THE STORM

6. Bria

The next morning, I wake up I'm soar all over. I can already see the hand marks and, the bruising all over me, but I don't have time to care. I have school I can't miss. I go into the bathroom, but before I use the potty. I look into the mirror. I don’t look like myself anymore. My deep blue eyes hold so much sadness and, pain behind them. I swipe the tears away quickly. Then set on the toilet to do my business, when I wipe, I see blood on the toilet paper.

I started yelling for Liam.

(with an attitude,) He stumbles into the bathroom half asleep. I show him the blood. He is looking at me like he has no clue what that means. I tell him” I'm spotting that maybe we should stay home” because I'm pregnant and, spotting isn't always a good sign. I tell him that, “we should probably call the doctor to see if they can't get us an emergency appointment, just to make sure everything is ok.”

Liam says, “I’m sure you will be fine.” That we need to go to school. So, I put on a pad and, finish getting dressed for school. Making sure not to forget my hoodie, to hide the hand marks. Then put on a bit of foundation just to hide the handprint on my face. We missed the bus, so we have to walk.

When we get to school, I'm instantly met by my friend Holly hugging me. I flinch because I’m soar. When she pulls back, she asks if” I’m ok” saying that I look pale. I tell Liam “I need to use the bathroom,”

Holly takes the hint following me. Once we are in the bathroom, I tell Holly everything that has happened (with the wreck). (Holly still doesn’t know Liam hits me) To my surprise Holly says that “maybe he didn't mean to, that he was probably in a bad mood” (what the actual f**k. Since when does she stand up for Liam). I tell her “I'm spotting”, she pulls out her phone and, instantly starts googling (spotting while pregnant) on her phone. The website says it can be normal to spot during pregnancy but, I should always go to the doctor. I tell Holly that I can't go to the doctor because, for One I have no one to take me, and for Two that I can't miss school. With a sad look, she knows there is nothing more she can say to me to change my mind.

So, we all go about our day.

It's been a hell of a long day at school, and I'm still spotting. I'm exhausted, right now all I want to do is go home and sleep the rest of the day away.

Liam and, I are walking home when I start cramping.

By the time we get home I'm hurting worse. I can hardly walk from the pain. Liam finally notices something is wrong asking me if “I'm ok”. I tell him “I'm not sure” as we walk into the house. I go straight to the bathroom and, when I pull down my pants I see that I'm not spotting anymore. I'm fully bleeding now. I yell for Liam, I'm crying because the pain is getting worse, and I’m scared. Liams dad is not home, so Liam tells me we are going to “have to walk to his best friend Jake's house to use the phone.” With every bit of strength I have, we walk the 3 blocks to Jakes house. Jakes' mom Beth answers the door. Beth looks at me with worry. (I'm crying,) I tell her what is going on, she hands Liam her phone to call my mom. Wrapping me in her arms. While she hugs me, the flood gate opens, and I cry. Liam is on the phone telling my mom what is going on, but then walks over and hands me the phone.

(Phone call with mom)

Mom- “what is going on Bria.”

Bria- “mom, I'm bleeding and hurting really bad. I think I need to go to the emergency room and, get checked out.”

Mom- “ok give Bryan and, me thirty minutes. we will be there”.

Bria- “ok, please hurry I give her the address, so she knows and, we hang up.”

About thirty-five minutes later, she pulls up. Liam and, I get in the car. At the emergency room, when we walk in, my mom tells them everything that is going on, and they take me straight back to a room.

Once we are in a room, it isn't long before the nurse comes in to take my, vitals. Liam is standing in the corner of the room. When I could really use him by my side right now. My mom is in, her phone sitting on the side of the room. I wish I was just dead right now. Would anyone even miss me?

The nurse hands me a gown. Tells me “you’re going to need to put this gown on “and, that “the doctor will be in shortly”. About twenty minutes later, Doctor Boston comes in the room.

(doctor)

Doctor- “How long have you been pregnant.”

Bria- “I don't know. I haven’t been to an OBGYN appointment yet. My OBGYN appointment isn't for another couple weeks.”

The Doctor takes in my body. Then giving me an odd look. Asking me to explain what is going on, and when it started.

Bria- “Well, I got up this morning, and, saw I was spotting but, thought that it might be nothing. So, I went to school. I told him that when I was on my way home the pain started. Then explained that when I got home, I saw that I was bleeding now not spotting. I tell him I'm cramping pretty bad.”

Doctor- “looks at me with a worried look as he looks me up and down. (I Now know he sees the bruising) he doesn’t ask about them, and says that he is going to order an ultrasound, to see what is going on.”

Thirty minutes later, the ultrasound tech comes into the room. The ultrasound tech is quiet the whole time, it drives me crazy because I want to know what is going on. When she is done, she cleans my stomach and, walks out of the room.

I look at Liam with worry, but he seems to be in another world right now. He is still standing in the corner of the room. My mom is still in her damn phone, probably texting her husband because God forbid, she put me first. (and no way in hell she doesn't see the handprint bruises around my arms)

Twenty minutes later, the Doctor walks in with a look. I know what he is going to say before he says it. The look on his face gives it away.

Doctor- “well, Brianna you are about 8 weeks along, but I have some bad news. There is no heartbeat. I'm sorry to tell you this, but you are in the process of a Miscarriage”.

Doctor Boston looks around the room, taken in the fact that no one in the room, seems to give a f**k about me, and with a sad look, he puts his hand on mine. I start to cry pretty hard. (why me) (why god)?

Doctor- “hey, Brianna I know this is hard, but sometimes this happens. It's going to be ok”.

Bria- “thank you, doctor.”

The doctor gives me one last sad look an leaves. When he finally leaves, my mom looks up at me and says” you’re going to be ok Bria”. These things happen, plus you can always have another baby. Then goes back to her phone.

Liam has a blank look on his face like he was just flashed in the face by a camera. Finally, Liam snaps out of whatever world he was in. Walking over to the bed. He crawls in beside me then wraps his arms around me. He just holds me why I cry. (this is the kind, caring Liam I remember)

After a minute the Doctor comes back in, and explains the miscarriage process. Then tells me I should stay home from school for a few days. Just until I feel better. Doctor hands me some counseling papers, and says, “If you need to talk to someone you could, call these numbers.”

I tell him” Thank you” and go back to snuggling into Liam. After another thirty minutes we are discharged.

When we get home, I go straight to our room then crawl into bed. I lay there lifeless and, sad. While Liam walks into the room I ask him to shut off the lights. I just lay in the dark. (I silently pray to a god I'm not sure I believe in anymore, and ask him why? I know I'm young, but I was finally going to have a reason to live again.) I feel the bed dip. I know it's Liam, he wraps his arms around me and allows me to cry. After a few minutes, he kisses me. Then tries to slip his hand up my shirt. I push his hand away and, tell him to stop. That I'm not in the mood for any of that, and not to mention I'm bleeding out our baby right now. Liam then says, well, let's make another baby. I give him a dirty look. He grabs my face saying, “we will make another baby.”

Liam lets out a big sigh. He gets up leaving the room. I just lay there, in the dark for, days letting the tears fall. I only get up to use the bathroom. No one checks on me, Liam hasn’t been home. Not that I give a f**k, But, I figured my mom would at least check on me. I’ve been here, days in the dark, under the covers. I’ve not eaten, showered or even talked. Every night for days, I ask God in silent to send me someone to help me out of the dark. I ask him to take good care of my baby up there. I know I was only 8 weeks, and that I’m too young but I was so happy to become a mom. To have someone love me back just as much as I love them. I asked God to help me out of this storm.