That Muse.. and Destiny

The Nagging Whisper

Afternoon was usually very hot and while others quenched the dryness of the heat with a drink at the nearby cafes, Mei preferred to pass the time at the library. It was her final year in college and exams were getting close, but her frequent visits to the library were for also another reason; a newfound curiousity that preoccupied her almost all day.

“It’s about time, Mei.” Called, the librarian. “Don’t let me say that again, otherwise you’d be shut up here till Monday.”

Mei sighed; it was evening now. How had the time rushed by so fast? She’d been buried in books and had been watching her laptop screen so diligently that she hardly noticed.

“I’m sorry you had to remind me again, Mrs Huān.” Mei Li said as she rushed to pack her things. How many times had she made this apology? She sighed. Even she didn’t understand herself these days.

“I’ll definitely be hearing that again next week,” Mrs. Huān remarked with a knowing smile. She leaned over the mahogany counter. “I bet it’s not a school project you’re working on else you’d be here with a couple of friends. What’s driving you so curious again, young lady?”

“Something’s been nagging at me; I’m almost ashamed to share. But it’s…” Mei paused, slowly putting a book back in its shelf. “I’ll tell you soon, Mrs Huān’s.” She said after a moment. “I know I can share secrets with you.”

“Do look after yourself, Mei. Weekends are for resting,” Mrs. Huān advised, though her own curiosity was clearly piqued.

“And you too Mrs Huān. See you!” Mei piped as she trudged out the door, still easing her notebooks into her bag. She’d wait awhile before telling the warm librarian what preoccupied her thoughts and drove her to the library almost everyday. She had to; she didn’t even yet understand what it was all about or why it was happening. It’s true that she was naturally curious, but why this?

Mrs Huān seemed to listen when no one else did and Mei couldn’t wait to share this with her. But after her parents reacted the way they did, she had to calculate to who and how she shared her thoughts.

As she walked on, she eased the thoughts off her mind. The pathway was lined with soft-scenting flowers which filled the air with their pleasant fragrance. She loved the scenery from here; it was always soothing.

Yueyang International was one of the most prestigious colleges in China. It was nestled in a serene environment of banyan trees and beautifully conserved greenery. It was one of those institutions where learning was seamless, because it had facilities for everything educational-wise. The library was one of Mei’s favourite things about her college. She’d spent at least three days every week at the library for the past three years, assimilating one course content or the other. Mei had been one of the most studious students in her department, occupying the overall top scholar rank. She was on track to graduate with high-level honors, something her parents expected as a baseline for the Li family legacy. She drifted off in thought again..

It seemed she’d been working hard to meet up with her parent’s expectations and demands ever since she could remember. She could complain, but the situation wasn’t unfair. After all her parent’s priorities also seemed to revolve around meeting the family needs to the highest of standards. Yes, her parents allowed her the privileges of expressing her artistic and adventurous self, but now her father especially, stood against her desire to elope- only temporarily- to Africa after college. Nevertheless, a determination growing within her to do so even though her parents disagreed.

…

At the Li estate, Mrs. Li checked the dongpo pork in the oven. Friday nights were special; the family held a tradition of sharing an elaborate supper to mark the end of the week.

Mrs Li had rarely been worried about Mei staying out late on a school night, she knew her daughter to be studious. She spent most of the time at the library, and other times she’d be with friends at some nearby café. Mei was a young woman now; she would be turning 21 soon and deserved a level of independence. But nowadays Mrs Li had worries, not just about her daughter’s late nights, but Mei’s recent behaviour had become quite troubling to her. She knew what held her back at school most of the time and it made her uncomfortable. Much more ever since Mei started putting up a careful and reserved attitude at home. He daughter was usually cheerful and keenly spent time with others; she was always ready to share whenever she had a newfound interest or any unusual experience. Mei was something special. Beautiful on the outside and so much so within; her gracious nature towards others was heartwarming. She was her Xiǎo niǎo -Little Bird- and they were both nothing short of best friends.

Now though, there seemed to be a noticeable distance; she was still her cheerful self, but Mrs Li observed how she carefully related these days. Her heart ached. She wasn’t just worried, she also felt a little bit of hurt.

Mrs Li sighed. The roast pork in the oven would be ready by now.

The door smoothly opened as Mrs Li was taking out the meat from the oven. Mei walked into the kitchen, smiling softly as she greeted her mum.

“Mei, you’re late again. I was going to call you.” Said Mrs Li.

“I stayed awhile at the lake after leaving the library.” Mei responded. “’Twas easing as always. Supper smells good, I’ll go wash up.”

Mrs Li watched her daughter go. “Alright dear, come down soon.” She said.

Steps from behind her signaled her husband’s approach. Hugging Mrs Li from behind, he kissed her cheek and asked who she had been talking to.

“Mei just got back.” She answered.

There was a worried look on her face and Mr Li said knew exactly what it was about. “It’s only a phase, my dear. This isn’t the first time we’ll see her piped about something. It’ll pass.” He tried to assure her.

But even as he said so, he was only masking his own concern. He knew this was not the same with previous times.