Broken

||Chapter Five||

"Well, uhm... You see, I.." Destine said, she looked as if she was thinking about what she was going to say. Then the unexpected happened.

She grabbed me and kissed me! I didn't kiss back at first, I was too shocked, my eyes wide open, I was torn between pulling away and pushing her down and laying on top of her. I eventually couldn't resist anymore and started kissing back, her lips felt so good against mine, my heart was racing and my head was spinning to my point of being drunk. I felt high.

That high was cut short when she suddenly pulled away. I was still trying to compose myself, my heart wouldn't slow down and my stomach was doing backflips. When I regained a semblance of composure I tried forming a coherent sentence. "I... Uhm... Wow." I said tried. I was still tongue-tied. I wanted to kiss her again, the urge to do it again was too much, she was like a drug. Why am I feeling this way?

Just then she got up and bolted upstairs.

What just happened?

Why did she run off? Was she not sure what she did? Because it seemed like she enjoyed that maybe almost as much as me even though I'm confused as s**t. Why did she kiss me?

I stopped and breathed for a moment. My mind was scattered, to figure this out I have to be calm about it. Breathe.

I tried stringing thoughts together but it proved to be difficult. I groaned and got up and started pacing. Should I go up there? I thought. Maybe I shouldn't, maybe she needs time to... Think about what she's done...? I don't know! I just know she ran away for a reason.

Maybe I should go check on her, just to make sure she's OK. I gathered all the courage I could and slowly walked upstairs. As I neared the door I started taking tentative steps, I'm not sure why, I'm just too nervous about this. I'm not gonna show it though, at least I'll try not to.

I rapped on the door slowly. "Destine? Are you OK?" I held my head close to the door to listen out for an answer. I heard faint music in the background. But otherwise nothing. "Destine? Are you in here?" I listened again, I heard soft whimpering, my heart dropped. She's crying. I felt my chest tighten at this, why? "I'm coming in whether you like it or not," I said then opening the door.

She was slumped over in the far corner of the room, her hands resting on her knees and her head resting on her hands. She was sniffling. I sat next to her. "Um... Why are you crying?" Is this what you should do? I'm such an i***t. After mentally berating myself I turned back to Destine who still hasn't answered me.

Maybe a different approach.

"If it's any consolation, I enjoyed our little moment downstairs."

Still nothing.

"Aaannnd, I really thought you'd have been a better kisser, what with you being French and all..." I lied, just wanted to get her attention.

"What? REALLY?" She lifted her head giggling a bit. Got it. Her laughter is the best medicine, makes me wanna make her laugh more.

I looked at her face properly, I saw the tears on her cheeks, her eyes were red. I wanted to kiss them away but I'm not sure what's acceptable at this point. So I smiled and cupped her face and used my thumbs to wipe away her tears but in that moment more just fell.

My chest tightened and hurt seeing this. Again, why?

"I was just kidding about the kissing thing, you don't need to cry about that." I joked.

"That's not it." She half laughed half cried. Did she take me seriously? She's really terrible at picking up sarcasm.

"Then why are you crying?" I pulled her into my side and wrapped my arm over her shoulder, my other hand holding her hand. I hope this is comforting to her.

She turned to me, "I can't tell you yet." She whispered. "I'm sorry."

"That's OK, just know until I can know I'm gonna be on you like white on rice." She giggled at that.

A different kind of feeling spread across my chest, what's that now? Do I have pneumonia?

I finally decided to play it silently and listen to what song was playing in the background. I didn't really get to listen to the song that was ending, so I tuned my ears for the next song.

"Oh my stomach's tied in knots I'm afraid of what I'll find if you wanna talk tonight..."

It sounded familiar but I couldn't place it. I never really got to listen to music while growing up in foster care. Only when I get adopted and my foster family had nice things and gave me nice things like mp3 players.

"This is Sleeping With Sirens. One of my favorite American bands." She said. I'm just glad she's talking.

I smiled and nodded, enjoying our silence. Another song started.

"Did you forget me? Did you forget me? I wish I could say that I never loved, but sorry just sounds stupid and quiet in this house..."

I knew this one, I listened to it on repeat most days, mainly because all I could do was think about Darcie. How much I wanted her to remember me. How much I wanted her to come get me.

"Amelia? Would you take a walk with me? Destine asked.

I smiled. "Sure, why not." I got up and held out my hand to help her up. We made our way downstairs and out the front door.

*****

"That is such a lie!" I laughed. Destine and I were deep in conversation.

"I did I swear!" She held her left hand beside her head.

I shook my head adamantly, "No way you beat a 250-pound man at arm wrestling." I folded my arms.

"It's not about strength Amelia, it's technique!" She retorted.

"Technique? This isn't blowing bubbles sweetie!" I laughed.

Her face held a serious gaze. "What does bubbles have to do with this conversation?" She tilted her head.

I wanted to facepalm so badly. "Yenno... Spongebob... Bubble blower... Was... Teaching... Squid--nevermind." She was clueless as to what I was talking about.

"Oh! It was a Spongebob reference? I know Spongebob, I just never got the reference." She giggled awkwardly.

We soon arrived in a park and I decided that I wanted to test her technique theory. I sat my a chess table then angled my hand accordingly. "C'mon french toast, let's see what you got."

