The Alpha's Pursuit

Chapter 2 - Parker P.O.V.

The remainder of the summer mirrored our first date—a whirlwind of romance filled with passionate kisses, whispered intimate words, and our first experience of making love. Well, my first time having s*x at least.

The term may sound corny—"making love"—but I couldn't describe the slow and sensual manner in which he took my virginity any other way. All the qualities I had envisioned in a potential husband, Nick embodied. Or so I thought.

Possessing the essence of magnificence, I placed him on a pedestal of perfection. In equal admiration, he fixed his gaze on me. Another childhood dream. I wanted to believe it was admiration and not obsession. However, the cliché "ignorance is bliss" truly deserved its overuse.

Our love-filled three-month affair ended abruptly when the authentic Nick emerged one day. The illusion I had of him shattered, leaving me stunned and disoriented. The mask he wore slipped away and never returned. Once he revealed his true nature, it removed any reason to remain hidden behind it.

My busy schedule made it harder to find time together. Classes and a full-time job limited my availability. Tension rose between us, and each day, I begged him to understand the temporary situation we found ourselves in. School wouldn't last forever.

In a few short years, we could spend so much more time together, but I had to do this, for us, for our future, for MY future. He always said he wanted all my dreams to come true. What changed? Was it always a lie?

It would be an understatement to say this irritated him. After three weeks, the volatile nature of our new dynamic simmered beneath the surface.

Flinching became an automatic response whenever he raised his voice, and shaking whenever he approached me turned into an uncontrollable reaction. Dark circles formed under my eyes, and I lost about ten pounds from the stress.

Several weeks of this situation affected me dramatically. Both of us became unrecognizable. Physically diminished, I became a shell of my former self, while he transformed into something darker and primal–-a pod person from "Invasion of the Body Snatchers."

He began using painful and selfish acts of intimacy to express his anger and mark his territory on my body.

I felt as if I had been hit by whiplash, and my head spun from this sudden shift. Yet, I refused to accept it.

I couldn’t believe this was my Nick; I held onto hope for the return of the person I knew him to be.

My neck was adorned with a necklace of bruises forged with forceful hickeys and stinging bites. Cover-up makeup didn’t hide them well.

The emotion overflowed from him, bordering on rage, as he nipped and sucked at my tender flesh. Tears pricked my eyes, confused with his new approach to s*x. No gentleness or love. Hostility laced with his hunger for my body was the new normal.

The last time we engaged in s*x, his thrusts grew more volatile from our previous encounters. No sensuous movements and body worshipping, but rough and battering, plunging into me with cruelty. Nick’s choice of punishment for disobeying him, I assumed.

My pleasure played no factor, only his own. Cumming inside me, he rolled off and wasted no time dressing before he stormed out of my room.

We never went to his place, which had only recently struck me as odd when our connection turned sour. When I heard my apartment door slam shut, I jumped into a scorching hot shower.

Tears streamed down my face, merging with the water cascading from the showerhead. The salty droplets swirled around the drain like a miniature hurricane. I gasped when I saw a hint of pink mixed with the water. This time, he had made me bleed.

My curled-up body lay on the tiled floor, staring absently at a circle of water swirling down the drain with a gurgling sound. A twinge of pain shot through me when I shifted, and the sobbing began anew.

Bawling turned into hiccups as I grabbed my loofah. I scrubbed my skin until it bled more, wincing in pain. The shame from our last encounter needed to be erased.

The only bright spot in my recent turmoil was the lie I told him. Lying to the man you loved should feel wrong, but I realized doing so actually spared me from a much worse outcome.

Things might have escalated if I had chosen to tell the truth or complied with his outrageous request. He never wanted to use birth control, and I had promised to stop taking the pill.

It's strange, I know. In truth, the doctor implanted an IUD two years before I met Nick. During the love bombing phase of our relationship, I thought about having it removed for him.

But something compelled me not to… and I’m so glad that I listened.

***

“Let’s do this, Parker. Cut the cord. Clean break. Over and done." I encouraged myself to break up with Nick as I stared into the mirror, watching my determination waver in my expression. After a few more cheerleader shouts at my reflection, fierce strength replaced my faltering confidence. I grunted in satisfaction.

Nick insisted I meet him for lunch. His whiny voice was tinged with underlying malice, which seeped into me through the earpiece.

Once seated at a table in the diner, sweet words flowed easily from his perfect lips. Lips, I no longer had the desire to kiss. Sitting in the middle of the restaurant I felt exposed, but also safe from his wrath. A very public space.

“I’m so sorry, honey. I don’t know what got into me,” he sighed. His warm breath tickled my ears. “I’m afraid of losing you, and I behaved so foolishly. Let’s eat, talk about this, and try to start fresh.” As expected, he sat on the same side of the table to be as close to me as possible.

