Entangled in Lust

5. Blinded by First Love

It had been almost a week since Dave's birthday party—and since Lucas asked me for my phone number. But I still hadn’t heard anything from him. No messages, no notifications. Just a blank screen I stared at countless times a day.

His behavior at school was... different. Or maybe I was just becoming too sensitive. He never really greeted me, just fleeting glances when we passed each other in the hallway, then quickly looking away as if nothing had ever happened between us.

But what made everything more complicated was Jessica. Ever since her heartbreak from Samuel, it felt like she had a new mission: to get Lucas’s attention. And oddly enough, Lucas didn’t push her away. He didn’t seem eager, but he didn’t reject her either. Maybe that was just how he was—calm, quiet, and conflict-avoidant.

I tried not to care. But of course I cared.

A few times I saw Lucas trying to talk to me—or maybe I imagined it. But every time he got close, something would get in the way. His loud friends, Dave showing up out of nowhere, or Jessica arriving with her brightest smile and most cheerful voice.

Then, on the day of the school talent show, Jessica sang confidently. After her dazzling performance, she walked straight up to Lucas, holding a rose, and declared in front of everyone:

"Lucas... I want to tell you how I feel. I like you. Will you be my boyfriend?"

Everyone went quiet. I froze, watching from afar. But Lucas calmly replied,

"Sorry, Jess... I can’t be your boyfriend because I already have a girlfriend."

That sentence kept ringing in my head.

Girlfriend? Who? Since when? Why didn’t he tell me anything? I knew I had no right to be jealous. But it felt like a tiny needle piercing straight through my chest.

-------

That night, I couldn’t sleep. I tossed in bed, flipped my pillow, hugged my bolster, pulled the blanket over my head—anything to soothe myself. But nothing worked. My thoughts kept circling back to Lucas’s words. Who was his girlfriend? Was I mistaken? Or had he never seen me as more than a friend? I wanted to believe he was just trying to let Jessica down gently. But maybe my feelings had been nothing more than a delusion.

I clutched my bolster and stared at the ceiling. My thoughts were a mess. I tried to distract myself by opening the textbook left on my desk. I barely read one paragraph before my eyes drifted back to my phone. Still blank. No messages. No trace of him. I told myself to stop hoping. But a stubborn, foolish part of me still wished he’d remember me—just a little.

I closed the book and turned off the desk lamp. I tried to sleep, but images of Jessica and Lucas kept looping in my mind. Even with my eyes shut, Jessica’s voice echoed—"I like you..." and Lucas’s calm reply. I rolled side to side, turned my phone on and off again. Still nothing.

Suddenly, my phone buzzed. I stared at the screen, slightly stunned—Lucas. Why was he reaching out now, after all this? Then I opened his message.

My left hand trembled a little as I unlocked the screen. It felt strange—part relief, part nerves. I even took a deep breath before reading it. My heart thudded faster, trying to guess what he would say.

In that moment, all sleep vanished. Curiosity, hope, and anxiety tangled inside me. This wasn’t just about a message. It was about whether I still mattered to him. Whether he remembered that night at the party, or if it had meant nothing to him.

L: Can we meet tomorrow afternoon? I want to talk.

He had sent the message twelve hours earlier. I hadn’t replied right away. My heart was too full of doubts and questions. But eventually, I wrote back.

C: Okay. But not somewhere crowded. I don’t want anyone from school to see.

L: Okay. See you tomorrow, Cell..

I read his last message but didn’t reply again. Curiosity haunted me through the night. Lying awake, I kept thinking—what would I say to him tomorrow? What would he say to me? And how would I respond?

-------

We agreed to meet at a small amusement park on the edge of town. It was the weekend, so the place was quiet when we arrived early.

I got there first. Wearing a hoodie, jacket, and cap. Practically disguised. I sat on a bench near the entrance, pretending to scroll through my phone.

Lucas arrived fifteen minutes later. His eyes landed on me with curiosity.

