DESPERATE HEROINES

CHAPTER 16: THE DAY

Thursday morning and I woke up to silence.

Not the bad kind. The good kind. The kind where there’s no hospital machines, no lawyers, no 3am panic calls, just... quiet. And then I remembered why and bolted upright so fast I almost fell off the couch because Liam is home, Liam is actually in his room, and I spent the first 5 minutes just standing in his doorway watching his chest go up and down to make sure it was real.

He had both dinosaurs. Blue and green. One in each hand like he was ready for a fight even in his sleep.

Damian was already up. On my couch. With a blanket that was definitely mine and coffee that was definitely not mine because I didn’t make it.

"Morning," he said, quiet, like he was afraid of waking the whole building.

"Morning." I whispered back. "You didn’t leave?"

"No." He rubbed his eyes. "Didn’t know if I should."

Right. Because now what. The court case is over, charges dropped, custody signed, Richard yelled and got kicked out, so what’s left? Awkward? Yes. A lot of awkward.

Liam woke up at 7:13 exactly, because kids have internal clocks and apparently his is set to "find mama immediately." He ran out, saw me, saw Damian, and just stopped.

"Oh," he said. "You’re both here."

"Yep," I said. "Pancakes?"

"With the dinosaur shaped ones?"

"If we have the mold."

We didn’t. But we made them anyway and they looked like sad blobs and Liam said they were perfect.

####

By 9am reality hit.

I have a job. Or had a job. The cafe. I called in sick 3 times this week and my manager texted `we need to talk` which is code for `you’re fired but nicely`.

Damian saw my face when I read it.

"What."

"I think I’m unemployed."

"Okay." He sipped coffee. "Okay. We’ll figure it out."

"We? " I said it before I could stop myself.

"Yeah. We." He didn’t backtrack. "Unless you don’t want me to."

I didn’t answer. Because I didn’t know.

The apartment felt smaller with three people in it. Not bad smaller. Just... real smaller. Liam’s toys everywhere. Damian’s laptop on the table. My laundry that I’d been ignoring for 15 days in a pile.

"I should clean," I said.

"I can help."

"You don’t have to."

"I know."

So we cleaned. Together. In silence that wasn’t terrible. Liam "helped" by putting all the socks in one drawer and all the shirts in another and calling it organization.

At noon the doorbell rang.

It was a delivery.

From Ms. Nakato.

A box. Inside: copies of everything. Court orders, custody papers, the dismissal letter. And a note.

`You won. Don’t let anyone tell you different. Call me if Richard tries anything. - N`

I held the papers and my hands didn’t shake this time.

Damian read over my shoulder. "See. Real."

"Yeah."

####

The afternoon was weird.

Weird in a normal way.

Liam wanted to go to the park.

So we went. All three of us.

And people stared because Damian is tall and in a suit and I’m in sweatpants and Liam is running around with a green dinosaur, but nobody said anything.

Liam climbed on the slide and yelled "DAD WATCH" and Damian’s whole face did something I can’t describe and he yelled back "I SEE YOU BUDDY" and I had to look away because my eyes were doing the thing.

We sat on a bench after.

Liam was in the sandbox.

"So," Damian said. "Job."

"I know."

"I can help. With money. Until you find something."

"I don’t want your money, Damian."

"I know. But it’s not my money. It’s Liam’s. For food. For school."

I kicked at the dirt. "I’ll think about it."

"Fair."

He didn’t push.

####

At 5pm my phone rang.

Richard.

I almost didn’t answer.

Then I did.

"What do you want."

"You can’t keep him from me," he said. No hello. "I have rights."

"The court said no contact."

"That was before."

"Before what?"

"Before I got a better lawyer."

Click.

My hands were shaking again.

Damian was next to me in 2 seconds. "What."

"Richard."

"What did he say."

"Better lawyer."

Damian cursed. Once. Under his breath. "Okay. Okay. We call Nakato. Now."

We did.

She answered on the second ring. "Tell me."

I told her.

"Don’t worry," she said. "He can try. He won’t win. But I’m filing a restraining order today. Just in case."

