Darker Than Love

THIS IS BAD REALITY

----------FLASHBACK----------

TEN MONTHS AGO...

Aoi Chiba stares straight back at the pale reflection showing from the mirror in front of her. And with a dazed faraway look drawn on her face, she blinks back to return to her senses. She still could not believe it though. This could still be just a dream, but no matter how many times she keeps glancing down to a certain spot on her left hand, she still sees the sparkling gleam of the silver ring wrapped around her ring finger. And all the while, it stayed there, repeatedly proving back to her that it really did finally happen.

Last night had truly happened.

And it still feels surreal even though it was all real. Aoi could even play the whole scene back again inside her head as if it had been recorded so clearly. She had come back from work last night and caught Kenichi preparing some pleasant dinner for her in the kitchen. This was nothing new to her since it has always been their usual routine every Friday evening. Kenichi would always be off from work during those days. And when she had initially thought everything was just as normal as any other times in the past, Kenichi had suddenly sprung the question over the table to her and directly proposed marriage in the most unexpected moment as if it had been just a natural subject to bring up between them.

Honestly, until now, Aoi Chiba still could not believe how it all had even gone weirdly conversational when she had said yes. She did not even bat an eye, much less quite register what he had actually asked at the time. She had just answered back so casually without not much of a thought. And when she finally did, it had taken her until the end of their dinner last night to really understand what just happened.

The ring became the trigger eventually. And before she realized it, she had already begun crying so hard with tears brought by overwhelming happiness. It was an emotional moment and Kenichi had been too sweet with her until they got to their bed and embraced each other until they fell asleep.

And today, as it sinks in again, Aoi immediately feels her whole face blushing once more from the instant reminder of the whole thing. The air suddenly goes hot all around her and she also struggles to breathe evenly. She heaves and tries to take several deep breaths as she mentally counts numbers inside her head just to calm herself down.

This is crazy, she is actually hyperventilating just from getting so flustered by the sudden flash of reality. But then, how can she not? She has never expected this. She had never even thought she would have been asked for marriage. All her life, Aoi has lived not asking and expecting anything from the world because she grew up with nothing and had tried to accept living that way.

But it all had changed now. It might have already been that way ever since the day she had met Kenichi the first time. Though she had never really thought for a second that he would actually be that interested to ask her out, at first. She even had been so skeptical. Aoi has never been approached by men before. No one ever really showed interest in her. And the only time she ever really did have an intimate moment with someone else was already way, way, back in her high school senior year too. It was not even something you could have considered flirting now. She just had one kiss stolen by her first and only boyfriend at that time and honestly, she never even liked the experience.

It had been so awkward and really uncomfortable, Aoi had felt too bad that it went that way. And since then, she really thought she was just not fit for any relationship... Until she started going out with Kenichi. And surprisingly, it worked so well and much better than she had expected. Even when it was actually the very first time for Aoi to be in a mature relationship, she still felt so comfortable with Kenichi. Though at the first couple of dates, she was really filled with insecurities. She could not really understand what Kenichi had seen on her that would make him so serious to actually date her.

But through those several months, that they have continuously spent knowing and learning things from one another, Aoi has seen so much of Kenichi that she just naturally became so attached to him. Even in his lamest and uncool moments where he would slightly slip a nervous and unguarded expression on his face while trying to really impress her in so many ways, she never felt turned off. He was just so sincere. And he truly liked her, despite her unusual moody temper and her off-handed habit of cursing when she's frustrated and emotional.

It was a long phase of discovering those silly and unattractive sides of their own selves. But for some reason, even with finally witnessing all of those crazy parts about them, they still continued to date. As if, they have just come to accept it. All the bad and the good parts... They have just eventually grown to love each detail about each other all throughout.

Maybe it has been really just fate, after all. And for Aoi, there would have never been anyone else for her anymore.

She never would have imagined herself being this so in love before, yet it has unexpectedly happened. And now, she just only hopes for this love to stay forever.

Because that's all she ever really need to be happy in this world.

___________________________________

----------BACK TO PRESENT----------

The first feeling she gets as Aoi Chiba begins to slowly feel some sensations around her body is the coldness wrapping over her. It is really cold and she could feel the prickling of the hairs on her arms when she tries to adjust to the atmosphere.

