Healing The Assassin's Heart

Understanding A Misunderstanding

Conner

It hurt. My chest physically ached being away from her. It was like this every time. There was an invisible tether from my soul to hers, it felt like. And when she got too far it hurt. I didn’t want her to worry, so I told her what I knew she needed to hear. That I’ll be fine. But really I was drowning in feelings.

I took out my phone and dialed one of my closest friends.

“Hello?”

“Bryce, what are you up to?”

“Bryson and I are just about to take Shay and Shane to the building site for our new home. We have the blueprints mapped out, James is going to show us visually where everything will be built. And we’ll be breaking ground today.

“That’s fantastic. Wish I could be there to witness it with you guys.”

“You’re in Florida right now, right? Visiting some of Lyla’s family?”

“Um, not really, we had to drop off some cargo for Lyla. Right now she’s working.”

“On a mission?”

Everyone knew about Lyla that she wanted to know, so I wasn’t surprised he would ask.

“Yeah. Now I’m stuck here in Sunny Florida not knowing what to do. It’s a hardship,” I teased.

He chuckled. “Oh, poor you. Beaches, sun, relaxation. Why don’t you go see some of Lyla’s family? You said you got along with her cousin and some of his men.”

“I do, except for one. I mean he’s a good guy, I guess, but knowing he and Lyla had a thing, I don’t know makes me uncomfortable.”

“Conner, you’ve played with her with some of her pets.”

“That’s different. He wasn’t one of her pets. She said he had a thing for her, but he was only a release to her. I mean he’s married, he’s in love with his wife. I don’t know, I wasn’t paying attention after she said they had a thing. Meeting him was intimidating. He’s a big guy, kind of scary, and his wife is gorgeous. But all I saw was him f*cking Lyla in my mind.”

“Conner, you’re a big guy,” Bryce said.

“I know,” I mumbled.

“You’re jealous?”

“Yes, I am, or was. I don’t know.”

“Conner, do you trust Lyla?”

“With my life. I know she’d never betray me.”

“She has a past, you have a past,” he said.

“Yeah, you’re right.”

“What’s the real problem, Conner? Do you need me to get Bryson on the phone too, so we can work out whatever is on your mind?”

“Yeah,” I said.

“Okay, hold on. He went to see what was taking Shay so long.”

I could hear him running upstairs, and then I could hear a bunch of moaning.

“Sh*t, I have to call you back,” Bryce said.

I chuckled, “Okay buddy, have fun.” I hung up.

I stood on the balcony outside our bedroom. F*cking Ninja. That was his name. I don’t know why I was so consumed and worried about him. Lyla swore up and down that there was nothing long term between them. When I first met him and his wife, they were super in love and I watched as they doted on their child. I don’t know why I felt so insecure around Ninja. He wasn’t Lyla’s first lover. Maybe I just felt the familiarity that they have with each other.

Ava, his wife, was so sweet, and she liked Lyla a lot and Lyla liked her a lot. Ninja was nice to me, he never rubbed it in my face that he f*cked Lyla. He joked around with me, and I am pretty sure I hid my insecurity well. He seemed to be scared of a big man that was the SAA’s husband. He tried to hide it, but he failed miserably in my eyes. He stiffens whenever Jessie is around and doesn't relax around the man until a few minutes go by. The woman, Narissa, or Fixer as her road name is, finds it hilarious. Jessie likes to smile a lot around Ninja, it’s a predator's smile, and Ninja becomes a lot less scary around him. I liked Jessie a lot. He kind of reminded me of Lyla with a mix of Shay. A protector but that’s kind and makes everyone he meets comfortable.

I looked at my phone and dialed his number.

“Conner, buddy, I hear you’re coming to town, when will you be in?”

“I’m actually in now. We arrived last night,” I said.

“That’s awesome. I have a showing tonight. Would you and Lyla like to come?”

“Oh, well, Lyla is on a mission, but I can come. I don’t have anything going on.”

“Excellent. It’s at five. There will be drinks and hors d’oeuvres. It’s kind of formal. Do you need a suit? I can ask Joker if he has one you can borrow.”

“No, I’m good, I’ll just go shopping.”

“Okay, buddy, I’ll see you tonight.”

We hung up. I feel a little better now that I have some plans. I guess it was time for me to go shopping. I told Hanna I was going out. She told me not without bodyguards. We argued for five minutes before she put her foot down and said that if anything happened to me, Lyla would be devastated and would probably go on a murder spree. I highly doubted that, but I gave in. So, now I was stuck with Bruce, Lyla’s pet and the man that looked a lot like Kelly, and a woman named Megan. She was about 5 ‘5, but I didn’t judge her by her height. I mean Lyla was all of 5 ‘3 and she was deadly. Megan had black hair, tattoos all over both arms and hands. She was slim and fit, her arms were corded with slight muscles. I met her the first time I visited. She was a guard that normally accompanied Tiffany and Hanna to meetings. When Hanna was with the two of them, no one disrespected her. Hell, hardly anyone disrespected her because of Tiffany, but I knew for a fact Hanna could also take care of herself, she just didn’t have to with her twin that was always with her when she wasn’t on a mission.

“Megan, where should we go?” I asked.

“Why ask her? I live here too. I know where a man like you should go and get a suit,” Bruce pouted. I smiled at him. He was a favorite of both Lyla’s and mine for obvious reasons.

“Okay, Brucie, where are we going?”

“Greek Gods, it’s one of my favorite places to shop.”