Just in case.

Two words that ruined the whole good day.

####

That night Liam asked questions.

"Mama, why was Uncle Richard mad?"

"He’s just... confused, baby."

"Is he gonna take me again?"

Damian and I looked at each other.

"No," I said. Firm. "No one’s taking you. You’re home."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

He seemed to believe me. He fell asleep fast, between us on my bed because he said he missed the middle.

Damian stayed on the edge. Didn’t touch me.

"You think he’ll actually do something?" I whispered.

"I don’t know. But we’re ready."

We sat there until 1am. Talking. Not about the case. About stupid stuff.

His first job. My worst date. Liam’s favorite color being green now because of the new dinosaur.

It was nice.

Dangerously nice.

####

Friday.

Day 17.

4 days left until the case is officially closed and sealed.

I woke up to an email.

From the cafe.

`Effective immediately, your position has been terminated due to excessive absence.`

I stared at it for a long time.

Then I closed my laptop.

Damian was in the kitchen. Making eggs. Again.

"You okay?"

"No."

"Want to talk about it?"

"I lost my job."

"I know." He handed me a plate. "Eat. Then we’ll figure it out."

I ate.

Because he was right and because I was hungry and because fighting about it wouldn’t get the job back.

After breakfast he said, "Come with me."

"Where."

"Job interview."

"What."

"My friend owns a bookstore. She needs help. Part time. Flexible. Pays better than the cafe."

"I can’t just—"

"You can. I already told her about you. She said come today."

I wanted to say no. To be stubborn.

But Liam was watching cartoons and we needed money and I was tired of being broke.

"Fine."

####

The bookstore was small. Smelled like paper and vanilla.

The owner, Amina, was maybe 40. Kind eyes.

"Lila, right? Damian said you’re good with kids and better with books."

"I read a lot."

"That’s all I need." She handed me an apron. "Can you start Monday? 4 hours a day. $12 an hour."

$12.

That’s double the cafe.

"Yes," I said. "Yes I can."

On the way home I didn’t say anything for a while.

Then: "Thank you."

"For what."

"For not making me beg."

He shrugged. "You wouldn’t anyway."

####

Saturday.

Day 18.

3 days left.

We fell into a routine.

Morning: pancakes. Afternoon: park. Evening: dinner on the floor.

Liam called it "our family time" and neither of us corrected him.

Richard didn’t call again.

The restraining order came through.

Ms. Nakato texted: `He’s quiet. For now. Stay alert.`

Stay alert.

Right.

Sunday night, after Liam was asleep, Damian and I were on the couch.

Not touching. Just close.

"I should probably go," he said. "To my place."

"Yeah."

"But I don’t want to."

"Me neither."

We sat there.

"I’m scared," I admitted. "That this is temporary."

"It’s not."

"How do you know?"

"Because I’m not going anywhere. And neither are you."

He reached over and took my hand.

This time I didn’t pull away.

####

Monday.

Day 19.

2 days left.

First day at the bookstore.

It was good.

Kids came in and I read to them and one little girl said I had a "mom voice" and I cried in the bathroom for 2 minutes but in a good way.

When I got home, Damian had dinner.

And Liam had a drawing.

Of the three of us. Stick figures. Holding hands.

Under it he wrote: `MY FAMILY`

I put it on the fridge.

####

Tuesday.

Day 20.

1 day left.

The final court email came.

`Case 4821 is now closed. All orders are final.`

Closed.

I read it out loud to Damian and Liam.

Liam clapped.

Damian just nodded, like he’d been waiting for someone to say it so he could believe it.

That night, after Liam was asleep, we sat on the floor again.

Pizza. Again.

"So," Damian said. "What now."

"Now we live," I said. "I think."

"Yeah."

"With you on the couch sometimes?"

"If you’ll let me."

"I will."

We didn’t make any big promises.

No "I love you"s.

No "forever"s.

Just... tomorrow.

And for the first time in 20 days, tomorrow didn’t feel scary.

It felt like maybe.

Maybe we get to be okay.

Maybe desperate heroines get an epilogue.

END OF CHAPTER 16