The Ignored Wolf

Pyscho-2

Charlie

I pull back almost all the way, and she lets out a disappointed whimper, only to scream when I slam back into her. "Ahhh, yes! Harder! Yes yes right there. Oh my god I miss this. Don’t stop. Please, please, I’m going to come—"

Suddenly, Louise’s face pops into my mind. My brain short-circuits. I have no idea why I’m thinking of her now. Maybe it’s the memory from earlier today. Seeing her in my brother's arms, her hair a mess, her breath coming in those short, needy gasps.

It was a side of her I’d never seen. We’ve known each other for years, so why did I never notice how hot she could be? I shake my head, trying to shake off the thought.

"What’s wrong, Charlie?" Cassandra asks.

"Nothing," I say, leaning down to kiss her as I keep moving.

She comes quickly, her walls clenching around me as she shudders. The sensation is too much. I pull out at the last second, shooting onto her belly. She smiles up at me, wiping herself clean with a tissue. "Told you I am on pills. Next time, I want you to come inside me," she suggests.

I nod, but she notices I’m somewhere else. "Hey. What are you thinking about?" she asks suspiciously. "You never space out during sex."

I am not going to tell her I was imagining Louise under me. She’d claw my eyes out. So I lie, "I was just wondering why are you marrying Matthew, anyway?"

Cassandra relaxes. "My father wants this alliance. Our pack is shrinking. We've lost too many warriors. We need a strong union. Besides, Matthew is a doctor. He can look after my mother."

"What’s wrong with your mother?"I ask.

"Deals with witches always have a price," she sighs. "She traded a kidney for the wolfsbane. She’s been sickly ever since."

"That’s insane," I say. I knew Luna Kelly managed to make Louise’s wolf suppressed to ensure Cassandra got all the attention, but I didn't know she sacrificed a literal organ for it.

"Mum loves me in her own way," Cassandra says softly. "I want to pay her back for that."

I nod. Silence settles over us. "I still think it’s unfair to Louise," I say.

"Nothing is fair, Charlie. We're wolves. Survival of the fittest." Cassandra grabs my jaw and kisses me.

"But she’ll never know who her fated mate is," I say. "Most wolves spend their whole lives waiting for that. Isn't that a little cruel?"

"Stop playing the saint, Charlie," Cassandra scoffs. "You're getting sentimental. Who cares about Louise's mate? Do you want her to find him and leave you?"

I admit it. "I don't."

"That’s it then. You know she loves you, you know she’ll do anything for you, and you enjoy it. You enjoy being her world. You know the second she finds a mate, she walks away. You will then forever lose your favorite listener."

I open my mouth to argue, but I have nothing.

"Anyway," Cassandra pokes my chest. "Can't you just find a new listener? I hate Louise."

"And who would that be? You?" I ask sarcastically. "Whenever we fight, you just scream at me to shut up."

"Find anyone but her," she grumbles. "Or we could just stop fighting."

I don't answer. She knows as well as I do that we’re incapable of not fighting.

"Charlie," she says suddenly.

"Yeah?"

"Keep an eye on her."

I turn to look at her. "What do you mean?"

Cassandra props herself up. "Someone saw her leave with Elias. You need to make sure she doesn't do anything stupid."

"She won't," I say, trying to sound certain.

"How do you know?" Cassandra frowns. "What if she gets strong enough to come after me and my mother?"

"Why weren't you worried about this before?"

"Because she was weak. She’s been bullied her whole life. She doesn't have the spine to fight back. Even if she knew the truth, she wouldn't have the guts to retaliate." She pauses, her voice turning uneasy. "But now she’s too close to Elias. If he finds out and tries to help her..."

"He won't help her," I say irritably.

"She left with him. She may end up in his bed and…"Cassandra points out the last thing I want to hear.

"So what?"I interrupt her sharply. "It will be a one-night stand. Nothing more."

"How do you know?"

"Elias doesn’t do relationships after he was stabbed by that goddamned rogue. "I say in irritation. "Louise wants attention and Elias won't turn down an easy lay. That’s all it is."

Cassandra stares at me. "Are you jealous?"

"No." I deny it instantly. Too fast. Even I can hear the hollow ring in my voice.