Is she possibly... already dead?

But is this something a dead person would even feel if she really had died? She tries to make some movement and the only thing she could do is send some impulse. And after a few attempts, she finally feels her finger slightly reacting. Soon after, she also hears a faint whisper near her ear. Then, she starts to move her eyes this time. She forces them to open, but it just starts making her head hurt as she feels it spinning along with a strong wave of nausea hitting her so strongly.

Well obviously, she is... still more likely alive.

She also tries to take a deeper breath yet only gradually whimpers when the effort suddenly sent a numbing pain straight down inside her chest. Her mouth feels too dry. Aoi struggles to adjust her eyes towards the bright light flashing before her. She slowly tries to blink her eyes open only to quickly squeeze them shut again for a long second when it became too much. She turns her head a little to the side because it had hurt her eyes. A voice soon resonates from a near distance beside her but Aoi still could not clearly understand what it was saying to her. The only thing she could sense at the moment is the extreme heaviness of her whole body and how she could not even lift an arm.

How did she end up like this?

For a long moment, Aoi could not remember anything about herself. But as she slowly tries to calm her mind and revisit her memory... She finally glimpses a hazy scene like an instant recall.

Right. She had been having a confrontation with Kenji Yanagi when she suddenly took a knife. And then, she stabbed herself.

But she thought she would die. Aoi Cherry really thought she was going to die. But as she slowly opens her eyes again, and finally adjusting to the light, she is greeted by the white ceiling before her. A voice faintly calls out from the background again. She still could not hear it. But after a second, she sees a shadow leaning over her. A figure of a man...

And it suddenly looks like Kenichi for a second.

Aoi's heart starts racing up upon seeing her face and she instantly feels so overwhelmed with shock and deep longing. She thought it is real but the view suddenly goes blurred and when she blinks back again with tears in her eyes, the man's face becomes Kenji.

He is looking down at her with wrinkled and sad eyes and she instantly feels annoyed. Why does he stare like that?

Why does he look so worried?

And why isn't she dead? Why is he still keeping her alive?

She does not want to wake up like this. She had already thought of ending her life right there and then but she still finds herself here. Just what does she have to do to stop this all now? She's already had enough. She wants to end it!

But for some reason, Kenji Yanagi seems to believe that he isn't ready yet to let her have what she wants now.

He still needs her. And no matter what happens from here on, he would never let her die until he says so.

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Sarcasm drips heavily in Jin Sasai's voice as he courtly bows his head towards Aoi Chiba after stepping out of the elevator. He sure shifts so fast from being uncomfortably silent and menacing throughout the drive back to the Yanagi's building.

And as Aoi Chiba looks back at him while she still stands slightly unnerved inside the elevators, she slowly settles into shooting an irritated scowl at Jin. It would have been much nicer if he did not have to sound too fake and condescending when he does chivalry things like this to her. She already knows he does not totally trust her. And she does not even really mind that he feels that way since she certainly feels just the same thing too.

She can not really trust anybody here in the Yanagi building. And probably, one of these days, Kenji himself would even be the one to point a gun on her head so he could finally get rid of her. Though in regards to when will be the time it might happen, it still could be too far from today. For now, she just needs to settle herself back to how it should be and go with the flow from there.

Even when she still does not like how this is all playing out before her.

Jin Sasai just holds the door open for the woman who still remains unmoved inside the elevators. He patiently waits yet also raises a brow at her when Aoi slowly takes her time to walk out of the platform. When she finally does, she stops on her steps and is instantly reminded again of the whole thing that had happened to her in this place. She did not really expect she would even be back here. She had been really too sure that she would successfully die that night... Yet now, she is here standing in the very place again.

In Yanagi's penthouse.

And something just tells that she is brought back to life to return here not because of her own purpose anymore.

She had been lucky, that is what it was. When she discovered that she had gone into a coma for a month before waking up, she immediately felt guilty for having to choose her own selfish thoughts. This is just too ridiculous. She felt terrible for not being able to receive death after concluding that she no longer have anything to live for. But she survived, despite not wishing she wanted that. And now, she has to live and accept this fate.

Though, it still is not easy. She even refused to talk to Yanagi for quite a few days, unable to face him for some reason.

