their own way." She said giving me a dazzling smile.

"So I'm not dumb just because I don't know what a strepto-watchamacallit is?" I asked innocently. Biology hadn't been my best subject in the orphanage, I was more of a History type of girl.

Darcie laughed and her whole face lit up, it was such an amazing sound; to hear her laugh. I found myself wanting more of it. "No, it's OK if you don't know what it is."

"What what is?" Celeste asked, suddenly entering the room. She walked over, plopping down next to me.

"We were talking about strepto-you-know-the name." I said messing up the word again, truthfully I knew the word was streptococcus but I liked hearing Darcie's voice- and laugh.

Celeste chuckled and looked across from me to Darcie. "How do you know all this stuff?" She asked, sounding genuinely interested. To be honest, I was truthfully worried the two wouldn't have gotten along, my ex-girlfriend and Darcie, my childhood crush that she now knew about, I thought it would've been chaos, I thought Celeste would raise hell, but she was being so mature about this, it made me happy. I can't say it didn't feel awkward for me though.

"I read a lot growing up, knew things that were beyond my age, though I did gravitate towards the sciences." She answered tersely, as if she were in an interview.

Even though I was in the middle, I tried to stay out of their conversation, they needed to talk, be friends, or at least keep getting along while we're staying here. "Did you play any sports?" Celeste asked again.

"Well, I did figure skating up until I was 17, I'm not sure if you consider that a sport." She answered, more relaxed now. She shrugged then asked, "What about you?"

Celeste's lips pursed up in thought. "Well... After I was adopted, I started high school, I wasn't there for long but I was on the soccer team."

"You were the captain." I said remembering, smiling at Celeste. She had just started going to high school and tried out for the soccer team, not only making the team, but got picked as captain.

"You know I don't like bragging Amee." She looked at me, then back at Darcie. "What about you Darce? How was high school for you?"

She smiled, almost wistfully as she thought back. "My parents sent me to an all girls boarding school out of state, they thought that it was imperative that I knew how to handle myself, before boarding school I had to take several English lessons, because we would be living in America." She shrugged, smiling a bit brighter now but it hadn't reached her eyes. "I still left for Paris for university though."

"Oh you're going to college now?" Celeste asked slightly confused, probably because it was the middle of the semester and she should be in school.

"Yes, but I got leave because of the sudden death of my parents." She said, pained welled behind her eyes, I wanted nothing more in that moment but to hold her and tell her that she would be OK, because she's strong, and I'll be there for her, but I wasn't sure how appropriate that would be.

I residing in resting my hand atop hers. Then Celeste spoke, "Aw man I had no idea, I'm sorry to hear." She reached over resting her hand on her thigh, an act of comfort.

"It's alright, I've come to terms with it now." She said giving us a small smile.

"How?" Celeste asked.

"I realized that, death, wasn't the ending of a life... But the completion. Whenever you die, your life has been completed, not ended."

Both Celeste and I were awestruck. The weight of Darcie's words had sat within us now, had resonated in us with such force we had no choice but to think about how right she was. Death was your life being completed, not ended.

"Surely there are other things to talk about." Darcie giggled awkwardly.

I cleared my throat and looked at the clock on the wall. "Well," I stretched getting up, "I'm gonna turn in, I need a good night's sleep." I looked at Darcie to see if she wanted to turn in as well. "What about you Darce? Turning in anytime soon?"

Before she could answer Celeste spoke, "Hey, remember to go to the police station tomorrow to file a report."

I immediately got upset as I remembered Celeste's brother and his assault. "Wait, you didn't report that fucker?" I spat looking on incredulously. I was getting livid.

"I wasn't thinking about that at the time. I still was looking for you Amelia." I shook my head adamantly.

"You gotta care about yourself more." I was almost yelling now, trying to keep my voice under control.

"I'm doing it tomorrow Amelia, calm down." Her voice was still calm and I wasn't sure why exactly that upset me even more.

"How can you be so nonchalant about this!?" I finally yelled. I don't understand why she would be so calm, she was assaulted. The first thing she should've done was frigging report it. I squeezed my fists together unable to take out my anger on anything physically. Just then I felt a hand on my arm.

"Amee." Celeste? I hadn't even realized she had gotten up to my side. Destine has gotten up as well but she seemed upset. I hated myself for yelling at her. I was just upset about Celeste's dumb brother and I didn't have an outlet. She didn't deserve that. She silently walked away. My body clenched and my stomach churned with guilt.