"You... in disguise?" he asked, holding back a smile.

I looked at him blankly. "I don’t want anyone from school to recognize us. If people see us together, Jessica could be devastated."

He was quiet for a moment. "I get it. But... I really want to talk, Cell. I haven’t had the chance before."

I didn’t respond. I simply stood and walked toward the ride entrance.

"Let’s go. What do you want to ride first?"

He followed me, still silent. Maybe confused by my sudden coldness. But honestly, I was confused by my own emotions.

As we walked toward the first ride, a bunch of kids ran past us. One of them nearly knocked me over. I lost balance and almost fell—but Lucas caught me just in time.

My body stopped just inches from his chest. For a moment, I felt his breath—warm, close. His gaze locked onto mine, searching.

I quickly stood straight and stepped away.

"Let’s try the haunted house," I said quickly.

Lucas frowned, then chuckled. "Seriously? Aren’t you scared of scary stuff?"

I looked away. "How do you know?"

He smiled faintly. "Jessica told me."

I fell silent. It felt like being strangled from the inside.

"I’m not scared," I said quickly, pulling him in.

Inside the haunted house, I clung tightly to his arm. Sometimes I even grabbed his chest when something creepy jumped out. Lucas chuckled.

"Turns out you’re brave."

"Nope. I’m scared to death."

"Then why come in here?"

"So we wouldn’t have time to talk."

He looked at me for a long moment. But said nothing. We kept walking, and once we exited the ride, I took a deep breath.

Lucas tried to suggest we sit somewhere, but I quickly pulled him to the extreme ride—a mini roller coaster. He followed, though his eyes held questions.

Afterwards, we stopped near a photo booth. Lucas gave a small smile and pulled me inside.

"What now?"

"Talk. It’s soundproof in here."

He inserted several coins—enough for multiple shots.

As the curtain closed, he stared directly into my eyes.

"Marcella... I like you. Since we first talked in class, when you gave me bread, when we danced, and at the party. I like everything about you."

I stayed silent. The camera clicked. One photo.

"I want you to be my girlfriend. But... I won’t force you. You can think about it."

Still silent, I looked into his unwavering eyes.

Click. Two... three... four photos.

Then, just before the fifth snap, Lucas leaned in.

He kissed my cheek.

Click.

We both froze. Then a voice called from outside,

"Time’s up! You can come out now! People are waiting!"

Lucas took my hand and led me out.

"One more ride," he said. "So I can hear your answer."

He brought me to the swan boats. We sat side by side, floating on a pond lit with colorful lights.

"Well?" he asked softly.

I stared at the water. "I don’t know what to say. I thought you already had a girlfriend after what you said to Jessica."

"Yeah, the girlfriend I meant was you, Cell. I like you."

"But Jessica likes you, and she’s my best friend. And I’m scared everyone at school will judge me for this."

Lucas was quiet. "I don’t care what people think."

"But I do."

A splash of water from nearby kids hit us. Lucas immediately shielded me with his body. His shirt got soaked.

"You’re all wet."

"Doesn’t matter. As long as you’re not."

We sat in silence until the boat reached the dock.

As we stepped out, I stopped at the exit. My heart thudded.

"I like you too. I want to be your girlfriend... but for now, let’s keep it a secret. Let’s keep it a secret."

"I want to tell everyone you’re mine. Can’t we just not care what people think?"

"Please... just for now, let’s not tell anyone. When the time is right, I promise I’ll shout to the world that I’m your girlfriend."

Lucas smiled and chuckled softly. His hand gently squeezed mine—firm, warm, but gentle.

"Okay, if that’s what you want. Deal, yeah."

And that night, I went home with my heart still racing.

First love. It felt like a dream. But also dangerous.

Because for the first time…

the world felt like it was mine, but I knew,

not everything could be mine without a price.

And deep down, I began to realize:

I had started something sweet…

but it might just end in bitterness.