CHAPTER 18 : NORMAL
1113 Words
Saturday.
Day 24.
Nothing happened.
And I mean that in the best way possible.
No knocks. No calls. No court. No Richard.
Just... Saturday.
I woke up at 8am because Liam jumped on my bed.
"Mama! Pancakes!"
"Okay okay." I groaned into my pillow. "Give me 5 minutes."
"Dad can make them!"
Dad.
Right.
Damian was already in the kitchen. Again.
In my t-shirt and pajama pants. Hair a mess.
"Morning," he said, flipping something.
"Morning."
"Sad blob pancakes?"
"Only if you want to break a 4 year old’s heart."
So we made them.
And they were still blobs.
Liam ate 4 and said they were the best pancakes in the world.
####
After breakfast we did nothing.
And it was amazing.
We took the cameras off our phones for like 2 hours.
We went to the park.
Liam ran. We walked.
No looking over our shoulders.
No checking exits.
Just sun. And grass. And a kid laughing.
"Do you remember the last time we did this?" Damian asked.
"Before everything?"
"Yeah."
"No." I kicked a rock. "It feels like years ago."
"It was 3 months ago."
Right.
We sat on a bench.
Liam was on the swings.
"I applied for a job," Damian said suddenly.
"What kind."
"Remote. Tech stuff. So I can be... here more."
Here.
My apartment.
"Oh."
"Is that okay?"
"Yeah." I meant it. "Yeah it’s okay."
He nodded and didn’t say anything else.
####
Sunday.
Day 25.
Church.
I hadn’t been in months.
But Liam asked, and Amina said she could watch the store, so we went.
Three of us.
Holding hands walking in.
People stared.
I didn’t care.
The pastor talked about forgiveness.
And second chances.
And I cried. Not ugly crying. Just quiet.
Damian handed me a tissue without looking at me.
After, an old lady pinched Liam’s cheek and said "What a beautiful family."
Liam beamed.
I didn’t correct her.
####
Monday.
Day 26.
Back to work.
The bookstore was busy.
Kids. Moms. Old men reading newspapers.
I shelved books and read stories and for the first time in forever I didn’t check my phone every 5 minutes.
At 3pm Damian texted: `got the job`
`remote??`
`remote. starts next week`
I smiled at my phone like an i***t.
When I got home, he was there.
With groceries. And takeout.
"Didn’t feel like cooking," he said.
"Me neither."
We ate on the floor.
Liam told us about his day.
About a girl named Maya who shared her crayons.
About how he built the tallest block tower.
At bedtime he asked, "Can Dad read me a story?"
Damian looked at me.
"Please," I said.
So he did.
The dinosaur book. In a silly voice.
Liam fell asleep halfway through.
####
Tuesday.
Day 27.
Routine.
That’s what this week became.
Routine.
Morning pancakes.
Work.
Park after.
Dinner.
Bath.
Books.
Bed.
Damian on the couch.
Me in my room.
Liam between us sometimes.
No drama.
No yelling.
Just life.
It was weird.
Good weird.
On Wednesday night we were doing dishes together.
Liam in the bath.
"So," Damian said. "This is weird, right?"
"What."
"This. Us. Normal."
"Yeah." I scrubbed a plate. "It’s weird."
"Good weird though?"
"Good weird."
He bumped my shoulder with his.
"Okay."
####
Thursday.
Day 28.
Ms. Nakato called.
"Just checking in. Any contact?"
"No."
"Good. The 2 year order is solid. He violates it, he goes to jail. Period."
"Okay."
"And Lila? You’re doing good. You and Damian both."
I hung up and stared at the wall.
Doing good.
When was the last time someone said that to me?
####
Friday.
Day 29.
Liam had a fever.
Not bad. 100.2
But enough to cancel work.
I texted Amina.
She said take the day.
Damian came over at lunch with soup.
And popsicles.
And a new dinosaur.
Purple.
"For when he’s sick," he said.
We took turns.
Me: cold cloths.
Damian: reading stories.
Liam: complaining and then falling asleep.
At 9pm his fever broke.
We were both on the floor next to his bed.
Exhausted.
"Thank you," I whispered.
"For what."
"For being here."
He looked at me. Really looked.
"I’m not going anywhere, Lila."
I believed him.
####
Saturday.
Day 30.
One month.
One month since everything started.
Since the call. Since the hospital. Since Richard.
And today we did laundry.
Together.
Like a real couple.
Or a real family.
Or whatever we are.
We folded clothes.
Liam "helped" by throwing socks.
We ordered Thai food.
We watched a movie and fell asleep on the couch.
All three of us.
When I woke up at 2am, Damian was still asleep.
Liam was between us, snoring.
I didn’t move.
Didn’t want to break it.
####
Sunday.
Day 31.
The case is officially sealed tomorrow.
Day 32.
But today was just Sunday.
We went to the farmers market.
Bought strawberries.
Liam ate 3 before we got home.
In the afternoon we cleaned the apartment.
Not deep clean. Just... living clean.
Damian fixed the leaky faucet.
I painted Liam’s room. Light blue.
"Like the sky," he said.
At dinner he said a prayer.
"Thank you God for mama and dad and home and dinosaurs."
Dad.
Nobody corrected him.
After bed, Damian and I sat outside on the little balcony.
It was cold.
We shared a blanket.
"I’m scared," I said.
"Of what."
"That this is the calm before another storm."
"It might be."
"And?"
"And we’ll handle it. Together."
Together.
That word again.
"I’m not used to this," I admitted.
"Me neither."
"Used to what."
"Peace."
We sat there until our fingers were cold.
####
Monday.
Day 32.
Sealed.
Email at 9am.
`Case 4821: Sealed. All parties notified.`
It’s over.
Legally.
Really over.
I read it to Damian.
He pulled me into a hug.
Quick.
But real.
Liam was at preschool.
So we had the apartment to ourselves.
We didn’t do anything big.
We made coffee.
We sat on the couch.
We didn’t talk about the case.
We talked about the future.
School for Liam.
My job at the bookstore.
Damian’s new remote job.
A trip to the zoo next month.
Normal things.
At 5pm we picked up Liam.
He ran to us.
"Did we win?"
"We won, baby."
"Yay!"
####
It’s Monday night now.
Day 32.
Liam is asleep.
Purple dinosaur in one hand.
Green in the other.
Damian is on the couch.
Watching TV with the volume low.
I’m writing this at the kitchen table.
And I’m thinking...
Maybe this is it.
Maybe desperate heroines get to rest.
Maybe we get normal.
I’m not saying forever.
I’m not saying perfect.
I’m just saying... tonight.
Tonight we’re okay.
And tonight is enough.
*End of Chapter 18
- Writer
