My Secret Admirer Is My Bully

chapter 5

Rose

Back at school for a few weeks, it again went all quiet, Leo and his gang just always being there as if they are following me. Maybe I just never noticed them around me but now I have I can’t un-notice them. My dad was missing for two weeks which was fine by me. I managed to heal, go to school, church and work at the bookstore. My manager Grey was great and gave me easy jobs to do.

After a month had passed, I skipped school again for two days and went back to the hospital to get my cast removed, I had to learn exercises to help my arm not freeze and get stuck in position.

The second day skipping school, I just went around our town. Walking and looking around, taking in the beauty of the sky, the grass, having a warm day with sun on my face, the breeze blowing around me. It was chilly, but I didn’t care. Today was about me.

A lot of people ignored me, or if they see me just turned their noses up at me looking at me with disgust. I’m sure me skipping school will be back to my dad in no time. a new rumour in the making. Today I didn’t have the energy to care about them.

It was such a beautiful day, and I was going to enjoy it. Making my way to the park, I just sat and watched the swans in the lake, all the ducks in and out, just lost in my thoughts. No one could take this away from me.

A few years later.

Monday soon came around. My alarm woke me quickly. I shut it off hoping I had not woken up my dad, hoping and praying he is passed out drunk.

Getting ready in silence is the hardest thing I ever had to learn, like when you try to make a midnight snack, and everything is so loud or sneaking in from sneaking out and all the floorboards are creaking suddenly.

I’ve heard all the stories from school and now college, though older some are still under strict curfews.

Making my way down the stairs, making sure not to step on the creaking boards, I grabbed an apple and banana from the fruit basket sneaking out the front door. I had saved up some money and started to buy some fruit, making sure I had something to eat. My dad hates fruit so it stayed there not being eaten by him.

I never see my dad on the way down, so he is either out still, or he has passed out in his bed. Today is looking up for me, most mornings before I leave, I will see him on the sofa drunk as a skunk. I will always get a good tongue bashing, berating me, putting me down with nasty words. Some days, depending on what drink is in his hand, a fist would come flying at me. It started in school, after he broke my arm, he started being there in the mornings, waiting.

I just still can’t believe I made it to college, how I have suffered his beatings this long. He raised me from a year old, my real dad passed away long before I was born. Mum said she would stay a single parent as trying to work as a nurse and care for a child was a juggle, my dad was the love of her life, but when she met Alan she fell in love, they used to tell me it was love at first sight for both.

When I was 10 mum was taken out by a drunk driver, she had no chance as the drunk driver was driving a lorry. It was head on and completely crushed her car. No one would walk away from it.

My dad at first grieved with me, but 6 months in he started to drink. It was ironic that the thing that took the love of his life he started to do, I think he was drinking in the 6 months of grieving with me, but he hid it well.

He did try to hide it at first, but then by the time I turned 11 there was no more hiding it, he was the town drunk. I’ve heard the rumours of him mixing drugs with his drink.

I wish I could leave the house now I’m in college. I just didn’t get into the one further away, I had to go to the one in my town. All the money I got from my part-time job was always used to pay for things, such as food, wash gear, school supplies and if I had enough some clothes when needed.

The other problem was the bullies. Leo and his gang all came to the same college as me. He was the bad boy at school now college same as his gang. Everyone stayed out of his way unless the girls caught his eye and he was interested, being a notch on his bed post, he doesn’t sleep with the same girl twice, some girls honestly believed they could change him, help him be better. This made me smile every time I heard it, it would never happen. No one noticed me laugh or smile at myself as I suddenly became the wall flower in college never bringing attention to myself.

I kept applying to other colleges for a transfer, never giving up hope I can escape this town. Hopefully if that fails plan b, I could move as soon as I pass my exams, get a job far away. I was going to do the homeless thing till I got on my feet, but all the colleges needed an address to send me things. This stopped me from getting into the others so I had to just suffer at home, going to the town college. I am not giving up hope using the college computers to look for somewhere I could rent out. Give them the rent money in the second month, just someone to take a chance on me.

It was the first day back at college after a long weekend. I hated bank holidays, but this time I had the church to go to and hide. Be with God, have peace.

Today someone must have been listening to my prayers as the day went smoothly. Lunch was good, I had paid using the money from my part time job. When the day ended, I raced over to my afternoon job in the bookstore, I loved it here as none of my old school or the local bad boy with his gang would never come in here. I also love getting discounts on books and bless my manager, he has been getting me some medical books to help with my studies. When he found out I was going to college and staying at work he was overjoyed, Grey has become sort of a father figure to me, helping with different things and gives great advice when I needed it.

I was still the outcast at college, some of the girls in my classes are from school, they only came here and picked this as they thought they would get an easy ride, get to wear a sexy uniform for their boyfriends and make money. Some picked it just to be near Leo and his gang.

A few of the girls were the popular ones in school or as I call them the bed posts, they are the ones who slept with Leo and then he wouldn’t touch them again, so they went to his brothers to sleep with them and make him jealous.

My manager Grey asked if I could stay on till close tonight as Stacey has phoned in sick again, I felt sorry for her as she was a single mum and young, her son has been getting very ill lately. Before I could answer Grey said he would pay me double for staying.

Itold him I’m happy to stay without double pay, I love my job being a bookworm helps and free coffee what girl would argue. Plus, I will need all the coffee as it is going to be late one, shutting up shop at 8pm and then home to study.