That Muse.. and Destiny

The Resolve

Mr. Li checked his watch. It was past ten, and his daughter still hadn't returned. He was about to call her when the front door swung open and Mei stepped inside, her face flushed. Her mum rose from the sofa as she entered into the sitting room.

“I’m sorry I'm late. Anxi had a little too much to drink and I had to help her get home.”

Mr Li help up a hand, cutting her off. “We've told you to keep your distance from that lady. You disobey me, and then you carelessly return late at night.”

Then he said in a steel tone, “You take your freedom for granted, Mei,”

“Freedom??” Mei retorted unexpectedly. “What freedom, bāba? You and mum have mapped out my life and I can't live outside of your expectations. You don't even know what—” She stopped short.

“Know what, Mei?” Her mum asked, every fibre of her being wanting her daughter to finish her statement.

Mei sighed softly, “You don’t know what makes my heart sing.”

“Heart songs are not what life is about.” Mr Li rebuked.

“But I have a destiny bāba.. I want to know what it is.” She was almost in tears. “Around you, I have no freedom to find it.”

Mrs Li's heart broke at the words. “Mei..”

“No more of this.” Mr Li commanded. “Go up to your room and reflect on the worry you’ve caused us. Make sure you resolve to never let this happen again.”

Mei walked out of the room, fighting back tears that felt heart deep. Once inside her room, she locked the door and stepped onto the balcony, the tears rolling down her cheeks. Looking up at the starry sky she uttered a silent prayer. She didn't know if that would do any good, but in that moment she felt that was all she could do.

She closed her eyes and lifted her face, feeling the night's air drying her tears.

When her eyes opened, they were steady, fixed on the horizon. She had made her resolve; she would follow wherever destiny led.

…

His eyes snapped open and he sat up abruptly.

‘What was out there?’ The thought filled his mind.

There was no answer, but the subtle tug he used to feel almost gripped his heart now, and he seemed to perceive the voice all too clearly; ‘I am coming’.

…

Mrs Huān was preparing to leave for the day when Mei quietly walked into the library office. One look into the young lady's eyes and she know she would do all she could to lighten whatever burden was weighing her down.

“Sit down.” Mrs Huān said gently. She would patiently wait for Mei to speak.

Mei was looking out the office window; the horizon had always exerted a strange pull on her. She had spent all day wrestling with the thought of whether to speak with Mrs Huān or not. But the loneliness had finally become too much to bear.

“Remember when I said I'll tell you what’s been bothering me?” She said, still gazing out the window.

Mrs Huān nodded.

“I have this burning desire to explore Africa, but my father forbids it. He forbids anything that's not in his careful plan for my life. And my mum? Her loyalty to him outweighs her concern for me. I'm constantly reminded that I must focus on honouring the family name.”

Mrs Huān didn't know what to say. She knew Mei was a free spirit— she never missed excursion trips and had traveled to a few places because of her love for arts despite being a science student. What would she tell Mei if she was her daughter?

“Why Africa, Mei?’

”I don't know. It feels like there's something out there calling for me to seek it out.” Mei replied. “I can't say where exactly, but based on my research I'd love to begin from Ghana or Nigeria.”

“Ghana! Nigeria!” Mrs Huān was taken aback by the specificity. “You've delved quite deeply on this Mei!” She looked into Mei's eyes and saw a sure determination to do what was in her heart.

“I’ve always done what they wanted,” Mei said. “But now, I believe I must go. One trip wouldn't hurt anyone, and I would certainly come back”.

Mrs Huān was genuinely concerned. She wasn't talking about a trip to France or to some American state. To her, Africa felt like a vast, unknown land where Mei would be lost.

Mei sighed. Mrs Huān was a kind listener, but what had she expected by coming to her. No one would understand. They took her for a child and had no idea what was going on within her heart.

“Your parents have watched you grow into a talented and adventuresome young woman.” Mrs Huān said carefully. “You've won awards and made them proud over and over again. Whatever their stand is it's only because they do care about you, Mei. You shouldn't simply dismiss their will in anger. Take the time to approach them respectfully..”

“I already did. Nothing changed.” Mei cut in.

“Do it again.” Mrs. Huān urged. “If this is truly destiny as you say, then tread patiently even in your determination.”

The words resonated with wisdom. But Mei had almost given up on patience with her parents.

A gentle hand rested on her shoulder. “A door would open in time. Don't be in too much of a hurry.” Mrs Huān said.

Mei nodded lightly and blew out a breath. She felt a sense of relief just from being heard.

“Now, tell me more about this muse of yours.” Mrs Huān was greatly interested.

Mei smiled her pretty smile. “Are you sure? I could give you an earful”.

Mrs Huān knew she was indeed in for an earful from a delighted Mei, but her curiosity had taken hold already.

“Let me pack my things and we'll talk on the way.” She said.

As they walked out of the office and down the school path, Mei spilled her thoughts to Mrs Huān, relishing the satisfaction of speaking with someone who was genuinely interested in hearing her out.

“I have nothing spectacular to say really.” Mei said with a light laugh. “I’m simply drawn there for reasons that are obvious and some I’m still trying to figure out. But if you haven’t given Africa any thought at all, I would say It really is a place that's underrated and misunderstood by the average Chinese. Contrary to what we think, its history, culture and people are one of a kind. It’s rich with natural resources and wildlife that rivals that of any other continent.”

She continued, “Africa isn't a poor man's land at all, the geography is enough to pull me there. What’s more, its cultural diversity is mind-blowing; it’s the literal melting pot, believe me.”

Mei plucked a flower as they went on. “But all that is just surface talk.” She said, her voice dropping to a more serious tone. “It’s really about something deeper than the soil. More like there’s something beyond the research and old stories. Something I have to discover for myself.” She paused. “Or maybe... someone.”