Falling For You

Chapter 15: The Wise Woman's Words Part II

Eve’s eyes widened at my confession, “Oh, my! I didn’t consider- That makes things much more complicated, doesn’t it?”

“Yes, it does. Cassiel hates her and she wants me to stay away from him. No matter what I do, the two people I care so deeply for will never get along. They pull me in opposite directions,” I whispered as a single tear slipped down my cheek.

“I’m so sorry. This is an impossible decision to make… It sounds to me like you don’t really know who your soulmate is. Are you completely sure that your friend isn’t meant to be your soulmate?” Eve asked slowly, as if she too couldn’t figure out the puzzle that was my life.

“I don’t-” Was Eve right? I hadn’t completely considered the idea. Cassiel had said that he saw Father’s work, that he knew I was his soulmate, but did that mean he was mine? Had he even told me the truth? “I honestly don’t know,” I responded, defeated.

“Perhaps it is wise to slow things down? Maybe you need to take time to think about both relationships and choose the one that is better for you?” Eve mused softly.

This stopped me in my tracks. She wasn’t wrong, I could walk away from both if I wanted to. Father couldn’t force me to do something I didn’t want to do, or could he? “You may be right, but if it is fate, do I really have a choice?”

“It’s called free will for a reason, is it not? Whether fate exists or not, we can still choose. Even if that choice is an illusion, we still got to choose. I think that’s the whole point. As long as we choose, fate doesn’t matter. If I were to choose to leave this,” she gestured to the Garden, “it doesn’t matter if God made it my fate to leave because I chose to go.”

“I hadn’t thought about it like that, but- If I choose to reject both of them…” I began, but couldn’t finish. I was too terrified of what the answer might be.

“It doesn’t matter if one is your soulmate or not. If you choose to leave them both behind, it is because you wanted to, not because fate said you had to. If you choose one, it is not because you are fated to, it is because that is what you wanted. Don’t worry about fate, if something is meant to be, it will be because you willed it to be so,” Eve smiled, then gave an even deeper piece of wisdom, “We are the ones who decide our fates. Even God himself doesn’t explain our fates. He leaves it up to us to decide.”

I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I had been holding, “Thank you, Eve. You gave me a lot to consider.”

“You are most welcome, my friend. You must make some hard decisions when you are ready. Just remember, to do what is best for you,” Eve embraced me and then stood to leave, “If you find the time later, I am always a good listener. Don’t be afraid to visit again.”

“I will definitely visit you again,” the thought didn’t enter my mind until the words escaped, but the image of me coming to take her soul flashed across. I flinched at the thought. She was a good person, and I didn’t want to take her to Hell. Lilith didn't deserve that either. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Of course, anything.”

“Adam’s previous wife- why aren’t they together anymore? I know it’s not my business, but I am curious why she isn’t here still,” I asked, worried that I had crossed a line with her.

She frowned for just a moment, before she smiled again and answered, “Lilith didn’t want to compromise with Adam on anything. I don’t know all the details, but I do know she abandoned him and The Garden. I can’t say much else because that’s all he will tell me.”

“Oh, okay. Thanks,” I murmured. “I should go now. I will visit you again one day.”

“I am glad to have met you. You are a wonderful person and a wonderful friend,” Eve said, sweetly.

“Azrael. My name is Azrael.”

“Azrael,” she mimicked, her smile widening.

We turned and began our journeys in separate directions. My heart felt heavier than when I had left Cassiel. I had to figure out what I was going to do and who I was going to choose. Eve had made it seem so simple, but now that I was on my own, it didn’t seem as easy to do. I felt great kinship with Eve; she was a good confidant, but to put her advice into action scared me to no end.

But my determination was much greater than it had been before. Eve gave me hope that I hadn’t had since The Fall. It would be hard to decide between Cassiel and Seraphina, but I could decide. Eve had made that clear. It was so odd to me that Father hadn’t explained anything, but somehow, in the end, he had. I thought back to the moment in Father’s office.

“So, does that mean free will is the greatest lie of all?” I finally spat out to Father in anger.

“I guess you will just have to figure that out for yourself, won’t you? Like I said, we all have to suffer and fall, before we can rise from the ashes,” He had murmured with a small smile on his lips, then he picked up his book and returned to where he had left off.

The memory in his office held a new feeling to it. I felt I was beginning to understand something, like the pieces of a puzzle were finally starting to fall into place. The smile he gave me shined in his eyes as if he had thought something was funny. Did he already foresee this talk between Eve and me? Did he plan this form of free will and fate for us all? Did he let the humans choose this after eating the forbidden fruit?

If he did, maybe there was something good about humanity after all.