The truce didn’t last long. Halfway through our meal, the conversation shifted back to my schedule.

He made it painfully clear I should consider him as my only priority and slammed his fist down onto the table when I didn’t agree. The dishes rattled as the air around us vibrated with his booming demand for my compliance.

Looking at him in shock, as if he had sprouted two heads, my frustration began to boil over.

“You do not own me, Nicholas! We have discussed this: college is important, and work is necessary. These things will not change,” I spat.

Whenever I used his given name, it infuriated him because he knew I was upset with him. Which didn’t happen often as he scared me.

The usual response to my use of Nicholas was a growl. One thing I grew to despise was the growling. The guttural groan that used to signify his arousal turned me on, but now it indicated his wrath, which also seemed to make him hard and I hated it. He got off on the idea of a possible impending punishment.

I wondered if he envisioned himself in some strange L.A.R.P. roleplay. Roaring like an animal. Growling like a wolf. Absurd.

"Mind your tone, Pet. You won’t like what happens next. I’m not discussing this again. You will either quit your job or school, and that is FINAL!” he shouted.

Two high schoolers were now on their feet, tense and alert. Many others also paid attention, but appeared to be looking for their popcorn while their hungry eyes greedily devoured the scene, unblinking. Super helpful.

“You know what!? f**k ALL THE WAY OFF, NICHOLAS! I thought I needed to be done after what you put me through last night. This confirms it. We are over. Never, and I mean NEVER, contact me again!”

God, I better be careful before I quote a Taylor Swift song.

As I spun on my heels to storm out of the café, victory thrummed through my veins. My arms jerked backward before I could pass our table, pulling the rest of me along with them. His hands clutched my elbows tightly, yanking me back against his chest.

"Let f*****g go of me!" I shouted, but he narrowed his eyes at me. The growling didn’t scare me, but what he was doing now sent chills down my spine.

My attempt to escape him failed, and panic surged as my eyes darted around the café, searching for help or a way out.

Red finger marks formed on my arms from his grip, all because I had refused his demand for more of my time. My lips trembled, and I cringed in abject terror of what might come next.

The two boys hustled over and stared him down, insisting he let me go. Although Nicholas towered over them, he eventually backed down.

I was stunned, my jaw dropping in shock. This unfamiliar side of him, which I had only unveiled itself in recent weeks, made me realize he would not be walking away, leaving me, or letting me go. The celebratory joy was now replaced with something cold and dark. Fear.

The crowded public restaurant and a couple of local high school students had given me the courage to break up with him. Standing in view of onlookers, I had hoped he would control himself; however, I was terrified when he did. A creeping sensation of distrust crawled up my spine as paranoia settled into my bones.

Shouldn’t I be more concerned about his lack of engagement?

He was always quick-tempered, so this silence hung over me in an ominous fog. It was what I thought I wanted, yet it scared me more. It was like when the woods fell silent because a predator had entered, lurking and waiting to pounce on its prey.

He released me so suddenly that I stumbled into one of the boys. His face twisted in disgust, but his cold blue piercing eyes locked onto mine. Fury burned in his once captivating gaze.

Gasping for breath as his blue eyes nearly turned black, he took another menacing step closer to me. The unspoken threat in his gaze pierced me while his massive frame trembled with fury.

A shiver ran through me as he stormed off, leaving me to deal with the bill. Unbelievable! I almost laughed out loud at this insane thought. If I never saw him again, paying for lunch would be the smallest price I would have had to pay.

END OF FLASHBACK

To this day, I regret allowing Nick to be my first. In an effort to reclaim my strength, I sought counseling, which equipped me with tools to help silence my self-shaming thoughts—at least for the day. However, by the next morning, those self-deprecating thoughts often returned to haunt me.

Ultimately, I ended things as quickly as I could before he became more violent. Emitting a dark vibe, I purged the toxic relationship, narrowly escaping a brutal future.

As I puttered around my home this morning, a wave of relief washed over me years later. Nick never acted on his unspoken threat, and I hadn’t seen him since.

The absence of chaos in my life suited me well. However, I would soon discover that my life was about to spiral into epic proportions.

During my first year of school, I was constantly on edge, fearing every noise and lingering shadow.

The feeling of being watched never faded, but almost four years later, nothing ever came of it. I concluded that the trauma he caused must be the source of these irrational fears I experienced.

My current routine consisted of two significant events: working and hiding out in my modest abode, Monday through Friday. Living alone made my humdrum life more monotonous.

Embracing solitude offered me a deep sense of peace, surrounding me like a soft blanket. I learned to find value in the stillness, welcoming the boredom and loneliness as essential parts of my journey, especially after my shitshow of a relationship.

As I swung my legs over the side of the mattress, my toes stretched and curled into the soft carpet.

“Come on, Parker! Important day! Get moving, woman!” I shouted my rallying cry to motivate myself out of bed.