Two Ships

Sweet Breakfast

Abigale knew this was going to be an awkward conversation. It could definitely wait until they had their breakfast.

"Ke, I know that was a lot. Can we just pretend that didn't happen and go back to waking up?"

He was looking at her. Abigale felt like every life choice she had ever made was being questioned. It was like being x-rayed and having all your inner secrets exposed. She had no idea if this was going to be good or bad, but if his expression was any indication, she would be answering some difficult questions today. She sat opposite him at the table. Abigale took a breath. Calming herself was paramount for this. Abigale rose from the table, pulled an ashtray out of the kitchen drawer, and grabbed her cigarettes. Sitting back down, she opened the pack, took one out, offered one to him, which he took, and lit up. Then she sat back and let herself speak.

"Keanu, you have to stop looking at me like that. Your mind is spinning. I can see it. You know nothing about me. And we have kept things very superficial. We have not explored anything beyond the bedroom. I am sure you have a ton of things rattling about up there in your mind and I understand that. I'm not young, I have lived. I have lived and loved, I have traveled and explored. Life experience. You now are part of that, in whatever way you wish to be. I can't undo things now. I never expected to be in any kind of relationship again. I also don't owe any apologies for my life. I thought I was done explaining things about myself. Opening up again is not easy so I'll tell you what, I'll answer your questions IF you really want to know the answers. But if you don't, then we need to drop this and go back to superficial fun between us. You can't unknow things once you know them. You may not like the answers. And I'll take that journey with you whenever you are ready."

Keanu studied her. He was not used to this at all. Someone with dark secrets, and a past. Things they also wanted to forget. Pain, regret, loss. He also knew those things. And like her, he didn't talk about them. Of course, no one asked him about them either. He considered what she said carefully. The only woman he had ever loved and his child were gone. One lost to darkness and the other never lived long enough to find the light. He had no idea what it was to raise a child or several. He hadn't gotten that blessing. Keanu had stopped thinking along those lines long ago. His life was his own. His faults and mistakes were public knowledge. His hell ride, his sadness, his losses, and his family were all public. Anyone with a computer could read about all those things. Those were basic facts. The fact that he may or may not possibly be married was a public topic. His dates, his hookups, and his friends were out there. Nothing was really private. What was there to know that he could tell her about himself that she couldn't google for himself? Things he said thirty years ago are still on record, in magazines, and teen beat posters. And here this beautiful woman sat in front of him, having the one thing he wasn't allowed in life. Secrets. Did he want to take that from her?

"Abigale, I need time to think about what you've told me. I want to scream yes, but I also don't know if that's the right thing. I don't get privacy, and I don't want to take yours away just because I am curious. That isn't fair. For now, I'd really like to have breakfast with you, then maybe we can go walking and you can show me your town. If you still want to."

Abigale smiled. Whatever else this man says or does, this moment, this was the one where she fell a little bit in love with him. Really in love with him. In that moment, he was just Keanu and he had given her himself. "Do you know how amazing you are? Keanu? Do you?"

Keanu blushed a little then. "So breakfast it is!" And he smiled. He allowed himself to smile, and feel it in places he had not in a very long time.

As if on cue, the doorbell rang. Abigale rose to answer, "Speaking of Breakfast." She opened the door and took their order, thanking the driver as he handed her the bags. She could already smell the sweet aromas of breakfast. Her stomach was already growling.

The salted caramel and apple butter mixed together were delightful. They weren't New Orleans french but it wasn't bad. After the calorie burn they had been engaging in some sugar and carbs were absolutely what her body was craving.

"That smells sinfully delicious. What is it?" Keanu was in the mood for sweet this morning.

"That is a Paulette Crepe. Called Le Crisp. It's delicious." She handed him a foil-wrapped triangle. It was hot. Abigale already had hers open and was savoring that first bite. She loved watching people try new things. She was waiting for that reaction. She loved the reaction when it came to food.

Keanu took his first bit, that really was delicious. The apples had just enough crisp and texture and mixed with the butter and caramel, this was good. It was really good. "I'll admit, this is nice."

Abigale nodded and they enjoyed a comfortable breakfast, with the tension broken for the moment. It was a lazy morning. She put on the kettle for some tea and went about straightening her kitchen. Caelan could cook, but her boys weren't the best at cleaning up their mess. After doing a few dishes and putting things back in order, she was ready to make her tea and restart her day. She needed the mundane chores to help her gather her thoughts. She did not have many secrets. There was a past, but it was past. She had never thought of it as a secret. It wasn't a matter of not wanting him to know, it was a matter of it wasn't reflective of who she was. She had her job, and she had her life. The two had always been very separate and compartmentalized.

Keanu was watching her, this was becoming his habit. If she stirred her tea any longer he might begin to wonder what kind of brew she was making. "Abi, where did you go? I lost you there for a bit."

His words jarred her out of her trail of thought. "Sorry, I was just," Abigale carried her cup to the table and sat, "I never saw my life as a secret. It isn't private, and it's not something I don't want you to know. And at the same time, my story isn't easy to tell. I think for me it is more that it isn't a reflection of who I am and is just a story of what I did. I don't want you to think there is something you shouldn't know. I also know you, like others, are not going to want to hear it. It's sad and unhealthy. It's also my journey here. I also don't want our time spoiled with downer stories about abuse and pain. Morbid things. I am not sure how you feel about that."

Keanu hadn't thought of that. His life was filled with tragedy. "I'm not sure how I feel. I do have things I want to know. I am curious about Jackman, and tied up?" His brows arched as he said the last.

"Well s**t, okay, the hard questions, huh?" She gritted her teeth. This was the hardest of all of them. "Okay, I have to give you context to answer this one. And you're also not going to like the beginning. This is a whiskey question. And it's a night question. This is one of those answers that you give, after dark, when you're drinking and having a conversation about the world. Timing is the key to this and I'll answer you, but not now. Is that fair?"

"I'll hold you to that." He would because now he needed to know. "So kids, you have kids?"

"I do, I have a few of them. They are older, and out of the house, some with kids of their own. You met the youngest, and the others may pop in. They do surprise me from time to time." Abigale wondered if that would be the dealbreaker. Kids absolutely killed the fantasy of the fun, single, s*x goddess image. Maybe he would surprise her.

"We can take that as it comes. I'm over the initial shock and think I'll live." He was a bit curious about her kids, They were different but in a good way. He was also looking forward to hearing their conversations. It seemed like they were very grounded.

"I accept that. I know kids are a lot to take in. It doesn't fit the s*x goddess you are fantasizing about...." She let that thought trail off.

"I think it makes you more. I find bringing life into the world sexy. I think it gives you substance." He was looking forward to meeting her kids. "Abi, I'm jumping in with both feet. I want to be here, with you, right now. This feels right. I am not going anywhere." He reached across the table and took her hand. "I want to explore your world. I'm fed, I want a shower, and then I'm open to the possibilities of that whiskey conversation." With that being said, he got up and walked around the table to her, pulled her into his arms, and kissed her deeply, tasting the sweet caramel still lingering on her lips with a hint of lavender. He felt her melt into his body. "I want you."

"Before or after your shower?" Her voice was almost a breathless whisper.

"Before," Keanu pulled her up into his arms and carried her back into the bedroom."Right now, I want to take my time."

Abigale said the only thing she could, "Okay then" and she let herself fall a little bit more as he lowered her onto the bed.