Cassandra raises an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Of course." I tell her as I hold her gaze. "It has nothing to do with Louise. I just hate Elias touching my things. Anything."

"Fine," she says.

"Why do you care so much? Because Elias didn't want you, but he wants her?"

Cassandra’s face falls. I’ve seen this look before. It's what happens whenever someone hits a nerve. "You—" she sits up, her chest heaving. "For your information, I dated him three times! I was the one who dumped him!"

"Then why do you care who he’s with?"

"I don't care!"

"You do." I stare into her eyes. "Your voice changes every time you mention him. You can't even look him in the eye. You think I don't notice?"

Cassandra glares at me, her breathing ragged. Then she grabs a pillow and slams it into my face. "Bastard!"

I don't move. The pillow doesn't hurt, but her reaction makes me want to laugh. I smirk. "I like you much better when you're throwing a tantrum than when you're faking tears."

She turns even redder, jumps out of bed, and starts throwing on her clothes. She storms toward the door and looks back one last time. "You’d better keep an eye on Louise," she snaps. "Keep her out of my way."

The door slams shut.

I lie there, staring at the ceiling in the silence.

The idea of Louise and Elias together makes me feel sick. Not because I care about Louise. Well, I do, but not like that. It’s about Elias. My half-brother. My shadow. The one who was always stronger, always more respected, always taking what should have been mine. It started with my father’s praise. Then it was the pack’s loyalty. Then it was Cassandra, the woman I wanted. She went out with him the moment he snapped his fingers. Even though he didn't want her in the end, that was almost worse. He threw away what I craved.

And now? Now he gets Louise's loyalty? The girl who was always on call for me, who tolerated everything for me. She belongs to him now?

I sit up, rubbing my face.

No. I won't let it happen. Louise is mine. My follower. My safety net. I need to get her away from him and back where she belongs.

I pick up my phone and call her again. Still nothing. I’m pacing now, so I leave a voicemail. I start apologizing—it’s what I’m best at. I say all the right things to get her sympathy, to make her forgive me. It always works. I wait. Half an hour passes, and there’s still no reply. I hurl the phone across the room in a fit of rage.

Fine. Clearly, she’s hiding from me. I stare darkly at the phone. If she refuses to communicate, I’ll just have to force her back.

I pick up a small knife from the desk and walk into the bathroom. I sit in the tub, turn on the faucet, and make a clean, shallow slice across my wrist. The blood begins to flow, staining the water.

Then, I call my mum. She picks up on the second ring, her voice already sharpened into a lecture.

"Honestly, Charlie, it’s one in the morning. You’re no longer a child. You should think about others. People of our standing do not make social calls at this hour. Anyway, what happened? I hope you didn’t make a spectacle of yourself at Cassandra’s coronation. I won’t have the neighbors whispering about our family's lack of manners."

"I’m done, Mom," I say, my voice flat and hollow. "I don't want to live anymore."

There’s a sharp intake of breath, then the sound of rustling sheets. "Wait… Charlie? Zane! Zane, wake up! It’s our son. Charlie, listen to me. No matter what happened today, we will fix it. We always fix things. Just tell Mother where you are right now…"

I end the call without answering. I don't need to give her directions, tired of the game she plays. She pretends to be a clueless parent, thinking I am too stupid to notice the GPS tracker she secretly installed in my phone.

She isn't just worried about her son. She’s worried about her favorite possession. Ever since Elias broke out of the cage she spent years building for him, she has turned into a clinical, suffocating control freak. He was the one that got away, like a masterpiece that refused to stay in the gallery. Now, she’s determined to make sure her second act never even sees the exit.

I close my eyes, the steam from the bath clinging to my skin. Sometimes, I actually envy him. I hate Elias for a thousand reasons. For his strength, for the way he looks at me with pity, but mostly, I envy his courage. He had the balls to drop the Alpha title like it was a piece of trash and go find a life that actually belonged to him. I’ll never be that brave. I’m the good son. The one who stays. The one who is trapped in a crown that feels more and more like a collar every day.

I lean back, watching the crimson clouds bloom in the warm water, spiraling out from my wrist like delicate silk. It’s a performance to pull Louise back to me so I can feel like I still own something. But as the red swirls, a small, dark part of me wonders what would happen if I die.

I hope they get here before it gets cold. I’d hate to catch a chill.