But when they had finally agreed to meet, she was already determined to deny answering his questions. He did not force her anymore, yet she felt even more pathetic and useless when he had tried to be considerate. And so, she desperately begged him to let her be killed. It had been an ugly moment. Kenji had angrily rejected her plea so directly and he told her that she will still live with him in the Yanagi building. And that if ever she tries to harm herself again, Yanagi would make sure he and Jin will stop her at any cost.

That is why Jin Sasai is guarding her right now. Kenji seems occupied lately and Aoi Chiba just finally got out of the hospital after spending a whole month and a half long there to go through some procedures. It turns out, she had wounded herself so badly that she needed surgeries. It had been a hell of a time. Aoi was just truly relieved it has been all over now.

And who would have thought, right? She would even actually feel really happy to be just alive and breathing. That sounds hypocritical but she does not deny it. She is truly glad.

"We've made some renovations here while you were in the hospital, Miss Cherry."

In the midst of her musings, Jin's voice cuts in and steals her attention back to the present in an instant. It seems one of the things that Aoi Chiba has also realized herself. The soft-spoken monotone voice of his just swiftly gets to her. And upon hearing him, Aoi turns her head to glance his way where she spots him leaning on a newly-constructed hall beside the living area where the bedroom used to be seen.

"Boss Yanagi had inserted a separate walk-in closet for you beside the bathroom since you've previously requested your own set of wardrobe before."

That is right. Aoi even remembered making that certain call. And now that she thought about it, she somehow found it kind of funny in a bitter way. She had been already planning to kill herself at that time and still, she even had the audacity to ask for such a request.

"Is it a big closet?"

"Really big and filled with clothes, Miss Cherry. In case you still don't know, the Boss is known to be extravagantly generous."

"I can imagine," Aoi just smirks as she remarks back, "So, I guess, he's really keeping me here for good, huh?"

"Why?" Jin's brows furrowed down as he retorts at her, "Aren't you glad about it? Don't you feel even a little grateful that we're still doing this all for you? Despite what you have already caused to the family recently?"

Jin's spiteful statement immediately makes Cherry feel irritated as she squints her eyes at him with a sneer. Yet, this is quite interesting to see. Aoi did not even expect that a man like Jin could actually hold grudges and grouch about it afterward like how a kid would actually do.

"I don't see the need, honestly," Aoi just assertively replies after a beat. And it was the truth.

Jin even knows it. He really does not see any reason for her to be there anymore. After she had been admitted to the hospital, it had become a big hurdle for them to figure out what to do next. They had waited for the worse to come. But surprisingly, Kenji managed to go through the entire promotion a hell of a lot easier than Jin had expected, considering how much they had prepared themselves for any kind of trouble or sudden attack. Kenji even smoothly took over the vacant executive position with no other problems and just successfully got the quick approval of the Oyabun (head of the clan) like that.

Though Sakamoto still remained unconscious, things became peaceful for the next weeks that had come after that. Kenji has officially become a top-tier Yakuza boss and is now two steps closer to the highest. But still, having the ceremony and the entire thing goes on so calmly and accordingly does not really mean that they have finally pushed the enemies off of their backs.

This just makes it all even more critical for Yanagi. Now that he has assumed a post in the executive row, there will be more upcoming challenges waiting ahead of them. With some families still having issues with each other, it is only obvious how things could, later on, possibly resort to another chaotic scenario.

"You may think that way, Miss Cherry," Jin reaffirms after a moment, and when suddenly speaks back, Aoi jolts a little as she glances his way, "But the Boss still needs you."

If Jin's hunch turns out to be really true about Aoi's affiliation with another Yakuza boss, then it is more of their advantage to have her in their keepsake this time. Kenji Yanagi would never be terrorized again by some mysterious bastard hiding his cowardly self in the dark anymore. And Jin will make sure of this. He will protect the Boss no matter what.

He has already sworn his life for it. Yet as for Aoi Chiba, Jin could only do nothing else but keep a close eye on her. All she ever really need to do is to play her part.

He might not trust her at all, but Jin sure knows that she would be of great help to them. Soon.

Because in order to win this twisted kind of game, one just only needs good bait to defeat the enemy. A bait that will become their most significant weapon to win this all over. And Jin already has everything planned.

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