Falling For You

Chapter 16: The Gray Beast

As I flew out of The Garden, I wondered when I would be able to visit again. I enjoyed Eve’s company, not just because she could help me with my problems, but because she was so insightful. Had the forbidden fruit awakened something in her that I was unaware of? Perhaps I would have to eat the forbidden fruit myself one day.

Or maybe my job was enough to show me all I needed to know about humanity. I’d already seen so much from my experience with Lilith, and now, just talking with Eve gave me perspective that even Cassiel and Seraphina couldn’t provide.

Lilith. I had promised to visit her, but I wasn’t sure that I was ready to face her yet. I didn’t know where to go, but I knew that Hell was not an ideal spot to think either. I decided eventually to find a secluded mountain range because it wasn’t far away. This left me alone with my thoughts. My only worry was that Cassiel would find me before I was ready to talk with him.

Again, I was left with what to say to Cassiel. What did I want to say? Did I need to explain Seraphina to him? Probably. Did I want to? No. He seemed to think she was worse than Lucifer, which didn’t seem fair. She did nothing wrong. She only did what felt right to her, and that couldn’t be wrong, could it?

As I sat lost in thought, I felt a pair of eyes watching me. I assumed it was an animal and did my best to ignore it. The feeling didn’t go away, and it felt like whatever was watching me was slowly slinking closer. Some bushes nearby began to rustle and I felt my body tense.

The creature that seemed to be stalking me, moved at a leisurely pace towards me and out of the bushes’ shadows. When it came into the light, I could clearly see that it was a gray mountain lion with yellow eyes. I felt my body relax when I knew that it was only an animal. There was nothing that this mountain lion could do to me.

I resumed my private thoughts and no longer paid any attention to it. The mountain lion had other ideas, however. It came right up to me with no fear or worry in its eyes. It must have sensed my divinity and knew I wouldn’t hurt it. I absently began to pet the creature. Its fur was a bit coarse on top but the layers beneath were soft.

Why it wanted anything to do with me was a mystery. Most animals, even those that sensed angelic essence, usually avoided us. It wasn’t fear necessarily that kept them away, but they were usually wary. This animal, however, didn’t seem bothered in the least by my presence. I watched its eyes in fascination. It looked back at me just as curiously.

I sat still as a statue and waited for it to lose interest. My thoughts eventually engulfed me again. Maybe I should have just stayed in The Garden. Nothing was going the way I wanted it to go. I felt like a failure and was unhappy with everything and everyone. Father for barring me from going home. Cassiel for not listening to me. And… Seraphina? Was I mad at her?

I was jolted from my thoughts as fur brushed softly against my arm and leg. The mountain lion looked up at me innocently. A small smile formed on my lips. I patted the beast on the head slowly and it rubbed its face on my leg again and let out a loud purr. Impressed by the level of willingness to let me touch it, I began to pet it from head to tail like a house cat.

Eventually, the cat was content enough to fall asleep at my feet. It warmed my heart to know that two creatures trusted me so easily. Eve and this animal were so different from the rest of the angels I cared about. Eve was right, I had a tough road ahead of me, but the sooner I started, the sooner I would be done.

I stood and began to descend the mountain. As I started to walk away, I felt a tug on my robes. I looked back to see the mountain lion had my robes in its mouth. I chuckled at this and motioned for it to come along with me.

“You are a curious one, aren’t you?” I laughed again.

Did this mean the cat had claimed me as its owner? The thought was interesting, but I had a job that would take me everywhere and I wasn’t quite sure that the animal would be able to follow. I supposed that it would want to follow me where it could though. I began to think of names to call the animal. Nothing fitting came to mind. I paused to look back at it. As I did, a beam of sun broke out of the clouds and cast light not far away from us, casting our shadows onto the rocks behind us.

“Shadow,” I murmured softly.

The cat purred at the name and rubbed against me once again. The happiness of the cat didn’t stop the flash of a dark cave with a dead woman holding her dead baby. Had Lilith done something so terrible? Had she betrayed Adam? It didn’t seem like she had done anything wrong. Was it because she left with his baby?

“I have to go back,” I turned to look at Shadow.

I knew it would be hard to avoid Seraphina and her lies, but I didn’t have the answers I needed. It really felt like Lilith was the key to understanding my role in this messed-up angelic taxi service. Shadow looked at me with knowing eyes and found a tree with a large branch to perch on. I smiled at the oddness of my newest friend. It was like Shadow sensed my intentions. I felt a warmth in my soul and it was almost as if I suddenly knew what Shadow was thinking.

He seemed to understand that I was leaving, the feeling hit me and was an empty pit. I watched as he laid himself out on the branch and then the feeling dissipated and was replaced by the warmth again.

“I will return to you, Shadow. My word is my bond,” I said, firmly.

His gaze held mine steadily and with a soulful depth that I didn’t quite understand. Shadow bowed his head slowly, then looked into my eyes again. I nodded back to him and turned away. I opened my wings slowly and stretched them wide. Inwardly, I groaned. I was going back to the one place I really didn’t want to go, but I had promised to come back for Lilith. I guess it was time I made good on my promise to her.