Falling For You

Chapter 6: The Fall: Part II

“Your punishment will be the greatest of all, Lucifer,” Father began. “You shall be damned to the pits of hell to rule over the suffering of the mortals you inspired to go against me. And you should reign over your siblings as the new demons of Hell,” He paused and turned to the others standing with Lucifer. “You have two choices, my children. You may either become a demon or a human. Should you choose humanity, you will die and your soul will be tortured by your siblings. Should you choose to be a demon, you will torture the souls of humans you were so envious of.”

Most of my siblings chose to be demons. I guessed it was because they wanted to avoid being tortured and most hated the humans for taking away Father’s love. Seraphina chose to be a demon. This was a bit painful, but at least I knew none of our siblings would torture her. At least, I wouldn’t be the one to deliver her to them. The thought sent shivers down my spine. Imagining carrying her soul to Hell to be tortured for all eternity was unbearable.

As soon as the last of my siblings declared their choice, God opened the skies and The Great Fall began. As much as I wished to look away, I couldn’t. As the sky opened up beneath Seraphina, I fell to my knees. There were so many things that I wished I had more time to tell her. So many things that I’m sure she wished to tell me. Seraphina’s face was full of agony and her eyes never left mine as she began her descent.

A single tear fell down my cheek as I watched her fall further and further. I felt as though I would remain there watching her for an eternity. But I felt a hand touch my shoulder and then another. The hands slowly moved down to my waist and helped me up. The arms pulled me into a warm embrace, and at first, it was comforting. Then I looked up to see who had rescued me from my spiral of despair and felt even more betrayed. Cassiel held me and looked intently down into my eyes.

“No,” I whispered, as I tried to push my way out of his arms.

He held me even tighter and tried to comfort me, “It’s okay, Azrael. You’re okay. It’s all going to be alright.”

“No,” I said louder. This time my strength was enough to force him away from me. “This is your fault. If I had just listened to her about you, she wouldn’t have done this. This is your fault!” I finished in a scream, the tears now falling freely down my face.

I forced my wings out against my better judgment and leapt down before anyone could stop me. Cassiel called out to me, but I ignored him. She was all that I could think about. She was not the one who let me down, he was. Now I had to do whatever I could to fix this. I raced as quickly as I could to catch up with her, but just as our fingers touched, Father intervened.

I screamed and it echoed in the distant mountains. The next thing I knew, I was in my room. The soft bed of flowers in the meadow broke my fall, but it did nothing to mend my heart. Another scream ripped from my chest as the betrayal and the fall repeated again and again in my mind.

He hurt me and I caused her to fall. How could Father let this happen? Why would he allow this to happen? Why would he not let me intervene? Why not just let me fall with her? The tears continued to roll and the pain only intensified the longer I sat there and thought. After what seemed like a millennia, someone knocked on my door.

“Enter,” I croaked, my throat was raw from all the screaming at this point.

The angel I didn’t want to see opened the door. Cassiel’s eyes were red at the rims. He walked towards me slowly as if he thought I might explode on him again. He was not wrong, that is exactly what I wanted to do. But, I held my tongue, hoping that he had come to apologize at the very least, or, at the most, he was bringing me a plan or a loophole for Seraphina. He kneeled in front of me, his eyes on the ground. I heard his breath catch and then he gained enough nerve to look into my eyes.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered, “I had no idea that was going to happen. If I had known…”

He stopped, lost in thought; I finished for him, “If you had known, you wouldn’t have done anything. You would have stayed at Father’s side like the soldier that you are. You’ll never change. You will never feel for me a tenth of what I feel for you,” I replied acidically.

“That’s not true, Azrael. I- I do feel for you… but I can’t change Father’s plans. There is still much work left to be done and we all have a large role to play, whether we know it or not,” his voice was pleading, desperate for me to understand.

“Yes, and here we are, being Father’s good little angel army,” I replied sarcastically.

“Azrael,” he murmured in frustration, “You know that’s not what I meant.”

“It may not be what you meant, but it’s what Father has decided. Whether we like it or not, we are doing what he wants us to do… I’ve recently learned what he meant by free will and fate,” I softened as the realization hit me. “There is no such thing as complete freedom. We get to make little choices, but do you know what that means in the grand scheme of things?”

“I- I’m not following. What are you talking about?” Cassiel asked as he reached up to wipe away a stray tear.

“Don’t you get it?” I answered angrily, “ We have no free will. Everything we do leads us directly to the fate Father has set for us. My feelings for you led to my betrayal of her, which led to her decision to join Lucifer. That decision then led me to become what Father wants me to be. No matter what, Father is the reason for all of this. It’s not some beautiful existence where we can be what we wish, it’s all a lie. We are what Father sets us up to be and even if we try to change it, there is no use. He’s ten steps ahead of us and has it all planned out!”

“I can’t talk to you when you are like this. I will come back later when you are calmer,” he responded robotically as he began to stand.

I pulled him back down, and before he could reject me, I kissed him hard and passionately. He resisted at first, but when he realized I wasn’t ready to let go, he surrendered. As our kiss lengthened, he became more affected by me. His hands found their way to my face and into my hair. I took this as my cue to do the same and greedily skimmed his chiseled arms. Our passion grew, and we became a panting mess. He pushed me down gently and climbed on top of me.

“Cassiel,” I moaned around his kisses.

“Azrael,” he murmured back huskily, “you don’t know a tenth of what I feel for you.”