When Love is Pain

The Resurrection

Nisha's classes for the 2nd year resumed on 1st August, 2023. She met Maya this time in the campus riding on a golf cart with others, heading towards the convention centre where a welcome ceremony for the freshers was held. Nisha was wearing her blue sunglasses, she didn't expect Maya to recognise her in those sunglasses but Maya was already smiling at her by that time. Green signal. Finally, after six months, Maya had decided to start afresh, she came back. Nisha smiled too and asked her how she had been doing, Maya replied in affirmative and asked Nisha the same question to which she tilted her head indicating she was fine. Nisha was happy she got Maya back. No more dismissals. She thought she did the right thing by giving her space. Nisha felt she had known earlier that Maya would definitely return one day, their bond has been something inseparable.

Some people return just when you stop hoping and when they smile at you again, you forget all the reasons you ever cried.

By this time, Nisha had written a poem for Maya:

The Eighth Wonder of the World

She was the eighth wonder of the world,

She had vibrant eyes with big, dark eyeballs which seemed to narrate some story.

She had enchanting lips that attracted me like a magnet,

Looking at her hands I used to wonder how a single touch

Would instantly release the love hormone in my body,

She had a face like that of a full moon

and skin fairer than the Taj Mahal

but she was clumsy, forgetful &

sometimes a crackhead!

You know, she was the eighth wonder of the world!

I wasn't supposed to have feelings for her

but they are something one can't control.

Once she told me," Nobody has ever loved me like this."

I can never forget those wintry evenings when I used to get frozen

still I waited for her, just to see her once.

She was a proton, spreading positivity wherever she went.

We walked together under the stars,

She used to ask me," How was your day?"

I used to recount numerous things which I knew would never make sense to her

I loved conversing with her no doubt

but found myself lost in her presence.

She was the eighth wonder of the world

Whom I wanted to take home so that after a hard day at work,

I get to see her smile!

She was the eighth wonder of the world

to whom I could never confess my love.

I was even ready to share her with her husband,

but I think we were never meant to be together.

I fell for her at the very first sight not knowing her properly,

I fell for her beauty, words, nature and wisdom

and when I got to know her, I understood

that she can never be mine

but it was too late since I had already fallen for her.

She was my anti-depressant,

She was the love of my life,

even though I was never in her thoughts,

she was always there in mine!

She was the eighth wonder of the world!

Nisha knew Maya would never read this poem but it was better if she didn't, she couldn't think what Maya would do if she ever came to know about Nisha's feelings. Firstly, she'd cut off all ties with Nisha, and may even try to suspend her, she was a powerful authority in the University. Secondly, she might get upset by the complexity of the situation. Nisha didn't want any of these. By this time, she had decided she'd never tell Maya that she loves her, some love stories are better when they aren't pronounced but just felt in shared glances and moments. Nisha feared a scandal: she had to protect herself, moreover she had to protect Maya's dignity and her marriage.

Maya's birthday was on 5th September. She was turning 39. On 4th September, Nisha went up to Maya after she seated herself on the front row.

"I won't be returning by bus tomorrow so happy birthday in advance, ma'am!"

Maya was ransacking her handbag, she didn't look up, didn't smile that much just asked," how did you know?"

"Actually ma'am, I saw people wishing you a happy birthday on 5th September on Facebook."

Maya didn't quite entertain Nisha that much hence she returned back to her seat.

The next day, Nisha wrote on Maya's wall, "Happy Birthday ma'am, many many happy returns of the day! May you become more beautiful and more successful in days to come!" Maya didn't comment a "Thank You", she just reacted heart against Nisha's post.

"She must be getting quite a lot of wishes today, maybe it's not possible for her to reply to everyone," Nisha thought.

She didn't expect to meet Maya in the campus that day, but she met twice. The first time, Maya was headed somewhere with Tarun sir but she noticed Nisha and smiled. Nisha wished her again. This time, Maya thanked her. Maya was wearing a shiny dark pink coloured saree and a shiny dark green blouse. Now Maya didn't often wear sarees to the college and the times she wore one, Nisha only saw that in photos, it's the first time she saw Maya before her in a saree. She looked graceful even without a tinge of makeup.

"You look very good, ma'am!"

"Thank you!" Maya smiled again.

The second time they just happened to accidentally cross paths again but they smiled seeing each other. Nisha was roaming in the campus with one of her juniors, her devotees brother. He asked her," Nisha di, who was she? She looked beautiful!"

"She's actually someone special for me."

Later Maya, posted some of her pictures where her students were celebrating her birthday. Maya wrote:" Thank you everyone for your wishes, these little things help me keep going..."

Maya had been feeding her birthday cake to her students.

Nisha's comment," That girl is very lucky ma'am!" Maya reacted a haha emoji to her comment. Nisha felt uninvited but then she told herself she wasn't supposed to get an invitation anyway. Who's she? Just an acquaintance. She doesn't even belong to Maya's department, let alone the thought of being her student but she couldn't stop herself from imagining how nice it would have been if Maya had fed her the cake.... With her own hands!

One day, Nisha was sitting in the bus. She suddenly happened to look out and spotted Maya immediately. Their eyes met instantly as if someone had told them," Hey look, there she is!" Maya smiled widely, it was warmer and more personal than ever. She had never given that smile to Nisha before. Nisha's heart started pacing so fast that she got up from her seat and started dancing, thankfully there was no one present in the bus otherwise it'd have been very embarrassing.

Then again, Maya didn't come for like 3 days. She posted about her research work being accepted: " Even amidst severe illness, there's a reason for happiness."

While everyone wrote "Congratulations", Nisha only wrote, "Get well soon, ma'am❤️" not because she wasn't happy for Maya's published paper but because her health mattered to her more. Maya didn't reply to her comment, again just reacted a heart. "Her comments section is literally flooded, at least she read or saw my message, that counts too," Nisha thought.

Days after, Nisha finally happened to get a chance to talk to Maya alone, none of her colleagues were with her.

"Ma'am, I missed your presence a lot! You know you're a proton spreading positivity wherever you go. What happened to you, ma'am?"

Maya smiled and started providing Nisha with all information related to her health as if Nisha was a doctor, as if Maya had been waiting for Nisha to ask this question.

"You see I was down with fever and somewhat mild asthma. I had been availing only my auto for both the journeys, I told the auto driver today that I was feeling better, so I am availing the bus today."

Maya was smiling and looking into Nisha's eyes while the latter was speaking but when Maya used to speak she avoided eye contact most of the time, not with Nisha but with everyone.

Nisha further added," Can I ask you for advice, ma'am?"

"Yeah sure! Go on!" Maya had been scrolling her phone but closed it immediately to pay attention to Nisha.

Something related to the academic structure of the University and when that was nearly done and Nisha was thinking what else she can ask because she wanted to take the maximum benefit of this moment, she may never find Maya so available again. However, her friends who didn't always talk to her, had to choose just this moment to talk to Nisha, she couldn't disappoint them and had no other option but to attend them. Nisha saw Maya had physically distanced herself from Nisha. Quite natural. How can she just stay in Nisha's vicinity while she was talking to her friends?

Nisha didn't know that fate was sending her signals of the storm that was yet to come.