"Amelia do you really want to lose that badly?" She said sitting down and grasping my hand.

"There's a fine line between cocky and confident french toast." I joked.

We angled ourselves correctly and I called it. "Go!"

She was strong I'll give her that, we've barely been able to move away from the middle, I brought my gaze from our hands to her face. Weirdly enough her eyes were closed and get demeanor was really calm.

"What the?!" I felt my hand lower. I pushed valiantly against her and brought it back up maybe by a millimeter of an inch until I felt my hand hit the concrete table. My arm felt like a noodle.

"Winner!" She lifted both her arms in a celebratory fashion and smiled broadly.

"Loser," I said resting my head on the table. I lifted my left-not-currently-a-noodle-arm towards her for a congrats handshake. She shook it and I turned to see the sun about to set.

"We should get home." She said looking at me.

"C'mere." I got up pulling her over to a park bench perfectly situated to see the sunset.

"This isn't the way home." She deadpanned.

"I wanna watch the sun go down." I sat her down and sat staring at the mixture of colors in the dusk autumn sky. The light breeze tickled my face and caused Destine to shiver. I instinctively wrap my arm over her shoulder and pulled her in.

"It's just a cold chill." She explained.

"Oh." I began moving my hand away.

"That never meant you should move." She pulled my hand back over her shoulder and nuzzled her head by my neck.

My heart started racing. She was so close. What does this all mean? I mean, after the kiss and everything, what does this mean? Friends don't do this; at least I think so, I've never really had a friend apart from Darcie, and she's probably forgotten about me.

The sun had gone down and it was nightfall. The city lights shone elegantly. "I think we better head back yeah?" I turned to see Destine's eyes closed.

She shook her head on my shoulder and took about five more seconds to get up. She hooked her arm into the crook of my elbow as we walked back. We soon got back to her two-story loft.

I stopped us by the door, "Can I just ask one question?" It's really bothering me.

"Sure, but I can not promise you that I'll answer it."

I sighed and asked. "Why'd you kiss me?"

She didn't answer. She just opened her door and walked in.

"Come on! Really?" I whined.

"I told you that I may or may not answer."

I'm really tired of this game. I walked briskly towards her, pushing her against the wall and pinned her hands above her head and slid my leg between her thighs while nearing her lips. "I want to know Destine." I brushed my lips with hers. That made my heart beat quicken. As for Destine, well, she was panting at this point. She tried kissing me but I kept moving my face away. This was equally torturous for me, don't get me wrong, but I need answers.

I moved my lips to her neck to avoid kissing her. I gently nipped and sucked the sweet spot on her neck then gently bit down which elicited hisses and moans. This is only turning me on. I need to stop. I bit down on her neck one last time.

"Amelia..." She moaned.

Oh no.

I completely lost it. I brought my face up to hers and started kissing her ravishingly. She was pushing against my hands that were restraining her. "Let go." She whispered in my mouth.

"Not yet." I teased. She groaned into my mouth. I smiled against her lips.

Things started getting heated as she slid her tongue into my mouth, our tongues started dancing with each other as we kissed. My head started spinning at the sensation of her tongue with mine. I bit her bottom lip and gently pulled it. This elicited another moan from her. That is the best sound she's made, next to her laugh.

I finally let go of her hands, she immediately ran her hands under my shirt. I shivered and bit her lips at the contact.

"Wait." Destine pulled away. "What are we doing?" She asked.

"I don't know..." I panted. Those kisses left me breathless.

"I don't know what we're doing but... I don't think we should be doing it." She looked away.

"Well, I'm pretty sure we knew what was happening. But I was trying to get an answer out of you and this happened." I shrugged and moved out of her face. I was a bit disappointed.

"Dinner?" She said heading to the kitchen.

"How about takeout?" I suggested.

"Oh thank goodness! I really didn't want to cook." She took her phone out of her back pocket. "Pizza or Chinese?" She asked.

"Hmm... Pizza, Hawaiian." I smiled. It's been ages since I've had pizza.

"Gross, who eats that? I'm ordering the vegetarian." She dialed the number.

"Hey wait! You can order it half and half you know." I whined.

She huffed. "Fine, just try to not get your pineapples on my mushrooms."

"And you try not to get your mushrooms on my pineapples." I retorted. "Mushrooms these days can't be trusted. Very sneaky." I joked. Just to make her laugh.

"Shut up." She giggled as she made the orders.

We watched TV awaiting the delivery guy. Destine sat at the opposite side of the couch. I'm not sure what's going on in her head but mine's still reeling with what's been happening in just the past two days alone. It's better I keep this to myself for now.

Soon the pizza came and we ate while watching this corny movie called "Love and Basketball". Eventually, it ended and I glanced over at Destine and realized she was sleeping. I stared at her a bit, caught up with how adorable she was then decided to call it a night and carried her bridal style up to the bedroom.

I'd strip her but that'd be kinda creepy, so I just took her shoes and jacket off and tucked her in. I retreated to my side of the bed and lay down. I turned to Destine, "Goodnight french toast." I smiled.

Just then I saw her turn to me, eyes still closed. "Goodnight Amelia." She smiled then turned to her original position.

She tricked me!