Are you tough enough?

Chapter 3

Georg feels alone and worried.  What happened to the other guy?  What did he say was his name?  Sweat is forming on his forehead and the rope around his neck is starting to chafe him.  His arms and legs feel numb because of the lack of blood circulation.  He hopes that the guy will come back soon.  He is trying to remember his name, but his brain does not want to function properly. 

He starts to think about his life. He thinks about his wife Helga, she is back in Munich, waiting for his return after the school tour.  His two children, Hans and Ula, are wonderful children, hard working like him.  Hans is a first year engineering student at the University of Munich and Ula is in her final year of High school. He wonders if they even know that he is missing.  He has no idea how long he has been here.  He cannot see if it is day or night, as there are no windows in the room.  

He has been a hard working man his whole life.  He became deputy headmaster at age forty seven and has been in that position for the past eight years.  He is well respected and even the students like him.  He always tried to make his history lessons interesting and fun for the students.  This is his first visit out of Germany, and probably his last.  Georg is shocked by this thought. Up until now he thought that he would get to see another day, but at this very moment he is seriously doubting that fact.

His arms and legs start to cramp, he can feel the box slowly collapsing under his feet.  He starts to look around in the dark, for a possible escape.  But he cannot see anything as it is pitch black.  Panic starts to set in, as he realizes that his attacker is possibly not going to return.  His throat is dry and he tries to swallow but he can't.  Georg tries to focus, but he is having trouble keeping his head clear.  He has no idea how long he will be able to stand like this.  What was it that his attacker said he did?  He can't even remember, something to do with how he treated someone.  

He blinks his eyes and tries to shake his head, to try and focus, but the rope makes it difficult for him to move his head. He can feel the sweat on his upper lip and he feels the drops running along his face.   Trying to move his hands to get the blood flowing through his veins only proves to be problematic.  With every move the box collapses a little more. 

His mind starts to wander of better times with his wife and his children, happy times.  Holidays they had, where everybody was happy and enjoyed themselves.  He thinks of the plans that Helga and himself made for when Ula is out of the house. They wanted to see the world.  Suddenly he feels very sad and sorry for himself that they will never have that opportunity.   At least his wife and children know that he loved them.

His mind is starting to play tricks on him, it sounds like someone is unlocking the door.  He yells out for help, but no sound comes out of his mouth as his mouth and throat is too dry.  He holds his breath and listens.  No sound.  There is no one there.  He is all alone, he was left here to die, all alone.  Left to die for nothing.  Emotions overwhelm him and he starts to sob. His body shakes from the sobs and he tries to call out for help, but once again no sound escapes his lips.

He is contemplating if he should step off the box and end it all now, or should he wait it out in the hope that the man will come back.  The pain in his arms and legs are becoming unbearable and his back is killing him.  He is thirsty and hungry and he is very tired.  What did he do to deserve this?  He cannot think of anything in his life where he wronged anybody in his past.  

The only sound he can hear is his own breathing.  Maybe he should try and adjust his stance a little to get the blood flowing again.  His brain tells him that the man will be back very soon, if he can just hold on for a little while longer....  He tries to adjust his legs a little, but suddenly the box gives way and collapses under his weight.  The rope tightens around his neck, he can't breathe and he feels an excruciating pain in his neck and it feels like his head wants to explode ... then everything went black.

*****

Serge stands in front of the door of the run down farmhouse. He took the train from Paris to the small rural town of Saint-Savin situated in the French Pyrenees, from there he took a scenic walk to the farm where he grew up. He missed his grandmother, he hadn't been visiting in a while.  Every time he visits her on the farm, the demons of his past start to haunt him.  He walks up to the door and knocks.  He hears shoveling footsteps at the other side of the door, they are slow as if they belong to an elderly person.  A small gray haired old lady opens the door. She looks up at him and adjusts her glasses.  Joy floods over her face and she smiles. "Serge, my boy!  Where have you been, I missed you so much?"  She says, throwing her arms around his waist.  

He bends down and hugs her tightly. "I missed you too grand-mère"  He says with a warm smile.  His grandmother was always there for him.  Even if her son was the one that did all those things to him.  He loves this little old lady. After his useless mother abandoned him and left him with his cruel father, his grandmother was the one that made his life worth living.

He puts his bag on the floor and looks around the room.  This old house needs some renovations.  The paint is peeling off, the ceiling has water damage, the wooden floors are cracked and splintered.  He sees broken windows and he is sure that the roof is leaking as well.  "How long will you be staying mon loulou?"  She says with a wide smile looking at his bag.  

"Oh grandmother, I am not so little anymore,'' he says laughing while rubbing his hands over his stomach.  "I am not staying this time.  But I promise, next time I will stay over for a while."  He says, while the words saddens him when he sees her disappointment.

"No worries, we will make the best of the time we have.  You are so skinny, what are you eating because it looks like it is not enough.  You need a woman to look after you"  She says, taking his hand and leading him to the kitchen. "Come, I will make you some of my special Ratatouille, you used to love it when you were a little boy."  She says chatting away and smiling all the while.

"Thank you  grand-mère, I am starving"  He says with a smile.  He cannot resist his grandmother's ratatouille.  That was his favorite comfort food after a torture session with his father.  He kisses his grandmother on the head.  Her hair is just as soft as he always remembered.  "I will come and stay here for a week, and then fix up the house a little, how about that?"  He says looking down into her blue eyes.

"I would love that mon loulou..., my little one.  I guess you are right you are not my little one anymore"  She chuckles.  

While his grandmother is busy preparing the ratatouille, he starts to wander around the farm grounds.  Everything is dilapidated, he wishes he could be here for his grandmother and look after the place for her.  But there are too many bad memories and nightmares lurking around every corner.  

Suddenly he finds himself in front of the old barn.  He must have walked here subconsciously, because he did not intend to end up here.  If it wasn't that he missed his grandmother and wanted to see her, he would have never come here. He pushes open the creaking barn door.  Everything is covered in dust and it smells old and... dead.

He looks up at the wooden beam on the roof. In an instance he is back here when he was a little boy.  He was ten years old when his father started 'training' him to be tough.  He hated every moment of it and hated his father even more.  No one knew what happened in this barn, only him and his father.  

His father used to string him up on the wooden beam with a hangman's noose around his neck.  He had to stand then as still as possible to avoid hanging.  His father will leave him then for hours and if his father came back and he saw traces of tears, then he got a beating as well.  

Serge had to show his father he was tough, he was not allowed to cry, especially when he was made to stand with the noose around his neck.  One day when he was fifteen years old, he managed to escape from the noose.  His father gave him a beating that day that almost killed him.  A year later was the last time he saw his father, he ran away from his childhood home and he joined the notorious French foreign legion.