“That’s only because it’s one of the only places that has your size,” Megan snorted.

“I can’t help being tall and muscular. It’s a curse.”

“Seriously?” she scoffed.

“It’s not easy finding clothes for men my size. Conner has a lot of muscle too, there will be clothes that will fit him well there,” Bruce said.

Megan looked me up and down and nodded.

“He’s right Con, GG’s will have a variety of outfits for you and suits that will fit your shape well.”

I entered the gallery at 5:15 pm, with Hanna on my arm. She looked beautiful in a rose gold gown, her hair in a bun on top of her head, and tendrils of hair framing her face. With her five-inch heels on her feet, she came up to my chin.

“You look beautiful, munchkin.”

She giggled. “Conner, stop it. Thank you. Sometimes, I don’t feel beautiful.”

“How can you say that?”

She just shrugged. Hmm. I nudged her.

“I don’t have men falling all over me. I have men that respect me, but they don’t look at me like they look at Lyla. Sometimes I wish I had boyfriends in my life. Like Lyla. She has pets, and she’s been in a long-term relationship before, and now you.”

“You’re talking about Sal?”

“Hmm, she’s told you about him. See, you’re special. I don’t see you ever going anywhere.”

“No, she’d have to kill me to get me out of her life,” I said, and I meant every word.

“And I believe that to be true. You are her ride or die, you’ll always have her back, be her alibi, and her stability. If she ever fell you’d be there to catch her.”

“Absolutely. I love her.”

“Tiffany and I have seen that, Conner,” she said. I felt my chest puff out. That made me feel really good.

“Conner!”

I smiled as Jessie and Narissa came over with Ava and Ninja. I tried really hard to keep my smile on my face.

“Hello Hanna, you haven’t been to the clubhouse lately. You keep stealing my men,” Ninja joked.

“Tiffany and I have been busy, and Sean and Kyle come on their own. We don’t steal them. Besides, we really wanted to spend some time with them since we knew we weren’t going to see them for a while.”

“I’m teasing you, and I’m sorry about that. Joker needs them for a run that’s probably going to take a month. They have no responsibilities. They’re single and have no children, they and a few handful of men and women are the only ones that can do it.”

“We know, it’s just hard, they’re our best friends. We don’t have a lot.”

“I know sweetie, but this time they don’t have to go dark, so they can call you.”

Her smile was brilliant.

“Hi Conner,” Ninja said.

“Hi, Ninja, good to see you. Ava, Narissa, you two are looking as beautiful as ever. How are the kiddos?” I asked them, winking at Jessie in greeting.

“Striving and thriving. Also running us in circles,” Ava said. Ninja squeezed her around the waist and smiled.

“How’s the furniture business coming along?” Narissa asked.

“It’s also thriving and striving. I am swamped with orders. I have a waiting list a mile long. It’s going to take me three months to catch up once we get home.”

“Home? You guys are just visiting?” Ninja asked.

“Denver is my home. I have friends and family there that also love Lyla. She also cares for them. We’ve talked, she likes Colorado and wants to stay there for now. I’d move here for her if she asked, but she didn’t and said she wanted to stay in Colorado, so yeah home.”

“She has family here too,” Ninja grumbled.

“Yeah, and in New York. But she’s settled on Denver, is there a problem?” I knew it, he still wants her.

“No, I’ll just miss her, that's all,” he said quietly.

I wanted to punch him for wanting my woman and then saying that in front of his wife. Like what the f*ck?

“We can always visit, baby. I know you’ll miss her.”

He shrugged. “She was like my person before I met you, baby. I could always talk to her about anything, and she put my PTSD in perspective. She’s helped me. She’s like my best friend if I ever had one.”

OHHHHHH Sh*t, I’ve had it all wrong. Now I feel like a complete a*shole.

“I’ve been so jealous of you,” I said. Then my eyes widened. I did not mean to say that out loud.

Jessie burst out laughing, Ava, Hanna and Narissa covered their mouths giggling. Ninja looked at me in confusion.

“I thought you were in love with her,” I said.

“Um, no. I mean before Ava, I thought maybe I could have something with her, but the more I spent time with her and then that one time with her, I really discovered that no, we were not compatible. We are both too much of the same person. Plus, I met Ava. She’s the love of my life and I wouldn’t have it any other way,” he said, snuggling into his wife. She blushed, and then he lifted her chin and kissed her. “Not to mention, she can literally kick my ass, no thank you.”

I chuckled at that, feeling a bunch better about Ninja.

“You hated me, didn’t you? Because of our past?” he asked.

I looked a little sheepish and nodded.

“It’s okay Conner, I felt the same way. I mean she’s gorgeous,” Ava said.

“Ava, you are gorgeous. Don’t ever doubt that,” she blushed. Ninja glared at me and growled.

“Stop flirting with my wife. I’ll have to rearrange that pretty boy face you have.”

Ava and Narissa start laughing. Jessie shakes his head.

“Careful Ninja, I’d hate to make Ava a widow. Conner is mine and Tiffany’s favorite,” Hanna said with a feral smile.

“Jesus. Ava come on, my ego is bruised, I need you to stroke it,” he said with a wicked smile.

“Your ego, right,” Jessie mumbled, making all of us laugh.

It turned out to be a good night. There was a painting of an avenging angel shielding the innocent. It reminded me of Lyla so I bought it. It set me back by thirty grand, but it was worth it. I would hang it in the warehouse across from my work station so when she was gone I could look at it and smile.