"Give her some space, you guys had a long day." She took me down the hall and I followed numbly, I didn't know what to do; what to say. I loathed myself for yelling at Darcie...

She brought me down the hall to her room. "Maybe you should sleep in here tonight, to calm down, you're still shaking." I heard Celeste say.

As she said that I felt hot blood still surging through me. I've always tried to deny the fact that I had an anger issues. I always thought my anger was always justified; but now I hated myself for taking it out on Darcie, I needed to calm down, I needed to calm down and apologize.

"No, I...I need to apologize, to Darcie." I said, pleading with her.

"Amelia, you can't go in there like that, you'll flare up again, you know how you are." She said resting her hands on my knee. She was right. My anger couldn't be controlled at times and I couldn't help but think back to an argument Celeste and I had when I was so mad that I punched a hole into the wall of my orphanage room. It scared her so much, I still wonder if she thought I was going to hit her. I know that I would have never laid a hand on her, no matter how angry I was.

"You... You're right... I'll apologize tomorrow OK." I shook my head and lay down on Celeste's bed. Soon after a quick run to the bathroom she returned and lay down next to me. Idly I thought of Darcie next to me instead of her but I quickly realized that it wasn't the time. I felt like I wasn't allowed to think about her while she's upset with me, after I upset her.

"Try to get some sleep Amee." Celeste looked at me and smiled warmly, she kissed my cheek, lingering longer than I thought she would and closed her eyes.

I sighed and stared at the ceiling, still wondering if I should go to Darcie's room and apologize. Stopping my train of thought I suddenly felt Celeste's hand on top of mine. I'm not sure if she was doing this as a romantic gesture or something purely platonic in an attempt to calm me down.

"And Amee?" She spoke.

"Yeah." I shakily answered, still trying to calm down.

"I missed you."

***

I hadn't gotten much sleep last night as I was still plagued by the fact that I upset Darcie. I looked over on Celeste's night table and saw on the digital clock that it was 6:04. It was the middle of October so it was still a bit dark. I was laying in Celeste's bed wide awake, but calmer. She was still asleep and had her hand resting on my arm. I gently took her arm off so I didn't wake her and sauntered to Darcie's room down the hall.

The door was open a crack and I noticed Darcie sitting up in bed, her legs crossed in front of her and her eyes closed. I opened the door a bit more and entered the room.

"Hey," I awkwardly said, "couldn't sleep?" I couldn't think of anything else to say, I had to be careful with the words I chose.

"Good morning Amelia, and no I wasn't able to acquire much sleep." She said sharply, her eyes still closed.

"Um, what are you doing?" I asked referring to her current position.

"Meditating." She answered.

"Why?" I said sitting on the bed.

She breathed out before answering, "to find my inner calm, maybe you should try it sometime." She said with a hint on condescendence to her voice.

I sighed, habitually scratching my neck. "Look, about last night..."

"Don't bother apologizing," she interrupted, "you had every right to be mad last night."

"No, you didn't deserve that, I was just still mad about what Celeste's scum bag brother did to you." I said still keeping my cool, I took her hand in mine. "And I'm sorry."

She has opened her eyes now, her crystal blue eyes shone beautifully as she smiled at me. "It's OK, I don't think I could stay mad at you anyways." She uncurled her legs and stood. "Did you sleep with Celeste last night?"

I was a bit taken aback by the wording of the question then smiled awkwardly. "Uh, yeah I did. Why?"

"Nothing."

I didn't believe her, but I didn't push it. "Where is she?" She asked again.

"She's still sleeping in her room." I answered confused.

"I need the address of the police station." She said getting up and walking towards the door.

"Hey whoa whoa whoa," I said rushing behind her, "it's just 6, how about we have some breakfast or something first, I know where it is, I can take you there." I said laying my offer on the table.

"I think it's best you stay here Amelia, I can handle myself you know." She said smiling.

"But you don't know where it is..." I pressed.

"Well, where is it?" She asked tilting her head- adorably so.

I shifted awkwardly as I answered. "A few blocks down the road..."

She laughed exciting the room, "Amelia you're being ridiculous, I'm fine."

I followed behind her. "OK, maybe I am, at least let me follow you there and then leave," I said, she has a skeptical look on her face, "for safety!" I added desperately.

She shook with laughter, noticing my pleading eyes. "Fine, you can stop doing those damn puppy dog eyes now." She said walking over to the couch and sitting.

Feeling accomplished I fist pumped and ran over to the couch, jumping over the back of it I plopped down on the soft seat. I know we were in a dying crisis, but somethings were starting to feel normal, like I wasn't on the run from a blood thirsty drug lord normal. We would figure out something later but for right now, I'm going to be happy with Darcie, friends or whatever we were.

She still didn't bring up why I ran away, and I wasn't quite ready to tell her. Truthfully I was still conflicted about how she feels about me, I couldn't truthfully answer her without bringing up something about my feelings, and I couldn't lie to her. Though I'm sure she would've seen right through me.

"Stop being so happy about this, I'll change my mind!" She said elbowing me, she switched on the TV and flipped through it. She stopped when it landed on Totally Spies.

She started bouncing up and down like a six year old when she saw that it was just starting. "I loved this cartoon!" She said excitedly.

I smiled at her, I've never seen her this excited about something before. "Yeah?" I asked.

"Oh yes! It was all the rage in France! I watched it all the time as a child." I listened on as Darcie spoke, loving this other side of her, though I loved the clinical, logical side, the childlike side that watched cartoons seemed like a rarity and I was gonna take it in while it lasted.

"I see you two made up." Celeste said as she padding in, sleep still laced in her voice.

We laughed. "Morning sleeping beauty." I said to her. I could've sworn I saw a hint of a blush creep up her cheek but I dismissed it. I'd ask her about it later.

"Mornin'." She said yawning. "How ya feeling Darcie?"

"I'm quite fine Celeste. Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah, can't say the same for you two. You're up early."

"I'm planning to leave for the police station early, I want to get this out of the way as quickly as possible." Darcie said, her logical side kicking in.

"Oh yeah, it's right down the road, you should get there early, it can get pretty crowded." She said running her hand through her dark hair.

***

I came back from dropping Darcie at the station, as promised and opened the door without announcing my return. I heard a guitar being played and singing that followed soon after. I recognized the voice and knew immediately that it was Celeste. I slowly walked down the hall listening to her sing.

"Let's go to the garden, you'll find something waiting, right there where you left it lying upside down. When you finally find it, you'll see how it's faded, the underside is lighter when she turn it around. Everything stays right where you left it, everything stays when it's still changing. Ever so slightly, daily or nightly, in little ways, everything stays..." She finished with a final strum of her acoustic guitar, by that time I was already by her open door, clapping.

"That was amazing." I said startling her.

"Thanks, I didn't think you'd be back so soon, where's Darcie." She asked looking behind me.

"She's still at the police station, she said she could take care of herself." I answered.

"Well she is a grown woman." Celeste chuckled. I walked further into her room and looked around.

"Red Sox fan?" I asked noticing the jersey above her bed.

"Naturally." She said plopping on her bed.

I continued walking around and stopped by the drawings on her desk. "Apart from singing, you have a really amazing talent Celeste."

"Too bad it's not going anywhere." She sounded wistful, but smiled.

"Hey, don't say that, you're going places!" I said encouragingly.

"Yeah, right. The only place I'm going is the kitchen to get some coffee."

I then noticed a picture. It was a picture of Celeste and I, years ago, a day before my 18th birthday. The day she broke up with me. I stared at it nostalgically. She saw that I was looking at it and walked over to me. "What ever happened to us?" She asked.

"You happened, you left me remember?" I smiled through the painful memory at the time. It has taken a lot of time to fully get over Celeste but now I could finally ask. "You never told me why."

She had a sad smile on her face before she spoke, "I-" then suddenly there was frantic knocking on the door.

"Cee! Cee!" It sounded like the boy from yesterday. He sounded frantic. We quickly looked at each other before bolting for the door. "Cee open up!"

Celeste got to the door and flung it open pulling him in and promptly shut it it on motion. "Alex you can't just bang on my door this early! The neighbors -"

"It's important! Your friend, she, they, gone -"

I chimed in now. "What? What are you saying? Calm down and explain."

He exhaled and spoke. "Your friend, I was going to buy some Advil for my mom and I was about to take the usual shortcut through an alley and I saw some men throwing your friend in a van." After he finished I stood stock still.

Darcie. He got Darcie.